The Smiling House

BumGenius "Freetime" Diapers

2012-01-14T08:57:00.000-08:00

Since I enjoy our BumGenius 4.0 diapers so much, I thought that I would buy a couple of the new "Freetime" diapers in the "Albert" print. I read a lot of reviews first, before making my purchase, because I don't have a whole lot of money. I can only buy a few diapers at a time, and they have to really work for us. But, since I really like BG and most of the reviews were really good, I decided to shell out the money for a couple diapers for my boys to use and abuse. If you haven't seen this new diaper, here is a video that Kim from Dirty Diaper Laundry (*one of my favorite diaper-minded sites*) made, and you can see all of the inside bits. :)

With only having two of these diapers in my rotation, it took me a little while to see how I was really going to like it. I can imagine that other moms will have different opinions on how it functions, being that I don't have real young babies to use it on. My boys are currently 1- 1/2 years old. I've found that this diaper seems to be a little more generous than the 4.0 diapers. It isn't that they are bulkier, but that they seem to have just a little more rise. Maybe it has more to do with how the insides all lay together? I don't know.

Both of my boys are able to wear this diaper on the medium setting, and are very comfortable. I love not having to stuff the diaper, and when I put it under their bottoms, I just hold the back of the diaper and gently pull the front with my other hand. The two fold-over panels then open up just enough to adjust for the size of my little ones. With the way that the flaps fit in the diaper, it keeps any bulk from sliding up too high inside the diaper, and causing the waist area to become ill-fitting. I've had a little trouble with this, with some other diapers. I would stuff them and try to fold down some of the insert and pull everything a little further down in the diaper, because having the insert right under the snaps was making it difficult to get the leg adjustment where I needed it to be without making the waist too tight. As I said, one of my boys is rather skinny. Because of the absorbent flaps being sewn in the front and back, I don't have to worry about them traveling where I don't want them.

I've read some reviews where folks had trouble with the flaps bunching up, but I haven't had that problem at all. With the middle setting, I don't have to fold the flaps over at all for my boys. This might be where our experience could be totally different from trying to diaper a small infant. I can imagine that with the two flaps, watery baby poo, particularly if the babe is breastfed, it might get pretty messy inside the diaper. To be honest though, having nursed both of my boys, there wasn't a single diaper that was any different. There is going to be crazy, wicked mess. Just so long as it is held in and doesn't leave me changing the baby's clothes every time they have a poo, I'm fine with it. With little baby poo, it isn't all that sticky, so I can't imagine that it is all that hard to wash off. On the other hand, I don't have a diaper sprayer. Some folks get so comfortable with never having to touch anything, they are terribly put-out if they have to swish a diaper or wash it out by hand. I've heard that these diapers are hard to spray, because of the flaps. If you use a sprayer, that might be something to consider. Since my boys have some pretty solid poo, I can usually just dump it over in the toilet, and the Freetime hasn't made this any more difficult.

I like the absorbency in these diapers. I've only used them during the day, and I don't need any extra inserts for them. If I were going to use them at night, I'd probably want to put at least an extra layer of microfleece in the bottom of the diaper. Since I've used the 4.0's pretty regularly overnight, without any leaks, I can't imagine these causing me any trouble. I know that some folks think that by the time you have it all stuffed and ready for bed, the diapers are rather bulky. However, I haven't found a nighttime solution that isn't bulky, aside from a paper diaper. My concern isn't how bulky something is at night, but rather whether it will leak, or whether the waist and leg bindings will be comfortable for that many hours. If I put BG diapers on a little loose, they don't leave any marks, but still don't leak. That works for me. I'll certainly go with that if I don't have my woolies available at night.

Anyway, I thought that all of the folding of the flaps would be annoying, and then found out that I don't need to fold them at all on the medium size. Groovy. We have plenty of room to move up to the Large size as the boys grow. Should they need more absorbency, it is no trouble to drop an insert into the bottom of the diaper and flip the flaps back over it. I love not having to stick my hand inside a diaper, because it's just not an easy task for me. Maybe I have fat hands. lol

Well, there it is. If we need to buy more diapers to fill out our rotation, I would be pretty happy to pick up some more of these. I think that the "Albert" pattern is so stinkin' cute. It would be cool if they had some more patterns like this that were attractive. I'm not into the abstract "artist series" stuff that they have been doing. I like the color choices that they offer in solids though, so it would be no hardship to "settle". :)

TotsBots Easy Fit Diapers

2011-12-28T13:48:00.000-08:00

So, I splurged on some new diapers a little while back. I bought some Easy-Fit diapers by TotsBots. They were a few dollars more expensive than the AIO diapers that I had previously bought, but I thought that that might be alright, given that there is a higher stated weight limit for them. With one of my boys being a rather sturdy little guy, it is hard to tell what we'll still be able to fit him into by the time that he is ready to start using the potty.

Appearance
I really like the colors and prints that TotsBots has available. Sure, it doesn't mean a whole lot, especially when the Littles usually have pants on over their diapers. Still, it is kind of nice to have a cool pattern or nice looking color, because they can run around without their pants on during the summer time.

I was surprised by how wide, thick, and sturdy the hook and loop closures are. The strip on the tummy looks a little less sturdy, so I am hoping that it won't fall apart after a year of use. The tabs themselves though, are pretty nice, and they fold over and hold real well on the laundry tab section.

The inside of the diaper has brushed polyester around the outer edges of the diaper, to keep it from wicking moisture out onto the baby's clothes. The inside panel is a very soft rayon, from bamboo. On the other side of the panel is absorbent microfiber. Instead of having a separate insert for this diaper, this diaper has an inside panel that is twice as long, that you tuck into the pocket.

I have to admit, when I first opened these diapers, I checked to make sure that no one was around to tease me, and then I rubbed one on my cheek. These are SO soft. I think that this is one of the things that I like the best about this diaper. They are just so soft. The only part of this diaper that isn't incredibly soft and flexible is the hook and loop. The leg elastic is stretchy enough, that combined with the softness of the fabric, these diapers don't leave any marks on my little boys.

The longer insert is so convenient, being that I can't lose it and don't have to hunt through my laundry basket to find the right inserts. Stuffing the diaper is made easier by the fact that the opening is made to open up wider than the other diapers that I've used. So, I can get my hand in there, with the insert, without having to fuss overly much with it.

Function

I like this diaper, but I can't see buying any more of them than I currently have. I wouldn't mind having a whole stash of them, but they simply cost too much. I understand that they have to be imported from Scotland, and that impacts the price. It would be awesome if they were a few dollars cheaper, because I think that plenty of moms would enjoy this diaper if it would fit in their budget more easily.

I love how trim these diapers can be, for little ones who don't wet a whole lot at one time. If we are around the house and I don't mind changing the boys more frequently, the single attached insert is just fine. The little ones seem to enjoy the freedom of movement that comes with having a smaller diaper. However, if I know that they are drinking a lot of fluids and will be hard to pin down for a diaper change, this diaper just won't cut it on it's own. I have to add a doubler to the pocket, and that makes the diaper just as thick as any of the other pocket diapers that we've used.

So, all in all, I think that these are a real nice diaper. They would be great to put in our diaper bag, since they are so trim. Packing a bag with cloth diapers for twins is... challenging. These TotsBots Easy Fit diapers would fit nicely, and I can just throw them into the diaper pail without pulling out any inserts. Very good. The price, however, is pretty prohibitive. These were a real splurge for me at $23 each. If I had needed to buy separate inserts at approximately $3 each, that makes these diapers pretty spendy.

It looks like the AIO winner is our house is still the BumGenius 4.0 with snaps. We'll see soon how the BumGenius Freetime compares to the functionality of our reigning 'champion'. :)

Groceries & The Menu Plan

2011-12-11T13:05:00.001-08:00

Breakfasts: Crock Pot porridge. I bought two canisters of oats, one "old fashion", and one "quick". If I am running behind and am in a crunch, I can always cook up some quick oats and at least get something in some tummies. If I have my stuff together and haven't completely gone all 'air head', then hopefully I can have the oats cook overnight and be ready in the morning for the kidlets. It cost $4 for all the oats, which should last more than this one week. Using some canned milk from the store, and fruit & honey from home, I think that the kidlets will be plenty happy with their morning meal. I even have some nuts on-hand for Sissy, should she want them... or even a few chocolate chips. As a compliment to the meal, and in our attempt to not be scurvy pirates, we will be enjoying some unsweetened orange juice with breakfast. I'm not sure that the boys will appreciate it, but I'll see if they like a little mixed in with their water. If not, they can have a splash of Daddy's apple cider in their water cups.

Snacks: We have bananas this week, along with a box of graham crackers. I have some ready-made muffin mix in the pantry, and I think that I'll make up some of those too. That should keep the boys from eating each other, I think. A muffin should be sufficient to keep Sissy from wasting away during homework time, before dinner is ready.

Lunches: In an effort to cut down on our expenses, I am going to make a point to pack lunches for DH this week. I got a pound of Roasted Chicken luncheon meat for sandwiches, and we have pretzels and popcorn at home already. So, since he likes to snack, I will probably air-pop some popcorn for my love, to go with his sandwich. Since he has a water bottle already, he'll be all set on that front. The boys and I can eat soups, and I bought a pack of cheese for Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. We also already have the fixin's for scrambled eggs, french toast, or maybe some Spaghetti O's. There is a little bit of everything. Sissy gets a hot lunch at school, since it makes it pretty hard for her to accidentally forget her lunch somewhere and go hungry. hehe.

Dinners: Ok, this is going to be a little trickier. This is what I have in the grocery bag today:
1 whole fryer
Approx. 5 lbs. of onions
Frozen Veggies: Corn, Green Beans, and California Medly
10 lbs. of potatoes

I have some carrots in the fridge, that could be used up before they get slimy. I have some other things in the pantry, that I can pull if I need it.

I am thinking that we'll do something like....

*put a turkey in the fridge to defrost for next week*

Sunday: Leftover Mac and Cheese, steamed broccoli, steamed peas, and buttered bread.
Monday: Roasted chicken breast and legs, baked potatoes, roasted onions, and soup w/ crackers
Tuesday: Chicken corn chowder (whatever meat I can pick from the thighs and back of chicken, corn, potatoes, carrots, misc. scavenged veggies from the freezer, milk) in homemade bread bowls
Wednesday: Pinto bean soup, Corn muffins
Thursday: Eggs , Pancakes (make extra pancakes for Saturday morning)

*Shabbat*: Spaghetti w/ meat sauce, bread w/ garlic butter (plenty of leftovers to eat the next afternoon)

My trip to the store today cost me $45.70. Let's see if we can make it until the beginning of next week before seeing the store again. :)

Rex, the Meatosaurus

2011-11-26T07:20:00.000-08:00

Well, he used to be my small little Peanut baby, my wee guy who struggled with reflux so much that he had a hard time growing big and strong.

Now that the boys are a bit older, we've come to realize that our "little" boy isn't little on the inside. Nope. He may have little arms, but he has a big RAaaaaaaarrrr! lol

I bought the boys some sweatshirts, to get through the cold months, and I got such a chuckle as to how appropriate it was when I tugged Peanut's sweatshirt on.... and there was a T-Rex on the front. I watched him stomp through the house, and it just stuck. It seems far more appropriate for him these days.

Pondering Feasts & Fasting

2011-11-21T09:07:00.000-08:00

Food is just that stuff that we need, a simple matters of calories in and calories out, right?

The more that I an really getting deeper into the Torah, the more that I am learning the value of food.

When people killed an animal to eat with you, it had meaning. When YHVH instructs his people to sacrifice and animal and eat foods, it has meaning. I am only just now getting into the understanding of covenants and how important they are.

What I am seeing is that what passes our lips is important. I was never raised to think that way though, living in a typical quasi-Christian, American home. My parents weren't educated in the Scriptures, and able to teach me what they meant, and so I am seeing so many things with brand new eyes, as an adult. It has been a long, slow journey, but so wonderful.

This is going to be my household's first year of observing the Feasts of Yahweh, come the spring. We are going to have a Hanukkah celebration, but that isn't the same thing, as it is more of a historical remembrance of a happening, kept by tradition. While we aren't obligated, I think that it will be something nice to share in, as a family (same for Purim). Since we are only just recently learning enough about the Feasts to know HOW to share in them, our first experience will be with Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread.

With so much focus these days being put on feasting, I want to make a point to try and learn how to also fast in a way that is pleasing to Father. I have been unthinking in how I eat, and what I eat... and it shows. I am reminded, when I dress for the day, all of the ways that I have been careless. I know that I have lived a less than disciplined life, in many regards. It's just this one area that seems to be on display for anyone to notice. That's not to say that I care out of a sense of vanity, but that there is a feeling of nakedness right now. I feel as though I've had my covering removed, and my head shorn. So, to go hand-in-hand with learning what it means to eat with people, to make covenants, and what meaning that food has between God and his people, I want to learn how to purposefully sacrifice and put food away from myself. I can imagine that learning this exercise will help me to value food more, and also the context in which it is received.

The Missing Christmas

2011-11-19T21:47:00.000-08:00

* * *

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” -John 8:12

* * *

(An open letter to our family.)

What I am about to say, is likely to make many people upset or angry with me. Still, there is no getting around the obvious. We aren't celebrating Christmas within our household, not this year, nor the years after. I know that it gets hackles up for some people, and of the first questions that we get, "Does that mean that you aren't Christian anymore, that you are converting to Judaism?"- that seems to be the most frequent.

Let me just say, for the record....

We are lovers of the Almighty God, Creator of all. We believe that Yeshua (called Jesus), is the Messiah that Father promised, and that he is the Word made flesh. We believe that there is ONE God, and I don't personally feel that I need to twist myself up like a pretzel to try and explain how one God could reveal Himself through more than one way of being. I'll leave it as this- He is God, and He can do whatever He wishes, and through whatever means He desires.

We believe that Yeshua (Jesus) died so that all who would be a part of His people, His bride, would be spotless and without blemish. For the sake of her, to cleanse her from the sin of adultery with foreign gods, the bridegroom paid the wage of her sin and died in her stead. Having been raised from the dead, triumphant over sin and the grave, Yeshua sits at the right hand of the Father and will one day come again for his bride.

We, lovers of Yahweh, proclaim that we are children of Abraham, grafted in from among the nations. Though we are not natural-born to Israel, we have been brought in among her by the grace of God. We are children born by faith, instead of bloodlines. Counting ourselves as children of the Most High, we believe that God has things that he desires that we do, and things that we don't do. We don't believe that there is one set of rules for the House of Judah, and that all other children of God get a different "rule book". Exodus 12:49: "One law shall be to him that is homeborn, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among you."

There is a lot of confusion in the Christian church, concerning the guidelines and instruction (torah) of God. For as long as I can remember, it has been stressed that we learn the commandments that Moses received on the mountain. Still, we were told that the law was done away with.... while we were still expected to know at least a portion of the commandments and obey them, uh, except the Sabbath. That one was still somehow done away with, though you couldn't lie, bear false witness, covet, etc. I have come to realize that the general understanding within the church is- Yeshua (Jesus) "Fulfilling" the torah has somehow come to mean that he did away with the parts that we don't like, but he kept the parts that we find acceptable. I am a big enough adult now that I feel capable of saying- I don't accept that. At all. Not even a little. That statement alone would make me very unwelcome among many of the people that I love. I don't say it lightly.

(This is, obviously, a big conversation. There will be more on law & grace, later.)

What does this have to do with Christmas?

Historically, the Christian church has this habit of taking pagan worship and trying to sanitize it for our common use. I've heard it said that we can take back days, practices, symbols, etc. and use them for good. However, I have yet to read that in the scriptures. Instead, God has a habit of saying things like:

"Destroy completely all the places on the high mountains and on the hills and under every spreading tree where the nations you are dispossessing worship their gods. ³ Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and burn their Asherah poles in the fire; cut down the idols of their gods and wipe out their names from those places.

You must not worship the LORD your God in their way." --Deuteronomy 12:2-4

After reading and reading some more, until I thought my eyes might fall out of my head, it seems evident to me that God doesn't want us to worship him in the ways that pagans worship their gods. Nope. He's all about the smashing, burning, and wiping-out of false gods and the ways that they are worshiped. He doesn't say anything about taking their silly god trees, decorated with silver and gold (Jeremiah 10:3-4), and incorporating them in worship to Him. The traditions that we've picked up from pagan worship are many and varied, and while I'm not afraid of these symbols or fake gods, I don't see any benefit in using them in worship to Yahweh, when He doesn't want to be worshiped like that.

So, what does that leave us? Is it possible to celebrate Christmas without involving any of the practices of Saturnalia? I just don't know. First, there is no reason whatsoever to believe that Yeshua (Jesus) was born on or particularly near December 25th, which used to be the winter solstice. So, what is the point of celebrating on that day, if one is trying to cull out the pagan? The giving of gifts is a nice thing to do on any day, and wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing to do during any celebration. I don't have a problem with that, though I have concerns about materialism, and what it does to us spiritually. Most of the trappings that we associate with Christmas, though, are "borrowed" from pagan worship. I don't know if there is really anything to salvage after that. So, are we so addicted to the idea of Christmas that we do mental and spiritual gymnastics to try and make a way to celebrate it without offending God?

I guess that I am simply not creative enough, and don't feel like straining myself that much. It doesn't mean enough to me to keep a day that God hasn't told His people to keep.

This year, instead of celebrating Christmas, we are going to take a page from history and rub it all over our lives. Like Maccabees, we are going to "hammer" pagan worship from our "temples", and re-dedicate them to the Lord. We think on Yeshua (Jesus), the Light of the world, coming and being a presence in this earthly place. We think of the Holy Spirit reflecting in us, these blood and bone temples, that we can be a shining city on a hill. It has nothing to do with self-righteousness, judgement of others' practice, or earning salvation. It has to do with our journey on a closer walk, and what that looks like for us.

Are we Christians? Sure. I have no problem with the title, though I know that there are some Christians who would like to disown us just as surely as the Jews do. We are simply believers, choosing to follow God's guidelines and instructions to the best of our abilities, not out of a desire to earn heaven- but out of a love for the One who loved us first. He didn't have to make a way for us. With humility and gratitude, we are choosing to walk His way, as best we can. We know that we can't do it perfectly, but that Yeshua is perfection for us. Still, what is important to Him, is important to me. This is going to be a grand adventure for us, learning to walk a new way, as we joyfully embrace what Yahweh says to "do", and leaving off what he says, "do not". I am sure that there will be lots of questions, confusion, and stumbling along for us. Still, while we will wobble along like toddlers, I feel confident that Father's hand will be holding us steady as we learn.

Just to wrap up, let me say that our decision to not keep Christmas doesn't mean that we are in any way looking down our noses at anyone else. If you see joy in what we are doing, and want to join in with us, you are very welcome to. If not, that's ok too. We can still hug one another, eat turkey and stuffing until we feel like Butterballs, and spend good time together as a family. If anyone feels like doing it more often, we typically have a really good meal at home every Friday evening. I might have to institute a fine for teasing, however. For every ribbing about not eating pork, someone should have to give my husband a package of turkey "bacon". hehe. :)

My Totally Whack Menu Plan

2011-11-15T08:52:00.000-08:00

Here is my menu plan for this week. I'm just making it up as I type this out. lol Oh yeah, I have really got my stuff together today, right? hehe.

Monday: Baked Chicken & Cauliflower (was yummy!)
Tuesday: Homemade Sloppy Joe & Pasta Salad
Wednesday: Baked Mac & Cheese & Mystery Vegetables (whatever I can find in the pantry that needs to be used up)
Thursday: Bean Soup & Cornbread (I'm going to try adding a little ground beef, since we have stopped eating pork. Hopefully, a wee touch of beef fat will help round out the flavor of the beans.)
Erev Shabbat Meal: General Tso's stir fried chicken, green beans, corn, and carrots, served over rice.

We are spending much of the Shabbat with family, having an "early" Thanksgiving meal together. Some of our lovies are going out of town, so this will give us a chance to spend time with them. Since there is only so much feasting that this gal can do, I'm not going to cook a big dinner on the official day for Thanksgiving. We'll just invite some company over to share our meal on Friday evening.

Thankfulness Nov. 10th

2011-11-10T08:07:00.000-08:00

Today, I am thankful for computers and the internet. Oh, I know, they can be HUGE time wasters. Like all tools though, that is simply user error, and not a fault in the equipment. :)

I am thankful that I have a way to keep photos and videos of my family, to enjoy for many years. I am thankful that this technology allows me the opportunity to "talk" with people that I would otherwise never even knew existed.

I am thankful for all of the information that I have been able to gather, to know and understand more about God and the world that he created for us, and to have conversation about such things with wise (and sometimes unwise) people all over the world. I have a greater ability to learn about customs that I was not raised to know, and the opportunity to help support God's people who are also farther away, doing work that I am unable to go and do.

I am thankful that I can get a note from a family member, and it doesn't take days, weeks, or months to get here.

I am thankful for the opportunity to learn "lost" arts that women have kept alive all through the ages, and that enables me to teach my own children.

Thankfulness Nov. 9th

2011-11-09T08:33:00.000-08:00

Today, I am thankful for the small moments with my girl. For instance, she likes to keep herself busy with any number of creative endeavors, but I ask that she not do them in the car. Instead, I like to sit and talk with her in the morning, before school. We put on one of our favorite radio stations, and we laugh over their antics. There are funny questions of the day, so we talk about goofy things, like what our favorite type of cookie is.

The afternoons are much the same, only a lot of our conversation revolves around how things went during school. These are the times when she confesses that she got caught working in her "business binder" during free reading, so the teacher took it from her... for safe keeping. (...and a little bribery, to keep her focused on work. lol ) I learn that she was taught "e" and "f" on the cornet, and that if you make your lips do *just so*, you can make a funny buzzing sound. Oh yes, and she shows me every single Star Wars character that she made via origami. Sissy puts them on her fingers and tells me the story of each one, and I tell her what a great job she did on them, while secretly wondering if she managed to learn anything in school that is more beneficial than origami. hehehe. :D

I love these times. During the week, we don't get a whole lot of time to just be together. It was so different when she was younger, and she was home educated. We would go out to breakfast together on Thursday mornings, and share an "Early Bird Special" at one of our favorite diners. We would walk hand-in-hand through the mall, or do our grocery shopping. We'd snuggle together in a chair and watch a movie in the evenings, and read books before bed. Then, she had to go on and do that "growing up" thing.

I love my big girl, but that doesn't mean that from time to time, I don't wish to have my little girl to hug and hold again. Things are so different at this age. So, I enjoy all of the small moments when she is looking at me and talking to me, when we see each other as simple human beings for a few minutes. We just enjoy the company, until she gives me a kiss, and I send her off with my hopes that she has a good day at school. She gives me that crooked little smile that I adore so much, and she tells me to have a good day at home, too.

These are all the things that I am thankful for today.

Thankfulness Nov. 8th

2011-11-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

Today, I am thankful for Autumn. Every year, I find myself in awe of how our loving Father has given us such beautiful things to behold. This isn't a beauty that you need to pay for, to decorate your home with. I can sit on the cold concrete of my porch, a cup of coffee in hand, and just take it all in. I don't even live in a particularly attractive place, to be honest. It doesn't matter though, because this worn bit of land is decorated just as prettily as the high-dollar neighborhoods. God is an equal-opportunity decorator, giving the prettiest to all of us, regardless of our net worth.

The fall leaves are like a fun, crunchy snow. They cover all the dirty bits, and give the children something exciting to play with, that won't give them frostbite. :) There is wonder in the eyes of the little lambs, experiencing the dry texture of fallen leaves for the first time, the way that they are so easily crushed in their not-so-gentle hands. There is excitement and happiness in the face of my big girl, as she builds a pile of leaves for her brothers, knowing that they can't do it themselves.

I'm thankful for pink cheeks and cold noses, as they are a sweet compliment to a bright smile. Yay for the time of sweaters, hot cocoa, fluffy socks, and bouquets of bold colored leaves.

Playing in the Kitchen

2011-11-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

If there is anything that the boys love more than climbing on the furniture and falling on their heads, it is playing with the kitchen cabinets. Sure, they could pull out all of my mixing bowls and baking sheets, and even dump the cereal all over them. They could steal apples, knock over potatoes, and roll the soda across the floor. It's all in good fun though. :D

Today's Question: A King

2011-10-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

Something that I've been thinking about, is this:

How does someone who has never been under the rule of one man, and has never in thought or practice seen another person as "above" them, understand what it is to revere a king? More specifically, our King and Ruler of all creation? It's just one of those strange thoughts that has popped into my head, a realization that I don't know what it means to truly been in awe of anything or anyone. I have felt appreciation and gratitude, but what is that *it* that would cause a person to drop to their knees? I can't imagine how Moses must have felt, just looking even upon the back of the Lord as he passed by. I am sure that it must have been something to make one's heart skip a beat, to steal the breath, to leave one utterly overcome. Since I've never been in any situation that is even a weak shadow of that, I have no understanding. It is good to know though, that eventually I will know- when either He comes, or I go.

The Cutting of Hair

2011-10-18T08:26:00.000-07:00

I broke out the clippers and gave the boys' their first good haircut at home, last night. I had tried to use scissors before, snipping here and there, as they turned their heads and generally tried to find some other place to be. That doesn't work so well.

Having decided that I had approximately 1 minute to cut each one's hair, before they started completely flipping out on me, I reached for the clippers. I have to say, I am rather impressed. I am so glad that I bought a new pair, and that the clippers came with different sized guides, that were color coded. I used a #3 on the back, and over the ears. Then I took the guide off and used them much like I would scissors, for taking a little off the top. Getting the neckline was a little tricky, since my Little Bear thought that it tickled, and kept trying to grab the clippers. Liam the Conqueror, however, wanted nothing to do with the clippers. I wanted to take it a little shorter around his ears, but I missed it and a little spot at his neckline, because he was moving around so much. He really wanted off of my lap. He cried at me a little bit, until I brought out the brush and started brushing his hair. Oh, how he loves that. One of his favorite things in the world is when he lays his head in my lap, and I stroke his hair and massage his scalp.

All in all, there are a few bits that could be straightened up a little bit, but for the most part, I am happy and content with the experience. We can go another two or three months without haircuts, just so long as I keep the hair trimmed out of their eyes. Eventually, they won't mind so much, and I wont have to rush so quickly. I really do enjoy cutting hair. I found a hairstyle that Sissy likes, and it is so soft and pretty as she grows out her hair. I realized quickly that I had to cut her hair myself, because the salon stylists cut too much off her hair, every time. Now, I get to take care of the boys, too. I like it. It makes me happy. My husband doesn't like me to cut his hair. I think that he enjoys the whole experience, and would rather go down to the Barber Shop for it. We really can't afford to do that for all of us though. My ego is soothed whenever I go to visit my grandparents, however, because my Papa has had me cut his hair while I was down there. Grandma's poor hands aren't able to comfortably use the scissors anymore, so she tolerates me cleaning him up a little bit. Since Papa is a little picky about his hair, it makes me feel good when I get it just right, and he is happy.

I know that it would probably be easier to cut the boys' hair by just cropping it all short, but I enjoy their locks so much that that would make me sad. The boys love to run across the room and snuggle against my leg, or bury their faces in my skirt, so I will stroke their hair. I like to play with their little curls and comb them, so we keep them in the "standard" boys' haircut. It also helps other people to know that they are boys. I spent some time in the surgical waiting room yesterday, and it took me a good 15 minutes to determine that the little child playing near me was a boy. His clothes were rather neutral, and he had long curly hair. Normally, that is no big deal. However, sometimes I would like to talk to a parent or a child, and not accidentally refer to them as the wrong gender. Parents can get rather easily offended if you guess wrong! lol

Oct. 16 Menu Plan

2011-10-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

Mon: Baked Chicken, Cheesy Potato, Asparagus
Tues: Kielbasa Stew
Wed: Soup, Sandwiches
Thurs: Bean Soup, Corn Muffins
Fri: Sloppy Joes, Corn, Breaded Cauliflower
Sat: Chicken and Potato crockpot stew and bread

We are having a lot of stews and soups this week, but they are so hearty that I don't see any issues with being satisfied.

Breakfasts are going to be cold cereal for Sissy, and warm wheat cereal with toast for the boys. If I can shake off my odd fatigue that has been making my mornings sluggish, I'd like to cook Sissy a hot breakfast a couple days during the week. I can quickly and easily scramble up eggs for all of my little lambs, and Sissy can make the toast. Come the weekend, I may make some pancakes or Pumpkin Oatmeal Baked Pudding.

Oct 10 - Menu Plan

2011-10-10T08:19:00.000-07:00

Having already misplaced my menu plan / grocery list once, I thought that it might be a good idea to type it out here real quick, lest I lose it again! lol I'd lose my head, if it weren't attached. Goodness.

Anyway, this is what I have planned for this week.

Monday: Cheese Ravioli w/ sauce, garlic bread

Tuesday: Salisbury Steak, mashed potatoes, buttered corn

Wednesday: Grilled Cheese sandwiches and soup

Thursday: Beef hot dogs & chips

Friday: Baked Tilapia on a bed of onion, garlic & pepper green beans, and dressing.

Sabbath: ??? (Still thinking on that one. We'll have grocery money again by then, so I might pick up something nice at the market, for dinner. If I'm too busy Friday afternoon, then we will have some chicken and dumplings from the crockpot, with some challah and butter. )

For breakfasts, the children are eating what I guess would be called a rice custard. I cooked the rice until tender, added butter, milk, a wee bit of sugar, and then tempered and added two egg yolks. It's not very sweet, but it is filling, and not oatmeal. The little lambs are becoming slightly tired of eating oatmeal every morning. I did buy a couple boxes of cereal for Sissy, in case she wanted to eat some, but she had rice this morning with her brothers, instead. Myself, I don't know that I'm up for much of a breakfast this week. I have a sinus infection, so it is all I can do to drink some coffee between trips to the tissue box. I do generally eat lunch though, after I've cleared my head a little of the morning ick.

The boys are having fish and potatoes for lunch, for a few days. I am baking them some fish and tater tots, since they enjoy feeding themselves so much. Money is tight this week, but it cost less than $1 per day to give both of them a hot lunch this way, so yay. :) I didn't buy any sweets at the grocery store, or even any baby "cookies" (I usually get the boys some kind of animal cracker or graham cracker to snack on.) Instead, I am baking homemade snacks this week. I have enough of the main staples to do this, and I think that everyone appreciates it a lot more anyway.

Since I happened to forget my grocery list at home, and I was under a time constraint, I am very happy that the only thing that I really forgot was some cheese. Oops. Hopefully, we have enough cheese in the fridge for our grilled cheese sandwiches. If not, I guess we'll have buttered and grilled toast with our soup. We have a little leftover luncheon meat that I sliced up yesterday, for sandwiches. So, we can sub that in there, if needed.

Oct. 3 Menu Plan

2011-10-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

Being poor didn't matter so much,
when there was enough love to
fill ya up.

Monday: Bean Soup and cornbread

Tuesday: Broccoli Cheese soup and homemade rolls

Wednesday: Tuna Helper, green beans, mashed potatoes, and rolls

Thursday: The experimental Spam sandwich and soup
(Sissy is so funny. She said that she wanted to know what Spam was, and what it tasted like. I grew up eating Spam every so often, back in the days when we got gov't food with pictures of pigs or peaches on the labels. lol I'll fry a little up for her, and she can have a Spam sandwich, like I used to have when I was younger.)

Friday: Blueberry pancakes and eggs

As you may be noticing, it's a rather lean menu this week. I don't know that it will look much better for next week either. It's the price we pay for splurging on a bed, so I'll just smile and eat my beans while knowing that I have a nice bed ... and I won't feel like I'm sagging through to the floor. lol It is what it is though, and everyone is getting fed. We will also be snacking on some fruit, and the last of the cherry tomatoes from the garden. I'm thinking that making a pumpkin pie might lift everyone's spirits a bit, especially since I have everything I need in the pantry already. :)

Daybook: September 26, 2011

2011-09-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

I'm Sleepy. Everything else can wait.

Outside My Window...
Rain, rain, and more rain. What a soggy day.

I am thinking...
... that I need to try and sort through the last boxes and bags in my bedroom. I just don't know where my motivation is to get it done. Hmm. I think that I'll blame it on the rain.

I am thankful for...
Opportunities and resources for learning things that are of great interest to me. :)

From the learning rooms...
Since Sissy is now going to public school, and the boys are too young for any structured schooling, I'll use this space for sharing what we are learning and studying in the Scriptures.

Deuteronomy 32:1-32:52 | 2 Samuel 22:1-51 | John 20:26-21:25

From the kitchen...
Evening Meal:
Roasted chicken, rice pilaf, and California Medley vegetables.

I am wearing...
I have on my seafoam green dress with a coordinating top that looks like it might be a dark teal. (I'm not great with naming colors. lol)

I am creating...
Clean spaces? I'm not feeling very creative, of late. I am hoping to eventually crochet some "sock" type slippers, for my boys. They aren't really for them to be walking around in, but would be to help keep their feet warm when we have to take Sis to school through the winter.

I am going...
...just up to school to get our girl child. The weather is too nasty to bother with any other outtings.

I am reading...
My brain cells are taking a break from any heavy reading. I'm going to read the Scriptures, and other than that, I'm watching some videos at Wisdom in Torah.

On my mind...
Thinking about retirement funds, and such.
Around the house...
Today is "Laundry Day", so that is what I'm doing. Other than that, I just try to keep up with the house enough that it doesn't look like the fridge and the toy box both exploded in the house. That takes a rather large output of energy.

One of my favorite things...
Having organized paperwork. I'm just goofy like that. Files, folders, staples, and clipboards make me oddly happy.
A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:
We have an appointment with Sissy's teacher, principal, and someone from Special Education Services on Wednesday. That is our main concern this week.

Favorite Baby Items (Year 1)

2011-09-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to compile a list of some of the baby "stuff" that I have enjoyed the most during the first year of my twins' lives. I don't know that anyone else is going to give a hoot about what *I* have found helpful, but you never know! :)

Sleep Sacks

Love sleep sacks. When little babies are too small to safely snuggle up in a blanket, sleep sacks are wonderful. There are no cold baby legs during the middle of the night, even if you are getting up every ten minutes to check on them. (Makes me yawn, just thinking about it. lol )

Baby Legs

I know, I know. They make sleep sacks without arms on purpose. Can't have baby getting too warm, can we? Um.. how about during the middle of winter? Cold baby arms and hands. Since our twins were rather small during the winter, we used socks as mitts, and then pulled Baby Legs over their arms. They stayed nice and snuggly, and if we found that they were getting too warm, it was very easy to peel their "sleeves" off. We also used Baby Legs over their PJ's, while the boys were playing on the floor, because it helped keep them from getting chilly, and it also helped to keep their feet inside the PJ feet. That let us put them in clothes that were a wee bit too big, but was all we had at the time.

Now that the boys are more mobile, we still love the Baby Legs. Now, they are helping us get through the weird temperature changes, as fall flirts with us every morning. They also do a great job of protecting little baby knees, as Littles are crawling and falling down, and even for keeping legs from getting scratched while playing in the grass.

Boogin Head Pacifier Holder

One of my boys sucks his thumb, and that can't get lost. However, my other son has a binky addiction. We have lost binkies everywhere, and now that he is older, he doesn't just drop them. It's like a new, fun game. He waits for just the right crazy moment, and then THROWS his binkie across the aisle at the grocery store. These straps have saved me some sanity, and I sure to miss them when I forget to grab one before we go out.

Thirsties Diaper Wrap

These are my favorite diaper covers. While snaps are convenient, I don't know that I love the way that those covers fit, when compared to the single-size covers with the Aplix. I have boys who are shaped very differently from one another, and the Aplix tabs are the best for a great fit. However, the covers with the snaps are a little softer, and snaps are much harder for my sneaky son to undo on his own. The "duo" covers are nice for when the Littles have been between sizes, or when they were taking more milk during the day. With heavy-wetters, I had to put extra absorbency in the diapers, so it was nice to be able to "let out" the cover a bit to allow for extra fluff. Now that my boys are in the "Large" size, we've made the switch to the single-size cover again, because they are slightly larger than the duo covers.

Green Mountain Pre-Folds

These are the best Prefolds that I could find, and they are great. I still have our 'small' size diapers, because they make super burp cloths, changing pads, impromptu blankets, ... oh, and diapers. :) I like using fitted diapers, because they don't frighten off my husband. However, when I needed to supplement our diaper supply without spending much money, a dozen "Large" GM prefolds saved the day. They are so soft and absorbent, and they don't take forever to dry.

Snappis

I was a little "iffy" about Snappis at first, but that was because I was all thumbs. When the boys were younger, trying to get a prefold on them felt like I was trying to wrap them in a diaper... with my feet. Now that I'm more comfortable with cloth diapers, both prefolds and flats (I really can fold now!), Snappis are GREAT. I have no problem with pins, but my husband doesn't like them. He pokes himself taking them off, let alone trying to pin one on. So, Snappis have saved the day, and his fingers.

Green Mountain "Workhorse" Diapers

These are my favorite diapers. Can I say that again? These are my FAVORITE diapers. These fitted diapers are made from the GM prefolds, which I love all on their own. You can visit the link to see more of the detail about them, if you like. I enjoy the fact that they are all cotton, every bit of them is absorbent, there is the sewn in doubler, the snaps are great and I haven't had any break, and my husband seems to like them. When it came time to buy the boys some new diapers, a while back, my husband asked that I specifically buy more of these, in the next size up. That's saying something. I like that they catch poo well. I like that they stay up, nice and snug. That makes it very easy to put away the plastic pants and use something even more comfortable and breathable.

Wool Diaper Covers

I want to say a friendly "hello!!!" to my favorite woolie shop, "Three Happy Trees", on etsy. Wool covers are so nice. If you haven't tried woolie bottoms, you should give it a try! Wool pants are very soft against the baby's tummy and legs. They cover the diaper, to keep things dry, but they are also absorbent themselves. I'm sure that our woolie bottoms have bought me an extra few minutes to get a fresh diaper on a boy, instead of having leaks all over. (Remember, we have those heavy wetters.) The woolies are great over a fitted diaper, or a Snappi'ed or pinned diaper. I know that some people are intimidated by the care that wool needs, but it really isn't bad. I toss mine in the washing machine, on my "hand wash" cycle, and then hang them on my line to dry. To be completely honest, I don't lanolize my woolies as often as I think you are *supposed* to, but I haven't had any leak problems at all.

Super Yard

Having multiples, we realized something very quickly. We were either going to have to carry two of everything with us, or we were going to have to do things a little differently. Instead of buying a second play yard, we invested in the Super Yard, and bought the extra two panels in the extension kit. This as been one of the single-most useful items we've bought. When the boys started rolling more and crawling, we used the yard as a play area, so I could do things like... use the bathroom. That's one of the joys of being alone with two wee babes, who enjoy scooting, crawling, and running in opposite directions. Once the boys grew a bit and started crawling around, we attached the play yard to the large opening between our living room and kitchen, to keep the boys in their "safe" areas. What we like about the yard is that instead of just being a gate, we can carry it outside and give the Littles a place to play, a place to coral their toys, or even a place where they can hang out without being trampled on by the bigger kids. It has been a real lifesaver when traveling, and especially when we visit someone's house that is not 'baby safe'.

Baby Food Processor

My standard blender just wouldn't cut it. Doc wanted us to give the boys more solid food, in addition to their breastmilk, but my blender wouldn't make a fine puree. So, I invested in a rather cheap baby food processor, and it was just fine until I accidentally melted it in my dishwasher. Oops. I just do these silly sort of things. I was sad to see it go, but at least I didn't kill it until my boys were big enough for chunkier food. Anyway, these "upside down" processors are great for getting a fine puree.

Food Mill

After killing the baby food processor, I just moved to putting the boys' meals through a standard food mill. I found it better to go for the larger mill, that has the two dull "blades". There are smaller ones that have just one "blade" side, but it takes far too long to process the food, and it doesn't do a real good job. After the food mill, we were able to move right into finger foods.

Playtex Lil Gripper Straw Trainer Cup

At around 8 months, my boys decided that they hated taking a bottle. So, we had to switch to primarily using sippy cups, but the Playtex Lil Gripper cup with the straw is the only cup that they like. We tried all different styles of sippies, and this one was the easiest for them to use. They didn't have to have the upper body strength to hold the cup UP.

I am sure that I will think of other things that we've used quite a bit, or loved a lot. For not though, this is the list. :)

The Messies

2011-09-12T07:55:00.000-07:00

My new favorite blog to read is "A Slob Comes Clean", which I find highly amusing. See, while I am not naturally a slob, I have to admit that there are times when cleaning up after other messies just wears on me. There are times when I am so tempted to let the house degrade into what would probably be "TLC Hoarders" status in no time, flat. I just get... tired. Grumpy.

Ah, well, I'm not complaining about my family. I'm just saying that it is rather exhausting, trying to keep up with everyone. My husband is a lost cause, I'm sure. After nearly 11 years of marriage, I know that it's just not worth sharp words and bickering over. Really, it's not. I know that some 'clean freak' people would probably cringe, and maybe even throw up in their mouths a little over the idea. Still, a clean house doesn't tell you that it loves you, or gives you hugs and kisses. My husband does both of those things, usually as a way of wiping the sad face off of me, after I've had to pull his dirty socks out from between a baby's teeth. It's kind of funny, but in a very gross way.

I sure do love that slobby site though. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one looking at a sink that was clean in the morning, but looks like the whole kitchen exploded all over it by dinner time. Add to that a child with such severe ADHD that she struggles to do the most simple of household chores, and twin toddlers. Well, it's me. It's all me, all the time. Sissy will get the hang of the chores at some point, and the boys will get big enough to start helping out too. I'm pretty sure that by the time that all the kids are nearing double-digit ages, I should have FAR less work to do. Um... that's just because I'm bossy. By that point, I feel that I will have earned the right to delegate work out to them. I'll just keep the jobs that I find more enjoyment in, or that would save us from wreaked clothes or a burned-down house.

That is what I really enjoy about the internet. It is easier to find people who are dealing with similar craziness, and it can be very edifying and motivating. Instead of banging my head against the wall, I can get an update that someone has today as their laundry day, and it makes me think that today would make a very nice laundry day for myself also! It also reminds me that I don't have to get everything done in one day, so I don't feel like such a failure when I go to bed at night, and I'm tripping over half-eaten bagels and legos. (Because we obviously haven't turned the dog loose in the front room yet. It's his job to clean up the food that the babies leave. I'll vacuum the crumbs. He gets the chunks. That's why we tolerate his poop in the yard.) Even though there are toys peeking out from under the edge of the sofa, I'll know that all of the laundry is clean, and none of my loved ones have to to out to work or school looking like dirty slobs... unless they want to. That is their own deal, and they won't be able to blame it on me. hehe. Tomorrow can be "dig all of the toys out of strange places day". :)

Attack of the Mommy: Laundry

2011-08-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

I have been on the war path lately, when it comes to "stuff". I keep finding myself thinking, "If only I had two washers and two dryers, maybe I could stay caught-up on the laundry." Ha. Really?

I have two babies in cloth diapers. That is Fantasy Land right there, folks. I don't know what I was thinking.

Anyway, it has had me doing a lot of thinking about clothes. I ponder and research how much clothing other families get by on. I look at the clothes that sit in the bottoms of the the drawers, never worn. I have no idea what they sit there, because they look like perfectly fine articles of clothing to me. Still, it happens. Maybe my husband doesn't like it when I buy him t-shirts with funny sayings / pictures on them. I don't know. That's a good possibility. Sissy, she's really not into all of the flashy tops and dresses that some of our relatives like to give her. If she can't flop in a totally unladylike way without fear of flashing things that should remain private, then she doesn't want to wear it. We tried that whole "sit nicely, cross legs, don't hang upside-down off the sofa' thing, and it didn't work so great. We had better just stick with good coverage, and plenty of wash 'n wear cotton.

In an effort to strangle the Laundry Monster into submission, I've been going through our drawers and laundry baskets to try and pick out all of the stuff that needs to find a new home. Much will be donated. Some will go to the trash. Oooo.... but I did find a couple of my husband's undershirts that I would try making into t-shirt "yarn". He gets the strangest holes in his shirts, things that I just can't sew back into any semblance of "normal".

I've trimmed myself down to 5 daily wear outfits, and an extra shirt that I couldn't make myself put in the storage bin. Extras are getting stored in the basement for now, just to be sure that I'm not cutting us TOO short on clothing. We can "shop" from the bins if we need to. If we haven't used the clothing in a year, it will be put into a donation bag. Sure, the Salvation Army will probably want to just throw our stuff away, but at least I'll be kind and give them the opportunity to make a couple dollars... maybe. It is rather sad that even though we have a lot of clothes, it's not that we are addicted to acquiring new items. Most of our stuff is given to us second-hand. So, by the time that we finish wearing it for a decade or so, they really are done. I think that the most positive thing about purging our clothes is that it will give us a better opportunity to carefully add in fresh new clothes that are actually bright and in good repair.

I am trying to make headway with Sissy's clothing, but it is like pulling teeth. I may have to do like I did when she was little, and I needed her room cleaned. I locked her out of the room, and I just took a trash bag in and wiped out everything that I couldn't make tidy. I've always allowed her to keep her most sentimental things, but that doesn't mean that she needed to keep every scrap corner of paper. She is so much like her father, in that, and I worry that without my help, they might degenerate into hoarders. (I'm half joking, mind you.)

Thankfully, my husband lives in a uniform, so he doesn't need all that much. With a couple outfits for getting stupendously filthy in, and a couple of outfits to get him through the weekends, he's good. He's also not tremendously picky, so some neat and clean t-shirts and a couple of simple solid-color sweaters are good.

So, if we don't need that much, and we don't vary our clothing all that much- why is it so hard to keep a handle on all of the laundry clutter? I have no idea. I'm just hoping that this makes it better.

Pushing On Through

2011-08-22T09:56:00.000-07:00

Last night was quite rough. My poor boys both have colds, and it is making all of us rather miserable. Instead of resting last night, my husband spent the first hours of the evening primarily in the nursery, watching over the little guys.

Peanut became sick first, and now seems to be feeling a little better. I was thanking God for that small mercy last night, while I was taking care of Little Bear. Once DH decided that he had to come to bed, I got up to take the "night shift", sitting up with Bear.

One of the difficult things about having two babies at the same time is that if you upset one, he generally tends to wake up the other. Then you have two crying babies, which makes it that much harder to soothe them both. So, I was very, very careful while *trying* to use the nasal suction bulb to clear Bear's nose. He hates that thing, and fights and cries at me if he even sees it. I think that it is just uncomfortable, having something trying to steal your breath and possibly irritating the inside of your nose. I didn't have a lot of success, so Bear and I spent most of the night in a chair, so he could lay against my chest and work some of the congestion out of his sinuses. I tried some things with him that I tend to do for myself, to help break things loose. I massaged his cheekbones as firmly as he would allow, and firmly patted his forehead with the palm of my hand. It seemed to help, and after a little bit of coughing and sneezing, he was breathing just a wee bit better. I did try to lay him down a couple of times, during which I think that I got about a hour of sleep during the night.

Peanut actually worried me, because he was sleeping so well. I've gotten use to his restless sleeping, because he is teething rather badly, on top of having a cold. When I checked on him throughout the night, he seemed to be breathing just fine. He also wasn't moving around at all. I had to go in and rub his back and talk to him to wake him up this morning, after waiting until 10 o'clock in the morning. He woke up quite chipper, and didn't seem to be feeling bad. Yay! I don't know if this will be chalked up as one lucky night for this Mama, or whether the teething is letting up. I can see the molar that he's been working on very clearly now. I look forward to him being able to sleep and to eat, without crying in pain. It is interesting that while Peanut is in so much discomfort when teething, we really can't tell when Little Bear is cutting teeth. It might have something to do with his constant desire to bite everything and everyone. I sometimes feel like I live with a little shark. Sometimes he gives me a bump, sometimes a test-nibble, and at other times he exercises his full bite on the most tender spots.

Sissy was a great help this morning. She got Little Bear out of bed, changed his diaper, and gave him some dry cereal this morning. That gave me a little time to shake the cobwebs out of my head. After I got up and moving in a less zombified fashion, I fed the boys some fruit and cereal, and took Sissy up to school. I was finally able to get a hold of the principal, and we went down there to fill out the paperwork to have her officially registered for school. So, with all of that done, we should be able to stop by there in just over a week to find out who her 5th grade teacher is going to be.

Decorating and All...

2011-08-17T11:53:00.000-07:00

So, I have decided that when we get back from our vacation, I am decorating our bedroom. You know, it is the shabbiest room in the house, because we grownups somehow decided that our own comfort wasn't as important as taking care off the children. That is not to say that the kids will get less, but that I think that I should have a room where the wallis finished being repaired, since it had been something like 3 or 4 years since those darned carpenter ants got in our wall and wreaked havoc.

This is just going to be my little project. I plan on pulling our mattress into the living room for about a week or so, so I can take up the carpet and paint, probably not in that order. I am done with the carpet, and will instead pick up a couple of warm rugs for the floor. They don't need to be much of anything, just a place to put my feet down as I hunt for my slippers during the winter. (You know, they always find a way to wiggle under the bed somehow.)

While I can manage some things right away, it will take me a little longer to save up for a new bed. I am going to work on getting the new frame first, and then maybe we can pick out a bed set once our income tax return comes in. We need to get Sissy a new mattress too, since part of the metal support for the springs broke. I found a way to keep it from poking out and bothering her, but there is no overlooking the need to shop for a new mattress.

There is still a lot of planning to do first. I still need to figure out what color scheme will be the most restful for us. Our living room is a light blue. The kitchen is a bright yellow. Oh, and my husband hates wallpaper, so that probably isn't an option at all. I think that my best bet is to find a painting that I think is lovely for the room, and just pick colors out of it. If anyone has any suggestions for some beautiful art for my bedroom, show me! I would love to see what you have come up with. :)

To Stop & Kneel

2011-08-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

I found this to be rather touching.

Something Lovely for the Morning

2011-08-09T07:45:00.001-07:00

Something Lovely for the Morning

2011-08-08T06:56:00.000-07:00

8.5.2011

2011-08-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

Busy, Busy

2011-08-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

We have so much to do, and a relatively small time to get it done in. There is a street fair running right now, and I'd love to take the kids over there to walk around and oggle everything. However, I'm trying to be responsible, so I'm going to stay at home and work in the house a bit. I've also got shopping to do, when I can work out the right time to squeeze it in between the boys' naps.

I'm not concerned about having the house spotless and the fridge empty, since my sister and her family are coming to house-sit for us. They will be able to use any bread and milk that we have left, when we leave for our vacation. So, I just have general cleaning to get done, along with packing us all up and organizing our time. Ah, if only making time for all of our tasks was as easy as filling suitcases!

My dear husband has it in mind to make a number of small repairs to our vehicle, including replacement pads for the brakes, fixing the brake light that just burned out, fixing the wheel bearing on the trailer that he said sounds bad, fixing the cracks in the cargo box on the trailer, and finally- putting some reflector pole thingies on the trailer so he can actually see where it is while driving. He finds it rather bothersome to not be able to tell where the thing is, behind the van. We joke though, that any "fixes" we make to the trailer might be very temporary. Papa likes trailers so much that the men might play around with it while we are vacationing, and we might come home with something completely different. Hehehe.

We've never towed a trailer to Tennessee before, but my husband feels quite comfortable with it, since he is usually carting one around with his work truck. We were going to purchase a rooftop luggage back to put our suitcases in, so we could keep our baggage away from the children. Not only would it keep everything out of the way, but it would open up room in the back of the van where I could change the babies' diapers. (I still find myself wanting to call them babies, though I guess they are actually toddlers now. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head and heart around that one. lol ) Then, there is our concern about any projectiles inside the cab of the vehicle, know what I mean? DH wants to bring some tools to move Papa's air conditioner from one side of his house to the other, and he doesn't want the tools flying around Littles, if we were to have any kind of accident.

So, while DH is out, working on the mechanical stuff, everything else falls into my realm. I get to pick up around the house, wash up the laundry, pack the bags, prepare food for the road, mow the lawn, tend the garden, and do any shopping that has to get done. It makes me tired to just think about it. lol Today is the day that it all starts though. It won't be too bad. Plus, after all of the exhausting stuff is done, we will have plenty of time to rest and relax. We'll fill our days with good things.

We'll wake up and drink our hot beverages with my mom, uncle, and grandparents. Coffee for them, tea for us.

We will splash in the pool with the children.

Mama and I will cook meals that we've all been too busy or too tired to make in a long time, and we'll feast.

We'll sit out on the swing and just watch all of the little things, like the bees flying around Grandma's flowers, or the little deer that Papa said is visiting these days.

We'll visit the dinosaur museum, just to make Sissy happy.

I'll get to go swimming at night with the man that I love, after the babies are in bed. It's nice to just float around, watching the stars, and that little bat that flitters around, eating mosquitoes. Love that bat. lol

We'll all lounge around the living room at night- watching movies, playing video games, reading, etc.

While washing dishes, I can watch the birds in the yard, instead of counting the seams in my neighbor's siding.

I can spend ALL DAY, seeing my husband's handsome face. I can even talk to him without having to pick up the phone. I can go to bed at a normal time, instead of staying up until it is past midnight, because I wanted to spend time with my husband.

I can definitely throw my daughter into the pool, because I know that she's going to try and dunk me every time that I forget to watch where she is.

I'm going to enjoy talking with my Papa, the last person on earth who would get frustrated with me if I don't hear every word that he says. lol

It's all good. :)

The Cardiologist & Marfans

2011-07-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

So, we took Sissy to the cardiologist this afternoon. Her specialist was concerned, after evaluating her, believing that she saw markers for Marfans Syndrome. For instance, she is incredibly skinny and TALL, to the point that her peds doc said that for her age and height, she was completely off the chart. There were other things though, like her above average flexibility, her long digits (she can wrap her hand around her wrist and touch her thumb and pinky together), she is flat footed, she has some eyesight issues, and possibly the "abnormally" high pitch of her voice.

Since Marfans is a connective tissue disorder that ofttimes affects the heart, Dr. Y wanted to be on the safe side, especially since she had concerns about giving any ADHD medications to a child who might have some abnormality in her heart.

Anyway...

I am so glad that my husband was able to take us Downtown, to Children's Hospital. I had driven there before, but I am terrible inside buildings. Yes. I am that Rufus who gets lost EVERYWHERE. All of the corridors look the same to me, and I get turned around real easy. (It is so frustrating, and it makes me a bit angry with myself.) Even with DH's help, we still had to stop and ask someone for help in finding the right place.

Have I mentioned how insane our insurance makes me? I had done everything that I knew to do, but found out that we needed authorization from the insurance company before before they would see Sissy. After talking with the wonderful folks at the desk, the kind lady there made some phone calls for me. The doctors office couldn't say if there was any need for the authorization. She called the insurance, and they didn't even know if they were in contract with the doctor, or even the hospital. After some time on hold though, everything was ironed out. They had updated the provider database, so that is how I found the doc. Somewhere along the line though, there was a lack of good info. I didn't need the authorization. The doc was covered. All I had to do was pay the co-pay.

Sissy had an EKG first, and I was surprised by how fast it was. The woman who was running the test had only just gotten the electrodes on, and then we were all done. We went into another room and Sissy had an echocardiogram, which she found to be rather uncomfortable. Because she is so skinny, it hurt a bit when the tech had to press the wand between her ribs. Ah, and she really disliked when the wand had to be pressed at the base of her throat. It was at that point when Sis started acting in that "special" way that she has, and I had to try and settle her down. I've seen the "Be patient, I am autistic" type t-shirts before, but there isn't something like that for whatever it is that Sissy is dealing with. Oh, the joys of not having a diagnosis. So many people just love Sis to pieces, and she has been referred to as their "special angel" quite a few times. It sounds sweet, but it doesn't help explain to medical staff why my 10 year old tends to act more like she is 5 years old, and is difficult when scared or uncomfortable.

Anyway, with a little support, and a promise of a special treat later, I got her to stay still long enough for them to finish the test. After a quick exam from the actual cardiologist, and her perusal of the images, we were all set to head home.

The doc said that if she were told to pick out the kid with Marfans from a group, Sissy would be her girl. She can see why Doc. Y was concerned. At this point, Sissy has a beautiful and healthy heart. There are no signs of anything abnormal at all. We were told that sometimes heart issues don't pop up until later on. We can't take her healthy heart as a sign that she DOESN'T have Marfans. Instead, she thinks that we should see a geneticist, to be sure or not.

All in all though, the cardiologist said that she doesn't see any reason why Sissy couldn't take ADHD medications, if that was what we decided on, with Dr. Y. Next, we see the Opthalmologist on August 1st. If he says that her eyes are just what we should expect, coming from such a nearsighted mama and glasses-wearing papa, then we might just leave the Marfans stuff alone for a while. We aren't sure that we even have coverage for a geneticist, and it is awfully spendy for something that she MIGHT have, but isn't affecting anything real important right now. With there not being a cure and all, it isn't like we are racing against a clock, and Sissy appears to be very healthy. The cardiologist thinks that we will be fine, and that it would be sufficient to come in for a checkup in a year or two, depending on how any genetic testing turned out.

Week #1

2011-07-25T17:08:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, one week has gone by. I'm here to put up my numbers, for accountability. I'll be doing this every Sunday or Monday, depending on when I get a chance to sit down and type out an update. :)

This week has been just a wee bit stressful, but not unpleasant. There has been a lot going on, and some of that included some cake and ice cream. All in all, I've done well though. According to Fitday, my weekly goal is to lose 1.12 lbs, which is such a small amount of weight that I find it slightly embarrassing to even bother put it up here. However, losing 1.12 lbs. per week will have my "baby weight" off over the course of a year. That will give me plenty of opportunity to lock in the good habits that I need, and shrug off the bad ones that I've picked up.

Oh, obviously, I can lose more weight, if I decide to buckle down and work harder. This is just a good starting point, something attainable, even when I feel insanely unable to do the right thing. This week, my number is better, with 5 lbs. lost. Yay. :)

Sometime soon, I will have to start adding in purposeful exercise. I don't feel ready for that yet though, with having somehow injured my right arm. It's such a bummer. I think that I pulled a tendon, or something like that. It is hard to leave it alone and heal, since my right arm is my dominant arm. I am holding out hope that if I try my hardest to be careful, maybe it will feel better in time for our family vacation. My grandparents have a nice swimming pool, and I've always enjoyed swimming as a way to relax and get a wee bit of exercise. I may not burn many calories with the way that I swim, but at least it means that I'm not sitting around eating junk food, you know? :)

In the meantime, I am going to make an effort to get some walking in. With the terribly hot temperatures that we've had lately, it hasn't been all that safe to take the children out for a walk. However, it will be cooling off a little bit in a few days, at least into more normal temps. I'd like to start taking the babies for a walk in the evenings, before they go to bed. I have a 5k route marked out, and I know that my husband would enjoy walking it with us. It can be a family treat, when the weather permits.

I Have 5 Children

2011-07-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, our twins will officially be a year old, and it is such a happy time. There was so much worry and fear, and trying to put on that brave face while pregnant with them. I had thought that being pregnant was such a terrifying prospect, until the doctor said that it was twins. Then, I realized that my concept of anxiety was nothing compared to what it could be.

I'd love to be able to say that I've learned so many lessons about trusting in the Lord, and not worrying. Maybe one day I will get there. I haven't seen that day yet. I think that the people who say, "Oh, if it's God's will...." haven't had to put their children in the ground, and bury a piece of their heart with them. That's not to say that I've ever stopped loving the Lord, or praising him. I just stopped trying to put my finger on what what is his will, and what causes him to feel that pain right alongside of me. God knows, I'm certainly not the first parent to lose children. He knows how terrible it feels.

I have been so greatly blessed. We came from a place that lacked even the smallest hope. We had struggled to even find the heart to choose names for our twins, because we didn't know how to deal with the fear of what we felt was an almost certain repeat experience, laying our children into the ground and praying that Father has made a way for them. There were many joyous tears on the day that Peanut and Little Bear were born. The impossible had been made possible. The miracle was ours, thanks to Father, and the help of a caring team of doctors and nurses. It gave me the sense that I could breathe again.

As we celebrate the gift of life that we have, a blessed year of being parents to these beautiful boys, I am reminded of our boys who never got a chance to bury their fingers into birthday cake. It is just a quiet thing in the back of my mind, that slight shadow behind my eyes. We don't have 3 children. We have 5. It is the greatest hope in my heart that when my heart has beat it's last, and there is no more breath in my body, Trystin and Ezzie will be there to greet me at the door and welcome me home. I am gloriously happy to share this life with Sissy, Little Bear, and Peanut. They make my days happy and full. I haven't forgotten my other sons though. I miss them. It's always there in the background, how I wish to kiss their faces and wrap my arms around them. I am storing up so much love to pour out all over them. How greatly blessed, I am. I have such treasures here on Earth, and so much bounty stored up in Heaven. All praises and thanks to my Father.

Garden Update

2011-07-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

I should probably entitle this "...and the squash took over everything". hehe. :) It would be incredibly accurate.

Well, let's see. At the front of the house, we have a pumpkin plant, from where a squirrel started eating Sissy's Halloween pumpkin. Thank you, Mr. Squirrel. Because of your deeds, we should have our own pumpkin to decorate this fall, and without having spent any money on it. If we have enough of them, I may even make my first pumpkin pie from scratch. At this time though, I've only been able to find one baby pumpkin on the vine. That's not to say that there won't be more, since we still have blooms on the plant. We will see. I'll keep looking.

On the front fence, we have some poor green bean. I do mean one green bean. lol I had another one on there, but it looks as though the dog ate it off the vine. You see, I would have many more green beans, except that the puppy won't leave the plants alone, and has trampled many of the beans and about 80% of our sunflowers. Oh well. I've learned my lesson. We won't be feasting on green beans this summer. Maybe we can split one or two, just for the sake of saying that we did. Next year, I will plant them far, far away from any marauding puppies.

After the beans, I guess we run into the green peppers next. I learned this year that that first few feet of my garden doesn't get enough sun. It is being shaded by the house during the morning, and that cuts us a little short. Oops. So, my green pepper plants are rather small, and they aren't producing yet. I am hoping that they will eventually come along. Maybe. Maybe not. We will see.

The banana pepper plants are next to them, and they were rather slow also. Still, they are getting bigger and looking heartier. We still don't have any produce, but it looks like it won't be too far off. I'm not going to be bothered much either way, about the banana peppers. I just put them in for my husband, thinking that he might like some.

The carrots are nice and bushy. I don't know if that means that they are growing well or not. I can only assume, having never grown them before. I feel anxious to dig them up and see what they look like, though I will leave them alone anyway. They are probably stubby little things that are only good for a bite, and if that is the only thing that they will be, I'll still manage to be quite proud.

Next is the broccoli, and it is growing rather tall and strong. I don't see any flower stalks yet, but I don't know how long they usually take to form. The plants look big and healthy though, so I am hoping that we get a decent haul from the few plants that I have. I only put one row in.

The cauliflower is looking rather pitiful, but not all of the seeds sprouted, I don't think. Plus, there just happens to be a stump in the yard, right in their row. Anyway, we have a few plants, and they look to be doing alright. Like the broccoli though, I don't see anything that looks like produce. I am going to just keep watching it.

Oh, I forgot the lettuce. :) We planted head lettuce, just because we like it. The lettuce is getting nice and bushy, and is actually starting to look like it might form a head. It makes me rather hungry to look at those pale green leaves. Num, num, num...

Cabbage is growing very well, though we are having some problems with the garden, starting with that row. Crazy grass is trying to take over parts of my garden, and I can't seem to pull it out without risking major damage to the roots of my vegetables. I have tried to keep up on it, but it is growing out of control. I just keep doing the best that I can, and hoping that the veggies are maturing fast enough that they start to shade out any pesky grass. The cabbage is starting to form heads, and I can practically taste it, swimming in a hot pot with corned beef and some of those stubby carrots.

After the cabbage, there is a riot of squash. I am not joking. I nearly expect it to start growing over the house. There is squash everywhere. I have a wee patch of yellow squash and zucchini over by the fence, and they are looking mighty pretty. I can see wee veggies growing amongst the weeds, though they are small. The acorn squash is a beast, spreading nearly as fast as the bindweed that is fighting to strangle everything. I anticipate that the acorn squash harvest is going to be great this fall. I will have to cook it and freeze it, if I want to use it all, I think. We already have acorn squash that are the size of my fist.

The last row is for watermelon, and it is being horribly tangled by the bindweed. I keep trying to tear the bindweed off, but I have to be incredibly careful now. I see plenty of tiny little watermelons on the vine.

Along the fence, I also have some cherry tomato plants, and they are covered with flowers. Half of them fell into the partially shaded area of the yard, that I didn't realize wasn't getting enough sun. Those plants are a little smaller, but not terribly behind the rest. I have hope that they will just produce a little later, so we'll have tomatoes longer.

Friendly Faces

2011-07-21T21:11:00.000-07:00

Just so you know... it feels nice to be able to say to my husband, "my friends." Maybe this is something that other married folks can understand. It's been a long time since I've had friends to talk to, or who would want to set aside a piece of their day to sit down and have a cup of coffee with me. Yup. It's nice. I'm just sayin'... :o )

The Game Plan

2011-07-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been real good, at least much easier than I thought that they were going to be. I would say that in making dietary changes, I struggle the most during the first three weeks. After that, it isn't so bad.

My first official weigh-in is on Sunday morning, and we'll see how much water I've been able to wring out of myself. lol So far, I am up to 4 1/2 lbs. lost, which I am sure is mainly water. I don't care though. I'll take it.

My husband and I are both trying to maintain a rather low carb count when we put together our meals. I wouldn't consider it an actual "low carb" diet, since we are eating around 100g of carbohydrates each day. However, it is much better than what we had been eating. DH suggested this, after he woke up one Saturday morning and chased a couple of donuts with some chocolate milk, for breakfast. He realized that while it was oh so yummy, it wasn't good for him, and it made him feel like poo. I'm a little sheepish to admit that I was a little slow getting up my enthusiasm. I think that it has more to do with the extra work that it will cause me, trying to get to the store for fresh produce a couple times per week. I should be doing it anyway, really, but I've been struggling to get my act together while hauling around all of the children.

I am going to be a good girl though, and I'll work out how to get the right foods into the house so we can eating the way that we need to. I am sure that there are going to be days when our numbers are all over the place, but we aren't under any time crunch. For my basic weight loss goal, I have given myself a year to get where I feel more comfortable. It works out to just barely over 1 lb. per week. That should give me plenty of wiggle room to work out the kinks, make it through holidays, and not become discouraged. By that time, the boys will be two years old, and we will be able to do SO many new things together. Working off a few pounds here and there won't be so hard then. Plus, I will be able to move around more easily without this "baby weight" hanging onto me.

It does feel good to be making up my mind to really get going with this. I was quietly sad on the inside, watching the number on the scale going up, after I had worked so hard to become thinner. It's not that I have these unrealistic goals or anything, but there is something to be said for all of the positive aspects of being a healthy weight and strong to boot. It would be so wonderful to be able to carry around two toddlers, and not feel like my back was going to shatter, or that my knees were being powderized. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, having to start all over again, I need to just own it and get a move on. :)

So, anyway, this basically what we are doing. We are cutting out much of the sweets, though it is unrealistic to say "all". My Love still enjoys a bit of sugar in his tea from time to time, and once in a while there is some birthday cake that just calls our names. That's life. For the most part though, very little sugar will be eaten.

Of course, being lumped in with sugar, we have all of the other white foods and general yummy things that I feel a wee bit sad to not have. Goodbye oodles of beautiful bread with honeybutter. Maybe I can just have one small slice on the Sabbath, as a treat, once in a while. We're cutting WAY back on bread, white potatoes, white rice, and pastas. This will be tough, just because these things are pretty much the staples of a "poor man's diet". When we've had to stretch a meal, it has been easy to put on an extra potato, or slice up some more bread for the table. With food prices being what they are, and promising to go even higher, I can see that this will take some special planning. Still, it will all work out well and be worth it. My Love and I will feel so much better, and we'll need the better health in order to keep up with the children. :)

Dragons or Dinosaurs

2011-07-19T18:59:00.000-07:00

Sissy is always on the hunt for the next documentary that she is going to devour, and today she picked "Dragons or Dinosaurs". She was positively surprised by the show, and enjoyed it very much. Sis just loves everything about dinosaurs, so it gives her a little trouble to try and mesh what she believes is the truth of God's word with what she is taught in science. I kept to my own tasks, since I had plenty of dishes to wash up, and I just listened to the program while doing chores. Sis did ask my opinion on a couple of matters, but I tried to just leave her to make up her own mind about things, since she has done so much reading and watching of educational programs.

All in all, I believe that what she saw helped her to round out her own understanding of what history says, what it doesn't say, and what is ultimately important about any/all of it. It sure didn't hurt that there were plenty of dinosaur graphics for her to look at, and the gentlemen who were being interviewed during the film weren't *too* wordy and long-winded. There were a couple points where I thought for sure that she was going to start wandering off and goofing around, but because the topic itself interested her, she even made it through the occasional dry spot. :)

Back to the Gym

2011-07-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of walking lately, and it is very good for me. Catching up on the laundry, and carrying it up and down the stairs, that's been a bit more challenging.

Goodness, it has been a couple of rather painful days, and I've been pouting over crooked legs a bit. I went from being forced to stay in bed for months, and then spent months with sitting in a chair for many hours in a day, feeding tiny babies. Now that the boys are older, I can move around more, and I'm not sure that my knees are liking that so much. It makes me a little sad, because my husband keeps trying to "motivate" me to go to the gym... and I'm a little intimidated. It is hard to work up much enthusiasm when hauling the laundry has me in pain.

I'm going to try and do what I can do, and work on ignoring my sense of pride. Sure, it doesn't feel great to go to the gym and only walk on the treadmill for 45 minutes, leaving behind all of the folks who are working real hard and sweating themselves silly. I always feel lazy, leaving so soon, and without doing something more strenuous. Still, I've been so beat-up by carrying the boys, it's not like I am ready for much more. My hips and back are not yet *right*, but at least I am able to move around again. If I think about it as more of a physical therapy, maybe I can make some good progress towards regaining health.

Daybook: July 18, 2011

2011-07-18T07:58:00.000-07:00

Sis @ the street fair

Outside My Window...
It is rather pretty outside today. The sun isn't terribly hot yet, and it looks like the sky is a wee bit grey in some areas, where the clouds are thicker.

I am thinking...
I should probably just buy the Gerber baby biscuits in bulk. *lol* You know, it is just over $2 per box, and with two babies each nibbling on "cookies", these little boxes go real fast. I like to give them to Peanut, first thing in the morning, so they dry his mouth out and make it more likely that he will drink his medicine. Of course, that means that I have to give Little Bear a couple also. :) They just LOVE their "cookies".

I am thankful for...
I'm feeling very thankful that the boys are getting over their 'social anxiety'. We've been able to take them to the church nursery a couple of times now, and they didn't scream and cry when other people came near them. So, I think that we will be just fine when we visit with my mom and grandparents! (Have been worried that their feelings might get hurt if the boys take a look at them and start wailing.)

From the learning rooms...
We are doing just a wee bit of math review this week, and a page or two of handwriting. Other than that, Sissy is just reading books that she enjoys. :)

From the kitchen...
Evening Meal:

Grilled chicken thighs
steamed broccoli
garlic & pepper green beans
a little leftover potato salad

I am wearing...
I'm wearing sweat pants and a long cotton top. :) I'm going for comfort today, since I have so much housework to do.

I am creating...
A list of Yu-gi-oh cards that Sissy can earn as a part of her chores, using My Job Chart.

I am going...
I need to get another bottle of medicine for Peanut, from the store. I don't know if I'll get to that today, but I might. He has enough to last a couple more days, so it might get put off.

I am reading...
I am kind of between books right now. I need to poke around through my Kindle and find something that I feel like reading this week.

On my mind...
We are thinking on and planning a birthday party for our twins. From what my husband was saying, we'll have a Sunday afternoon luncheon, basically. That will probably work out best, so the boys aren't out too late, and won't miss their naps. They get miserable when they are too tired.

Around the house...
Just trying to beat back the mess! lol I'm working in the kitchen today, while my laundry washes.

One of my favorite things...
Baking fresh goodies for my family.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Make banana bread
Work on this week's "week by week" task
Sweep and mop the kitchen
Make room in the bedroom for the vanity table we'll use as a desk

Mine, for the Day

2011-06-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

And foreigners who bind themselves to the LORD
   to minister to him,
to love the name of the LORD,
   and to be his servants,
all who keep the Sabbath without desecrating it
   and who hold fast to my covenant—
these I will bring to my holy mountain
   and give them joy in my house of prayer.
Their burnt offerings and sacrifices
   will be accepted on my altar;
for my house will be called
   a house of prayer for all nations.”

--Isaiah 56:6-7

TGIF

2011-06-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

Sis with her new Pup

So, last night I was talking with my husband, and I looked up and said, "What is today? Wait. Is tomorrow Friday?" He assured me that it was, and we both breathed a sigh of relief. I completely agreed with his assessment; This week pretty much sucked. lol

Ok, to be fair, it wasn't as though everything was horrible. It has just been a long and stressful few days. The boys have been rather difficult, especially Peanut. He has this new-ish thing, where he doesn't want to drink anything. Little Bear does the same thing on occasion, but he isn't nearly as bad about it. However, Peanut needs fluids very badly, because of his constipation issues. He doesn't seem to believe me though. He won't tolerate baby formula touching his lips, but now he will kind of sip whole milk out of a straw and cup. I tried putting formula in the cup, and all he does is spit it out and flick his straw at me. Sometimes he is a rather naughty boy. :)

We had an appointment for Sissy yesterday, and I didn't get any sleep the night before. No, really. I don't think that I drifted off at all. The appointment was just fine, and the doctor was a very nice lady. I really like her, personally. She also is very kind and understanding with Sissy, and that causes me to really, really like her. It can be rather easy for people to become... annoyed, with some of Sissy's enthusiasm and constant chatter, but not Doc. Y. Groovy.

Now though, I find myself doing a bit of research on "social pragmatic disorder" and also Marfans Syndrome. The jury is still out on Sis' quirks. We won't have a better idea on the scope and scale of things until all of the evaluations are done. Doc thinks that it could be November before we have a real solid handle on what exactly is giving Sis difficulties. We have a "yes" on ADHD, and a "maybe" on Asperger's. Sis needs some checkups with a couple of specialists to rule out Marfans, apparently. Um... but our health insurance stinks. So, now I need to look into secondary insurance for her, to see what we can swing. Otherwise, our insurance won't cover the docs that we are being sent to, and if they have anyone for us "in network", they are going to be horrifically hard to see.

Ahh... but it's Friday. :) There are only a few hours left, and then I can just rest and breathe. There will be no appointments to set, people to call, anything. I will run up to the grocery store real quick after DH gets home from work, and then we'll all relax and snack on veggies while playing games, reading, and watching shows together. d e c o m p r e s s i o n

Mama's Big Boys

2011-06-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it looks as though we are putting the baby bottles away. Both of the boys are starting to give me a hard time with taking a bottle, and Peanut outright rejects the bottle with a fierceness. The boy will have none of it. He flaps his hands and bats at the bottle, turns his head away, and kicks his little feet in upset. Bear isn't quite so upset by the bottle. He just doesn't like laying down to drink his milk. He is more apt to bite the nipple and roll it around in his mouth, laughing at whomever thinks that they are actually going to feed him.

This morning, I didn't even give Bear a bottle. I had managed to "convince" Peanut to drink half of his bottle of milk, and I had tried to give him the rest in a sippy cup. He really was just 'done', and wouldn't tolerate my attempts any longer. So, I had milk in the sippy, and I just gave it to Bear. He sucked that stuff down like nobody's business.

Since neither of the boys has been drinking the amount of formula that the doctor has suggested, I mixed in the rest of their formula powder with their morning cereal. I just added plenty of water to it, making it as "loose" as I could, while still having it thick enough to spoon-feed. After breakfast, before the boys went down for their afternoon nap, I pulled out a cup and straw. Peanut was more interested in chewing on the straw than drinking, but he did drink a bit. He drinks more from the edge of the cup, but he started choking himself a bit too much. Bear just loves the straw. He drank much of the cup of water, using the straw. I just have to watch him, because he loves to bite and chew on things. We had some of the sippy cups with the soft spout, but he likes to try and bite them off and put holes in them. Bear has such sharp little teeth, and he likes using them. Sometimes I call him "Sunny". lol

Since we aren't having much luck with bottles, I'm going to just put most of them up. I'll keep a couple available, but other than that- we're just switching to sippies and regular cups. There is no point in keeping something around that isn't working for us anyway. Apparently, I have big boys now, and not babies.

Daybook: June 13, 2011

2011-06-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...
The sunshine is absolutely beautiful. It is so refreshing to have the brilliant light, but without so much blistering heat. Thankfully, we are no longer hanging in the mid-high 90's anymore, and have settled in the 70's for a few days.

I am thinking...
I would love to take the children on a walk through the neighborhood today. It is a little breezy, but I'm sure that we can manage with some long sleeves on.

I am thankful for...
The many years that we had our peanut butter dog, and for what a good companion he was for the children in our household. All of the children who ever came to visit would always fawn all over him, and just adored spending time with him. He put up with so much, letting little children dangle off of him all the time. He was a good boy. I am thankful for the time that we had.

From the learning rooms...
-Off- Short break

From the kitchen...
Evening Meal:

small portion of Pasta w/ garlic & rosemary olive oil dressing + optional Parmesan cheese
thin strips of raw carrot, green pepper, and cucumber w/ hummus
dessert of cantaloupe and banana fruit salad

I am wearing...
A white blouse under a grey jumper dress.

I am creating...
Clean laundry? :)

I am going...
We might walk up to the Market, in search of bananas. There were only a few ripe bananas at Meijer last night. Since all five of us enjoy them, we could use some more.

I am reading...
I am re-reading the book of Genesis right now. I have a book called "Doctor Yourself" , by Andrew Saul, but I am taking a short break from reading it. Aside from my Scripture reading, I've just been listening to podcasts from Torah Life Ministries.

On my mind...
To be quite honest, food has been on my mind all day. lol I am trying to follow a primarily raw food diet this week, and it is already proving to be a challenge. That's not to say that I am eating 100% raw foods, but am trying to make the bulk of all my food be raw fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Since I am too used to eating whatever junk I can find to put in my mouth, this is feeling a little burdensome. I feel good and light, but I am also feeling very "snacky". I need to go and grab one of my cucumbers and nibble on that while I read this afternoon.

Around the house...
Oh, just the "same old, same old". I am trying to get the diapers washed up and dried, other laundry put away. I have to finish up with the dishes, and sweep up the kitchen floor. Since Peanut has been having such a hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep though, I've taken the boys' nap time for my own quiet tasks, instead of the heavier housework.

One of my favorite things...
Walking into the church nursery for the first time, and seeing both of the boys asleep on the chests of the kind ladies tending the nursery. They finally seem to be making progress in overcoming their social anxiety. We were able to take them to the nursery for the first time, and no one had any horrific meltdowns or anything. It is my hope that after a few weeks of playing in the nursery, maybe the boys won't cry when we take them to visit my (and their) grandparents for the first time. Grandma and Papa are so excited that we will be able to make the trip to visit, and they just want to love and cuddle the boys. I am praying that they will no longer be terrified of unknown people. :)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Sort baby nipples and pack away everything but the #4 fast flow
Work more diligently on getting the boys used to sippy cups
Begin clearing my diapering supplies and misc. baby things out of the nursery room, so the boys will be able to play on the floor in their own room in the near future.

Retail Therapy and the Peanut Butter Dog

2011-06-07T18:46:00.000-07:00

Pretty much says it all

Today has been such a dumpy day.

I'm not one of those people to become overly emotional about many things. Goodness, something always seems to be happening, and it's not worth getting tied up in knots over... usually. I mean, so neighbor kids stole our car that one time. I got a little grumpy-eyebrowed over that. When someone stole a bicycle out of our yard, I pretty much just shrugged. After all, whatcha gonna do? It really stinks, but it's not like getting angry is going to magically make the bike reappear. Kid pulls up my vegetable seedlings? Oh well. Most likely, I was going to end up killing them anyway, to be completely honest.

So, my first reaction this morning, when my husband came in to tell me that our dog had died... well, it just wasn't there. I didn't start getting upset until I had to tell Sissy, and I recognized that she was doing the very same thing that I was. She wasn't talking to me about what had happened. She just looked up at me with shiny eyes, her arms crossed over her chest. I found myself actually having to tell her that it was alright to be upset, that it was a very sad thing... something worth crying over. We did then, you know.

I've done a number of things today that I was very uncomfortable with. Made me sad. I had to put all of the children in the van and drive our dog to the pet cemetery, to have him cremated. It wasn't what I really desired, but they wanted about $500 for us to bury Skippy in their cemetery, and we just couldn't afford that. Sissy said that she didn't think that we should cremate Skip, because it just didn't seem like a nice thing to do, burning your dog. She said that she understood that it was just his body, and that it shouldn't be a big deal, but that it still felt like one. Still, once I explained to her that we just didn't have the money to buy a fancy casket and a plot in the pet cemetery, she understood. They are going to call us soon, and we will pick up his ashes and bury them in a spot in the yard. Sis is going to paint a big rock for him. It's the best that we could do.

Since neither of us was feeling particularly well, Sissy and I skipped school today. We played hookie. I took the kids over to the mall, and we had lunch at Olga's Kitchen, because that was where Sis wanted to go. I smashed Mac & Cheese for the boys, and they had a cup of applesauce for dessert. I was concerned about the whole feeding thing, but it is becoming easier to take the boys out. No one choked on noodles, and they napped in their stroller while Sis and I shopped around.

After lunch, we hit J.C. Penney, and they were having their big clearance sale again. I picked up a couple of shirts really cheap, for my girl, in addition to a new swimsuit. She just happened to pick out a ZeroXposure swimsuit, just like one of my friends had suggested we look into. Pretty cool. She now has something to get wet in, and it is as modest as we've been able to find off a rack. She should have lots of fun in it, when we take our vacation.

There is this little shop in the mall that sells all sorts of Chinese do-dads, and Sissy wanted to go in there very badly. So, we went in there. She looked at all sorts of Pokemon things, and drooled over DragonBall Z Kai trading cards and figurines. I thought that the plush Yoshi toys were cute, and am thinking that I really "need" the Mario Bros. chess set. I mean, if you are going to play chess, shouldn't it be with plumbers, koopas, princesses, and yoshi? Really? :)

We finished off our trip with a visit to the Dairy Queen. I really like that they have mini blizzards now. They are just the right size. I had Strawberry Cheesequake, and shared a little bit with the boys. I figured that since they are nearly ready to switch over to whole milk, it should be alright to give them a couple small nibbles of ice cream as a special treat. I created two little monsters. They kept making frantic baby noises, like little cheeping baby birds, with their mouths open and searching.

Since we were all exhausted, we headed home after that, and I still managed to get all worked up when we pulled up to the house and our doggie wasn't waiting for us at the porch steps. Our first day without our buddy is nearly over though, and we all made it through alright. Tomorrow, we should be able to get back to homework and housework. I'm sure that we'll have moments of upset, when he isn't here during our normal things. I won't have to fuss at Sissy to let the dog out *before* she has her breakfast. I won't have to step over him in the bathroom, because he won't be laying in front of the air vent to relax and keep cool. There won't be any more fussing at him for eating gross things out of the garbage can, and that makes me sad. We will miss our peanut butter dog.

Daybook: June 1, 2011

2011-06-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Love my girl

Outside My Window...
It is incredibly windy, but the sun is hot, and the air is warm. It is quite beautiful out there.

I am thinking...
That I miss my husband. He has been working a lot, and all sorts of strange hours.

I am thankful for...
The beautiful sunshine that we are being blessed with. It helps to brighten my mood a bit. It is hard to be too down and grumpy when it is so nice out.

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Cursive writing/ copy work
Math: problems solved using line graphs
History: free reading on the 13 colonies

(We are having a "light" week, this week. Next week will be a bit more challenging.)

From the kitchen...
Evening Meal:

Mac & Cheese
Cauliflower
Orange and banana slices

I am wearing...
Cotton "seafoam" dress over a cream colored sleeveless top.

I am creating...
Nothing at the moment. I've been short on time, without the help of my husband.

I am going...
I was thinking about taking the children over to the park, by the river.

I am reading...

Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin ( I hit a slow spot in the book, but it has been very helpful in understanding more, the mindset of a Jew, as he approaches Father. If anything, it is at least interesting.)
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae (Because of the day-by-day format of the book, this one will take a little while. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get to it every day, and am a little behind. Oops. )
[I know, STILL, right? lol I am not getting much reading done lately, so I only read a few pages (sometimes paragraphs) at a time. It takes a while... ]

On my mind...
I've been thinking a lot about my grandparents, and especially of the time that I spent with them when I was young. In a quiet place, I'm really quite sad that my children won't have the same kind of experiences that I did.

Around the house...
Just picking up a bit, to keep the place from looking like a pig pen. :) I'm not doing any deep cleaning right now or anything, because the children need the attention more than the house.

One of my favorite things...

I like it when my big girl gives me a hug. :)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Clean the wooden kitchen counter.
Wash the valances

Daybook: May 31, 2011

2011-05-31T13:04:00.000-07:00

Sissy's owl drawing

Outside My Window...
It is hot!! I am hiding inside for a little while, being that it is supposed to be 90* out today, and I don't want to look like a boiled lobster. I will appreciate the hot, hot heat while I hang my diapers out on the line to dry. Then I will again take refuge inside until the heat of the afternoon is past, and we can sit out under the trees to relax. My sunflower plants and my beans are looking so good though, and are just soaking up the sunshine.

I am thinking...
I would love to take the children to the park, if it wasn't going to storm later. However, my Mr. says that it is supposed to be quite beautiful for the rest of the week, so we can just go another day. He thinks that it sounds lovely, and we can take Sissy for an ice cream cone while we are out.

I am thankful for...
Medicine. I am so very thankful for medicine. :) I get very frustrated, because our health insurance isn't accepted at very many places, and we are dropped by more places every day. That kind of locks us in with one pediatrician right now, though she frustrates me so deeply. Doc is a very nice lady, and I like her a lot. I even like that she looks for the most natural way to "fix" issues, before resorting to medicines. However, I am frustrated with her refusal to look into medicine for Peanut's constipation.

For months, I have tried giving him prunes, fruits, and juices to help him go poo comfortably. It has been so wildly out of hand that in order for him to consistently poo, he would have to forgo his milk, in order to ingest enough fruit and juice to soften his poo. That is just not healthy. I don't want him being vitamin and mineral deficient, sucking down a constant stream of sugar, just to use the bathroom. Well, after one too many enemas, and still seeing his hard poo that just tore up his bottom, I couldn't handle seeing him bleed from his bottom any more. I was spitting mad, and wanting to cry for my little boy. So, regardless of how Doc feels about it, I researched the dosages that docs are suggesting for other babies of his age, and I started giving Peanut Miralax. It's been two days now, and I just wanted to cry this morning. I got the boys up for breakfast, and when I changed Peanut's diaper- he had poo. Soft, passable poo. He was fussing because he didn't like a messy bottom, but he hadn't been screaming while going. After breakfast, he had another poo, much like the first. I didn't even know that he had gone, until I checked him. There was no straining, grunting, or screaming.

That is such a huge blessing. It's such a beautiful thing, seeing my little boy able to do the good and healthy things, without pain. Now, he can enjoy so many more foods, things that I know that he likes. I don't have to liquify every vegetable, so he can practice feeding himself little peas and carrots. Thankfully, he can have the added protein from meats, something that Doc wanted him to have, but something that he couldn't pass. Today, I am feeling very thankful for such a simple thing as Miralax.

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Watching educational videos
"Mystery Picture" multiplication and division worksheets
Creative writing

(We are having a "light" week, this week. Next week will be a bit more challenging.)

From the kitchen...
Evening Meal:

Creamy broccoli & Alfredo tuna casserole
Roasted green beans
glazed carrots
toasted challah

I am wearing...
Khaki capri pants and a long pink tunic top

I am creating...
Still working on my home management book, and clipping coupons!

I am going...
I might run up to the grocery store this evening, for milk, cheese, and sandwich bread. Maybe. :)

I am reading...

Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin ( I hit a slow spot in the book, but it has been very helpful in understanding more, the mindset of a Jew, as he approaches Father. If anything, it is at least interesting.)
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae (Because of the day-by-day format of the book, this one will take a little while. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get to it every day, and am a little behind. Oops. )
[I know, STILL, right? lol I am not getting much reading done lately, so I only read a few pages (sometimes paragraphs) at a time. It takes a while... ]

On my mind...
The Jews have been very much on my mind lately. We are studying the Holocaust, as a part of Sissy's lessons.

Around the house...
Just general picking up around the house. :)

One of my favorite things...
Having a hand-held shower! I can take it down from the little wall hook, and spray down babies whom I find playing in very disgusting things in their highchair. Yup.... ewwww.....

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Clean the wooden kitchen counter.
Wash the valances

Daybook: May 27, 2011

2011-05-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...
I don't have a good picture to share from outside today. It looks like a soggy jungle out there right now! It is still grey out there, but at least it isn't raining!

I am thinking...
That I am a little sad that things are not as they were. I know that that is terribly vague, but sometimes I am like that. :) I hate seeing people pull apart from one another, and being that my own family is very splintered, I am missing the tight-knit situation that I had been happy to find myself a part of. It feels rather lonely.

I am thankful for...
The blessings of safety, and a dry basement.

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:
We are watching "The Diary of Anne Frank" today, for "school". We weren't supposed to be having studies on Fridays, but there is a young lady who was in need of a lesson about the timely completion of homework. So, there will be a couple worksheets, in addition to our movie.

From the kitchen...
The evening meal:
Challah
Cheesy Pasta w/ Tuna
Steamed broccoli
Corn on the cob

I am wearing...
A green and white dress over a white blouse.

I am creating...
I've still been working on my Home Management binder, printing out coupon policies for my various grocery stores, and printing up what coupons that I could from the internet. There aren't going to be any coupon inserts in the paper this week, so I'm doing what I can to try and prepare during the "down" time. I've never been a "couponer" before, but I think that with the investment of some time, I can at least begin stockpiling things that we can take to church. Even if I can get something for pennies that we don't typically eat, there is someone else who might really like it. With all of the car repairs, and other unexpected expenses, it will be harder for me to try and squirrel away things for the church food pantry, unless I make a way. The rather obnoxiously devout coupon ladies on tv have inspired me to at least make a strong effort to do what I can.

I am going...
I have no place that I would like to go today, which is interesting, since it is one of the first days that I have my van back. Sure, it is on "E", and would need gas, but it is still here for my use. I will take it to the gas station before church, and then go and buy the baby milk that I need in the evening, well after most folks have gone home. For today though, I am just going to stay home and try to get the house picked up, and laundry done.

I am reading...

Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin ( I hit a slow spot in the book, but it has been very helpful in understanding more, the mindset of a Jew, as he approaches Father. If anything, it is at least interesting.)
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae (Because of the day-by-day format of the book, this one will take a little while. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get to it every day, and am a little behind. Oops. )
[I know, STILL, right? lol I am not getting much reading done lately, so I only read a few pages (sometimes paragraphs) at a time. It takes a while... ]

On my mind...
I have been thinking that we need to buy Sissy another science book. She has already basically finished with the 4th grade text that she has, though I have her go back and refresh herself with the various chapters that she has finished. My husband said that it sounded like a great idea to get her the 5th grade textbook, and I am happy that all three books (student text, teacher's book, and test booklet) are only $30, combined. With all of the over-time that DH has been working, we can well afford it this pay.

Around the house...
I am just doing the general cleaning around the house, and picking at the laundry. There are times when I really wish that I had more than one washing machine. I would string up a couple more clotheslines easily, if I could only get through all of the baskets of laundry faster. :o ) Sissy will be washing her own clothes today, and I need to finish up with the baby laundry, diapers, my own clothes, and hopefully wash up DH's work clothes. I have some time to get his done though, with the long weekend. It is just a never-ending cycle, of course.

One of my favorite things...
I really enjoy it when I set a goal for myself, like a specific list or dollar amount that I can spend at the store, and I actually stick to it. I find that unless I am very organized and 'on task', I will tend to wander and pick up too many things for my cart. What is helping now though, is to remember that I don't have to buy for a long period of time, only 7 days. If I am not definitely using it within those 7 days, I don't need to buy it.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Find the slug-icide. The poor, slimy little beasties are eating my green bean plants! I hate to do it, but they must go. (Still haven't been able to find the stuff. I think that I may have gotten rid of it, unfortunately.)
Clean the top of the refrigerator.
Clean the tops of my kitchen cabinets, and wash my angels. (Still looking for an appropriate ladder to use! I have no business climbing up on our chairs, since they swivel and roll.)
Mop the floor.{done}

Daybook: May 24, 2011

2011-05-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

I grow tomatoes and shoes on my porch. lol

Outside My Window...
The sunshine is so beautiful. Ahhh. :) It is cooler today, but it feels absolutely delicious. There is no need for any heat or air conditioning. Nope. I just opened the windows, put on a fan, and the house feels delightful.

I am thinking...
That it is so nice to hear the birds singing outside. It is so nice to have calm weather and some sunshine to perk up our spirits. I know that it won't last long, but maybe that makes it just a little sweeter.

I am thankful for...
Being safe and secure during nasty weather. I thank God for his protection, whenever I see all of the terrible destruction of the tornadoes this season, while I mourn with those who found themselves in the path of these awful storms. It is all a little mind-numbing.

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Bible Cursive / Copywork {done}
Math Speed Drill{done}
Reading Lesson - Re-read lessons 7-9 to refresh. Read lesson 10.{done}
Reading Lesson 10 - Workbook pgs.43-45{done}
English Lesson 27, pg. 100-102, Written Practice A, B, and C{done}
Math-Multiplication "mystery picture" and Fix errors on yesterday's homework{done}
Science: Read Unit 4, lesson 4 {done}

(Though we've been using a lot of online resources, like Enchanted Learning and BigIQ Kids, we are going to make the switch to using more of our standard school books for a while. A lot of what we are doing at the moment is more of a review, before moving onto harder, new material. Since we are spending more time with our power turned off, we are going to be using digital resources a little less often. )

From the kitchen...
Yesterday, I found some ground beef in the refrigerator that I had cooked up, and then hadn't used yet. Instead of making the chicken and rice, I used the hamburger to make some Beef Stroganoff, which was served with baked potatoes. We will have the chicken and rice tonight, instead. :)

I am wearing...
A soft, brown jersey dress, over a white t-shirt. ("Comfortable" is the word of the day.)

I am creating...
I've been working hard in my Home Management binder over the past couple of days. It has taken top priority, over my fiber arts. I have accounting ledgers that needed printing and organizing, along with different organizational lists and schedules. It had me up far too late last night, and I think that my brain is still hurting just a little bit.

I am going...
Up and down the basement stairs? It is a day for catching up with some laundry. I need to do just a little bit of "window shopping", but I am going to do that online. I am going to try and sew Sissy's mattress and repair a small place where a piece of wire has poked out, but if that doesn't work, we will have to buy her a new mattress. I will do my best though, and we do have oodles of blankets that I can put on her bed in the meantime, to add lots of padding between her and anything that might poke. Daddy has flipped her mattress over, and this is buying us a little bit of time to figure out our best course of action. :)

I am reading...

Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin ( I hit a slow spot in the book, but it has been very helpful in understanding more, the mindset of a Jew, as he approaches Father. If anything, it is at least interesting.)
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae (Because of the day-by-day format of the book, this one will take a little while. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get to it every day, and am a little behind. Oops. )

On my mind...
I was thinking about how happy I am that we made it through a night with the boys in cloth diapers! That probably sounds funny, since they have been in cloth since they were a few weeks old. We've been using disposable "overnight" diapers, since the boys are such heavy wetters, and because Little Bear has such sensitive skin. When he first started solids, he developed a horrible "rash", what I now believe was actually an ammonia burn. It took a long time to get his skin clear, and he was is disposables for quite a while. I've worked on my laundering, did plenty of research, and made as many positive changes as I could. We moved LB back into cloth diapers, and things have been going great for quite a while now. Because of that, I felt that maybe we could try cloth over the night now, and see how his skin reacts.

For our little experiment, I decided to use our new BumGenius 4.0 diapers. We only have two of them right now, with two more in the mail. I've tried them during the day, and was very happy with how they fit and performed, so I thought that out of our stash, they were probably the most well-suited to overnight diapering.

For the night, I used the large insert and the newborn insert that comes with the diaper. I also added one preemie-sized cotton prefold, which is what I love to keep on-hand as diaper doublers. (They fit so well in the diapers, are wonderfully soft, and they keep a lot of poo off of my diapers.) That sounds like a lot of fluff, and I guess that it probably was. Still, I just know that my boys really "go" a lot, and they sleep for 12 hours at night.

In the morning, I was happy to find that both boys were dry. Peanut had gotten up early, just before 7 a.m., and he was just fine. LB slept in until 8 a.m., and while I had been concerned about him, all was well. His diaper inserts were quite saturated when I pulled them free from the diaper shell (before I dropped them in my bucket). His skin felt pretty dry though, and there wasn't any irritation to his skin at all. Previously, I would have seen signs of irritation right away, after one night. So, chalk one up for the BG 4.0. Not only do they fit really well and have great snaps, but removing the sewn-in soaker and just letting me stuff whatever I need into the shell has worked out much better. (It is easier come laundry time, also.) I will go ahead and try the same setup tonight, and see if LB holds up just as well. If so, I think that we will be in a good place to go ahead and stop buying those expensive overnight diapers.

Around the house...
It is kind of a slow day today. I am going to start picking things off of my to-do list, and just poke around with the dishes and laundry as the day goes on. My Sweetheart is going to be late coming home from work, so I will just keep moving along, keeping busy until he walks in the door.

One of my favorite things...
Having Sissy sit at the table, next to me, while we both do our work.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Find the slug-icide. The poor, slimy little beasties are eating my green bean plants! I hate to do it, but they must go. (Still haven't been able to find the stuff. I think that I may have gotten rid of it, unfortunately.)

Clean the top of the refrigerator.
Clean the tops of my kitchen cabinets, and wash my angels. (They live on top of the cabinets. )
Mop the floor.{done}

Daybook: May 23, 2011

2011-05-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Motivation? Stir, sip.

Outside My Window...
It is very windy! The "bad" weather started rolling in last night, but nothing much has come of it yet, aside from a wee bit of precipitation and some wind. It hasn't even disturbed the kitties yet, as they've been sleeping on a carboard box, set next to the garbage can, all morning. (Normally they are sleeping on the small trampoline, on the swing set. )

I am thinking...
That I need a dose of "motivation". I am finding it difficult to drag myself through the more tedious household tasks today.

I am thankful for...
Fresh water and electricity. :)

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Find the slug-icide. The poor, slimy little beasties are eating my green bean plants! I hate to do it, but they must go.
Clean the top of the refrigerator.
Clean the tops of my kitchen cabinets, and wash my angels. (They live on top of the cabinets. )
Mop the floor.

Daybook: May 22, 2011

2011-05-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

My kitty, Malacki, hanging out on the porch.

Outside My Window...

The brilliant, bright sunshine has been dulled by some clouds that have just recently rolled in. The sky is a light grey, protecting the children from any sunburns, but offering plenty of light to play out in the yard.

I am thinking...
That I desperately need a shower! Today has been a day of heavy work, and I am in need of a little physical TLC, if I want to be able to move tomorrow.

I am thankful for...
The blessing of drawing breath for another day. Having my daughter beside me at worship. Seeing the wonderful "grandmas" at church. Bright sunshine. Happy, sweaty babies, with their hair all a'curl.

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:
No school today. :)

From the kitchen...

We've been snacking on Challah today, and snagging strips of turkey bacon from the fridge. It's just been a busy day for working and running around. For dinner, I have some ground beef that is cooked up and waiting in the fridge. All I have to do is think up some wonderful thing to do with it.

I am wearing...
Well, at the moment, I am wearing camouflage pants and an old t-shirt that I got when I gave blood. I think that what I *should* have worn more of is- sunscreen.

I am creating...
Nothing, aside from a little cleanliness. Since I don't work on the Sabbath, there is plenty of "catch up" work to do today. I'm busy washing up dishes that have sat in the sink, and all of that good stuff.

I am going...
Nowhere else. Please. Ha! :) After going to church this morning, we went to Meijer, to buy baby formula, and whatever foods I could pick up there for a decent price. Then, later in the afternoon, I zipped up to my local small grocer, to buy whatever meat I could find at a good sale price. They take good care of us at the Market, so I was able to get some ground beef and some chicken, and all of it under $2/ lb. .

I am reading...

Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin ( I hit a slow spot in the book, but it has been very helpful in understanding more, the mindset of a Jew, as he approaches Father. If anything, it is at least interesting.)
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae (Because of the day-by-day format of the book, this one will take a little while. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to get to it every day, and am a little behind. Oops. )

On my mind...
It has been on my mind a lot, ways that I might be able to get the rest of my family back into church. My dear, sweet husband works too hard. No matter how I try to convince him, he can't seem to find a way to put things aside and just rest for a day. So, he is typically wreaked on Sunday mornings, and it takes him some time (and Motrin) to get mobile again. I'm just sad for him, because he deserves some time to just *be*. Without his help, I cannot manage the boys yet, as they are not walking under their own power, and I'm not strong enough to carry them and manage them on my own. I would have to take them to the nursery, but they are both very afraid of strangers. (Thanks, mainly, because we have found it so difficult to get them around other people. DH is at work, and no one comes to visit, so I don't know how to help improve things.)

Around the house...
I am trying to get the house back into some semblance of order, now that we are back to the daily grind. There is only going to be so much inside work done today though, as I've worn myself out with yard work.

One of my favorite things...
Having a nicely cut yard, suitable for the children to play on. :)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Find the slug-icide. The poor, slimy little beasties are eating my green bean plants! I hate to do it, but they must go.
Clean the top of the refrigerator.
Clean the tops of my kitchen cabinets, and wash my angels. (They live on top of the cabinets. )
Mop the floor.

Daybook: May 19, 2011

2011-05-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

Sissy's drawing of waterfalls

Outside My Window...
More grey sky. I think that I am wilting. Ok, not really, but I do feel a little water-logged. I am so glad that they are calling for sunshine tomorrow. I can't think of anything more enjoyable than being able to take my children out for a walk, up to the market, to get the things that we will need for our Sabbath meal. <3

Edit: The sun came out!! I had to put the last school lesson on hold, to hurry and send Sissy outside to play while the sun was still shining. What a blessing! :o )

I am thinking...
That I really should make an effort to go through the pile of papers that is growing, and trying to take over the dining table. They have been calling my name for quite a while, but I keep putting it off. I think that it is finally time to throw away the old sales ads and magazines that no one wants. I can bundle up all of the recyclable stuff for Sissy, and she can put it in the bin, at the Market. The rest can go in the shredder.

I am thankful for...
Poo. I know it sounds gross. Peanut has had his 4th good, soft poo- all on his own. He hasn't even been crying over it, and that is a balm to my heart. It has been harder, trying to give each of the boys their own, different meals. However, each is getting what they need to be happy, regular boys. It makes me so happy when they are healthy, and not in pain. Hallelu-Yah!

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Math test!
Character Study / Vocabulary
Cursive writing w/ scripture verses
History reading, Chapters 13-14
Review of Science, Unit 4, lessons 1-3

From the kitchen...
Today, we are roasting chicken leg quarters. They were on sale for $0.99 per lb., so I picked up a couple of packages. We will eat chicken tonight, for dinner. I will pick the rest of the meat from the bones, and put it in a dish, so we will have luncheon meat for sandwiches and hopefully enough for my chicken pot pie.

I am wearing...
A brightly patterned dress of pinks, purples, blues, and greens, with a somewhat teal-colored blouse.

I am creating...
Still nothing! I am feeling a little intimidated by the idea of starting my cross stitch project, since I haven't done anything like it before. However, I have cross-stitched small patterns onto sweaters that I have crocheted. I shouldn't feel so nervous about it! I will hopefully begin tomorrow afternoon. I am making cross-stitched birth records for each of the boys. They are small enough to fit in a picture album, which is what I am going to use to make memory books for each of the children. (Sissy already has an album, though I would like to add to it.)

I am going...
Nowhere just yet.

I am reading...
Article- "Celebrate the Sabbath!"
Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae

On my mind...
I've been thinking about ordering some more of the new BumGenius 4.0 diapers. I bought two, with snaps, to try them out. So far, I am really liking them. I'll talk more about that on another day though.

Around the house...
I have just a little bit more housework to do. I've been busy, cleaning in the kitchen and taking care of laundry. With three children, two of them being infants, there is a lot more clothing to be washed each day. It may sound goofy, but I certainly see where it would be a benefit to have a larger family. While there is more to be done, there are also more hands to do the work. I feel like I am running on a hamster wheel most days, working primarily by myself. It's only going to be a few short years though. Then, Sissy will be experienced enough to do nearly everything that I do, and the boys will be big enough to help, also.

One of my favorite things...
When my little Peanut comes over to play at my feet, because he just wants to be near to me. <3

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Get the laundry room cleaned up nicely
Take an inventory of my diapers {done!}
Box up diapers that are too small, for the next Mom-to-Mom sale {1/2}
Scrub the inside of the refrigerator and also the inside of the dishwasher {dishwasher-done!} {refigerator-done!}

Daybook: May 18, 2011

2011-05-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...
The sky is grey, and the ground is pretty saturated. Goodness, the plants are going crazy with all of this rain. It looks like my yard has just exploded in dandelions over the past few days.

I am thinking...
That there is going to be a lot of heavy work to do, after the Sabbath. There is so much ground to be turned. I hope that the weather is good.

I am thankful for...
Strong hands, sturdy feet, and lots of huggable space in between. :)

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Math review and study on Khan Academy
5 minute Division Drill
Character Study / Vocabulary
Cursive writing w/ scripture verses
History reading, "Massacre in Virginia, Poverty in England"
Continuing study, Science study on germs (Unit 4, Lesson 3)

From the kitchen...
Tonight, we are having "poor man's" steak, home-mashed potatoes, and peas.

I am wearing...
My simple grey dress over a blue blouse.

I am creating...
It appears that all I am creating these days is.. mess. lol I will get back to projects soon. :)

I am going...
I don't have any plans to go anywhere today. The weather is still too unpredictable and drippy to allow for daily walks, so even visiting the Market is out for now.

I am reading...
Article- "Celebrate the Sabbath!"
Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae

On my mind...
I am thinking about how unhealthy my habits have become, in trying to "steal" time out for myself in the evenings. I know that I shouldn't be staying up until midnight and beyond, and that I would feel much better (and probably weigh less, too!) if I could get into a more healthy schedule. I should also start sitting down to eat real meals, instead of grabbing a bite here and there, between household tasks. That isn't healthy either.

Around the house...
I am instructing my daughter on the cleaning of her own laundry. We will also work on the art of properly cooking a potato, and what goes into mashing a delicious potato.

One of my favorite things...
Watching my daughter play with, and soothe, her little brothers. <3

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Get the laundry room cleaned up nicely
Take an inventory of my diapers {done!}
Box up diapers that are too small, for the next Mom-to-Mom sale
Scrub the inside of the refrigerator and also the inside of the dishwasher {dishwasher-done!}

Daybook: May 17, 2011

2011-05-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

Sunflower seedlings!!

Outside My Window...
It is still cold and grey outside. :( The wind is quite bitter. I am very glad that I did as Holly advised, and didn't put my vegetables in just yet. I don't know whether the little seedlings would have liked those bitter cold temperatures at night.

I am thinking...
That I need to finish folding the boys' clothes. Folding baby clothes just seems to take so long, because so many little pieces fit into the wash at one time. For a gal who doesn't like folding laundry to begin with, it is rather tedious.

I am thankful for...
The ability to not only provide food and shelter for the children, but also little treats that they love so much. I spent $10 on a little toy remote for the babies, and it is so much fun to watch them roll on the floor, laughing as they play with it. For Sissy, she got some little Bakugan toys that she can use to play with her cousin. Having things like that in common with those she likes, it makes her feel happy. When the kiddos are happy, I am happy. That is a big blessing. Some children play with folded, twisted, and tied bits of garbage and scraps that they fashion into dolls and toy cars. I am thankful that I can give my children something safe to play with, and it reminds me to make a bigger effort to give these same small gifts to children who have less than we do.

From the learning rooms...
Today's studies include:

Math review and study on Khan Academy
Spectrum Language Arts for grammar
Cursive writing w/ scripture verses
History reading about John Smith
Science study on germs

From the kitchen...
Tonight is Spaghetti Night! This is Sissy's favorite meal. :) While I am in the kitchen, I am going to cook up some ground beef that needs to be portioned and put in the freezer, also.

I am wearing...
A peach, white, and brown floral dress with a cream colored blouse.

I am creating...
Nothing at the moment. :) Still not ready to take up a new project yet.

I am going...
Down to the basement during nap time. I didn't get an opportunity to clean in the laundry room yesterday, so I am making the time for it today.

I am reading...
Article- "Celebrate the Sabbath!"
Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae

On my mind...
Oh, nothing in particular. It is a pretty calm place, above my shoulders. I guess that I am kind of thinking about what movies I would like to add to our Netflix.

Around the house...
The kitchen is getting attention today, just like every day. The bathroom is begging a scrubbing, and I am making a point to wash my own laundry today.

One of my favorite things...
Watching Little Bear accidentally sit in a bucket. It's pretty funny.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Get the laundry room cleaned up nicely
Take an inventory of my diapers {done!}
Box up diapers that are too small, for the next Mom-to-Mom sale
Scrub the inside of the refrigerator and also the inside of the dishwasher

Peaches, Prunes, & Poop. Oh MY!!

2011-05-16T19:39:00.000-07:00

It really just has been one of those days. If I were more easily intimidated, I think that I would have run for the disposable diapers.... or just let the boys play in the bathtub all day. Really, after what I've dealt with over the course of these last 12 or so hours, there is no recourse but to laugh myself silly over it.

Ok, for the past couple of days, Little Bear has been having a lot of poo. I'm talking about going 4+ times in a day. It's not that surprising though, because I have a hard time feeding each boy a different meal every time they eat, and so he has been eating the same food at Peanut. Ha. I'm not doing that anymore.

The day started out just fine. I gave Sissy some homework to do, and I took the boys' bottles to their room, where I could sit on the floor and feed them both at the same time. Normally, she helps me to feed them, but I wanted her to have more dedicated homework time, without the interruption. Anyway, after milk, I took the boys into the kitchen for some "pearsauce". (Why don't they make pearsauce, like applesauce? I think that it would be just as appealing to children.) I didn't want to give them anything too heavy, because Peanut had an awful poo the evening before, and we had to give him an enema to help him pass all of the ick. The poor, poor boy. So, the boys are eating their rice rusk "cookies", and LB starts making the face. I thought that maybe he was just pushing against his straps, because he does that all the time. He doesn't like "seatbelts" too much. Nope.

I picked LB up out of his chair, and his left felt oddly squishy. It took about half a second for it to click in my brain. Eww. Since he had been sitting, there was nowhere for it to go, but out. I had to peel everything off of the boy, all while he is trying desperately to get his hands right into the mess. It was so bad that I threw his pj's into a bucket to be washed out, and then put the boy in the bathroom sink for an impromptu bath-of-sorts. I got him all cleaned up, and then tried to do something productive with my day.

As I was putting the boys down for their nap, Peanut decided to sit up in bed, and started making a face. What is it with kids wanting to sit on their behinds while going? Why can't they lay down or stand up? Give it somewhere to go, I say! I tried to get him onto the changing table quickly, but it wasn't quick enough. For one reason or another, the fruit really got to him, and his poo was incredibly loose. Normally, a mom might be groaning over the thought of having another terrible diaper mess, but I was actually too relieved that he was actually going, it didn't bother me. There goes another change of clothes.

LB decided to poo with just about every diaper during the day. As I kept filling up the pail, I really was rolling my eyes over the copious amounts of ick that I was having to deal with. Then, the most hilariously horrible thing happened. Peanut had another crazy loose poo.... while he was sitting up on the living room rug! I scooped him up under the arms, and ran through the house with him, all the while hollering at Sissy, "Sis! Watch your brother! Oh no. Grab paper towel! Don't let him get in the poop!" Ha.

I feel like all I've been doing today is clean messy diapers.

All I can say is- I am very happy to have my trusty bucket and plunger. :) When things are particularly nasty, I'll give 'em swish in the toilet. That gets most of the ick off. Once solids are flushed, the diaper goes into a bucket of soapy water, and I use a plunger to firmly agitate everything. I'll usually leave those diapers to soak in the soapy water for the rest of the day, and then they can go in the evening diaper wash.

Hey, it works out pretty well. I don't have to touch much diaper mess at all. The only thing that would make things even easier would be to invest in a 5 gallon bucket with a lid. A handle-sized hole, and I would have a splash-free washing bucket that I could use to more vigorously was the dipes.

Daybook: May 16, 2011

2011-05-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

Outside My Window...
It is a bit grey and cold outside today. The kitties are sleeping in my flowerbed, curled up and keeping warm.

I am thinking...
A good cup of coffee is certainly needed. :)

I am thankful for...
The blessing of a good husband.

From the learning rooms...
Oh goodness, a jam-packed day full of many subjects. We have decided to move to a 4 day school week, so we get in as much as we possibly can. We've got multiplication, plotting coordinates on a graph, "time elapsed" word problems, sentence fragments, cursive writing w/ scripture verses, history of the colonies, etc.

From the kitchen...
Today is a day for roasting chicken. :) For dinner, we will have Roasted chicken, baked potato, seasoned roasted asparagus, and baked beans.

I am wearing...
A "seafoam" colored summer dress over a cream colored blouse with 3/4 length sleeves. I know that Flylady says that I should be dressed to the shoes, but I am running around barefoot.

I am creating...
Do piles of clean laundry count? Not so much? I have put all projects on hold for right now, so I can focus on other things that need to be done around the house. I will hopefully be starting my first cross stitch project soon though!

I am going...
Nowhere, other than down to the basement, and back up again. I have laundry to get in order, and I would like to start cleaning up my laundry room a bit, after my husband gets home (and can watch the babies).

I am reading...
Article- "Celebrate the Sabbath!"
Book- "To Pray As a Jew" by Hayim H. Donin
Book- "31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way" by Sarah Mae

On my mind...
I have been thinking that I need to talk with Peanut's doctor, and be more firm with her. I think that she needs to stop repeating herself, saying, "At his age, his constipation has to be diet related." I was talking with one of my psuedo-sisters, and she was telling me of a friend's baby, who had a "shelf" in his rectum that caused him a lot of pain and constipation, and it had to be fixed via surgery. These sort of things have me concerned that our pediatrician isn't doing enough to investigate the real cause of Peanut's distress, and helping me to "fix" it.

Around the house...
I have gotten much cleaning done, to get the house back in shape, after the weekend. There is much laundry to be finished up, and some minor scrubbing of sinks, floors, etc. Sissy is nearly done with her homework, and with her help, we will be done very quickly. (She is such a wonderful helper.)

One of my favorite things...
Watching babies take a simple dishpan, turn it over, and sit around it, "drumming" together.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week:

Get the laundry room cleaned up nicely
Take an inventory of my diapers
Box up diapers that are too small, for the next Mom-to-Mom sale
Scrub the inside of the refrigerator and also the inside of the dishwasher

Review: Cutey Baby Cloth Diapers

2011-05-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

My local grocery store is now carrying "Cutey Baby" diapering supplies, so I thought that I would pick one up, and try it out. After all, with the hard use that my diapers and covers get, going through a pair of twins, I will need to make some replacements in the near future.

The Cutey Baby diapers are an "All in 2" setup, a waterproof wrap with a microfiber insert that fits into a cut-out area in the diaper. My boys typically wear a 'large' size diaper, so that is what I bought in the CB. I skipped their brand of insert, because I'm not a huge fan of having polyester against the boys' private area. Instead, I always lay a cotton doubler in their diapers, even the microfiber BumGenius diapers that I have. So, since this wrap had that big cut-out area, I just stuffed it with my own diapering supplies.

I have to say that I haven't been impressed at all. The fit of this diaper is just... off. I've got boys with two different body shapes, and so I figured that this would fit on one of them at least. Eh, not so much.

Pros:

Soft on the outside
Gentle hook & loop closure (easy on my fingers)
Hook & loops sticks anywhere on the outside of the cover, allowing the overlapping of the tabs, for skinny babies.

Cons:

Awkward cut-out for the absorbent insert (wouldn't want to clean out poo caught between the insert and the edges of the cover. It's not a horrible thing, but certainly not the easiest setup.)
Far too stretchy. This might not seem like a bad thing at first, but it allows for an oddly loose fit and gaps. Baby moves one way, and the diaper wants to move the other, because it has no structural integrity of it's own.
The small "extra" H&L tabs! With the placement of the tabs, the diaper is held closed way on the back of the hips/back area, instead of just in the front hook & loop strip. With an impatient baby, it is rather difficult to get the diaper on and off, because it keeps sticking to itself in all sorts of goofy ways. It made me feel the same kind of frustration that I've had with long strips of tape. Bah! :o ) lol

All in all, I'm just not happy with this purchase. I'll use this diaper/wrap as a last resort, on laundry days. Otherwise, I'd just rather not bother with it.

Because we might not be here....

2011-05-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

There is a very good chance that I might not be online at all, possibly through the weekend. We are in the process of switching over to a different service provider for our internet, and while we thought that we'd have it all set up by now, we are having some difficulties. Our cable service is being "disconnected" at midnight, so there will most likely be a gap in our internet service. I only bother to make mention of it because so many of you, my family and friends, contact us through the internet (and primarily Facebook) most often.

If we are offline for a while, it will be good for us. The slight thread of panic in Sissy's voice, over the idea of being without the internet, it has convinced me that she desperately needs the "unplugged" time. I reminded her that there are still shows that she can watch on the tv, via our rooftop antenna. That seemed to quiet her down a bit. In the meantime, there are always books. She is currently reading her history book, because she finds that sort of thing interesting. (She enjoys reading her science textbook for fun, also.) We do also have the books that I downloaded to my Kindle. If she becomes horribly bored, I will give up my nifty reading device to her, and she can read "Inkspell".

Evening Wrap-Up

2011-05-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

It feels so good, that moment when the children are all asleep in bed, and I can sit down and put my feet up. I can let out that long breath, and then smile over the blessing of a full day.

This morning, I used the last of the blueberry bagels, toasting them for Sissy and myself. It is a treat. We don't usually have bagels in the house. Even though they are gone, we do have some yummy waffles that I made yesterday. I cooked up a large batch, and we put the leftovers in the fridge. They don't normally stay in there long enough to warrant putting them in the freezer, instead. So, while we won't have our morning bagel, we can still toast up some waffles and spread a little butter on them. No syrup is needed, just a glass of milk for my big girl, and a cup of coffee for this mama.

During the afternoon, I tried my hand at baking homemade dinner rolls. I was a little disappointed with how it turned out, but tomorrow is another day. I will just change what needs changing, and move on. (Seems to be the story of my life, these days...) The recipe that I had was too sweet, and they tasted a lot like Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, which are fine when you are wanting them, not so pleasing when you want a more savory bread. I also made the mistake of placing them too close together while they were baking, so the ones in the middle were a bit gooey still. The dog got those. Tomorrow, I am going to bake them with a couple of inches between them, and with half of the sugar that the recipe calls for. That should probably fix all of my bread woes. If it isn't painfully obvious, I don't generally bake bread every day. When I do bake bread, it is usually a loaf bread. Apparently, break-away rolls aren't as easy for this domestically challenged mama. *hehehe*

Since it was working out to be an afternoon of experimentation, I experimented in the diapering department also. I tried a new diaper fold, with my flats. I had been using an origami fold, but that can be a bit of a trial to manage with babies who flop around like fish. So, I folded my flats in half (long-ways), folded the bottoms up just under the edge of their bottoms, and gave the fronts a twist. I had seen the twist done with little babies, using prefolds. I can't use the twist fold with the the diapers folded into a square, because the boys are so big. Having that little extra rise though, it is great. It makes it nice and trim between their legs, and the twist falls right over their heavy-wetting area. It also gives me more room to pin or snappi the diaper, which is great. Because it was working out so well, I used all flat diapers today, and kept the AIO diapers stacked and ready for tomorrow.

Normally, we have school during the weekdays, but I decided to give Sissy the day off. We aren't going to take a "summer break", so it is good to give her some time to just relax. She spent much of the day reading. Sis has been just blazing through the "Guardians of Ga'Hoole" books. I think that she is on book number 8 now. I start to loose track, because she reads them so fast. It is good that she enjoys reading so much though. If there is one thing that makes me happy about homeschooling, it has been knowing that I have gifted Sissy with a skill that brings her so much pleasure. I am going to be a bit sad in the fall, when she begins attending public school again. I understand that it will be good for her to be around other children her age, so I am supportive of my husband's decision to enroll her. I am just going to miss her. She really is a wonderful buddy, and a great helper. With her beginning 5th grade in the fall, I want to keep all of her most important information fresh in her mind, which is why we'll continue the homework through summer. I would hate for her to get there and have forgotten simple things, like her multiplication tables.

When Daddy came home, it was time for the little boys to take a short nap. While the twins were napping, we bigger "kids" had a pasta dinner, and the goofed up rolls. Instead of using a tomato sauce today, I threw together an olive oil sauce, with garlic, onion, and parsley. I tossed it with some pan-seared chicken, added a little Parmesan cheese on top, and called it dinner. I thought that it was rather refreshing, and Daddy didn't seem to mind. Sissy said that she thought the noodles need a tomato sauce, a comment that I just ignored. *ha!* I cut her some slack because her favorite meal is spaghetti, so she is partial. She also has no concept of a cooler, lighter meal. Being that it was 80* in the house today, I didn't feel like a heavy meat sauce.

After dinner, Daddy headed outside to mow the lawn. He wasn't able to get to in over the weekend, because he had been too busy repairing damage to our roof. One of his buddies, that he knows through his job, came over to give him a hand and show him how to patch the areas where the shingles were blowing off. (His friend is a roofer by trade.) Now that the roof is repaired, we supposedly will be able to get a few more years out of it, before it needs replacing. That was a good gift! It was also hard work, made even more so when my dear husband decided that he needed to clean out the gutters, since he was already up on the ladder. He has gotten so much maintenance done around the house, and I am certainly appreciative of it.

Once DH was done mowing, Sissy helped me take the babies outside, and we spent some time in the yard. The boys tried to push themselves along the sidewalk, in their walkers. DH swept grass from the sidewalk and bagged it, while I raked the yard and Sissy watered our plants. Little Bear and Peanut seemed to really enjoy the refreshing breeze outside, and they had fun watching the cars drive by, and the people walking past the houses. We weren't able to stay out too late, because the mosquitoes came out, and one landed right in the middle of Little Bear's forehead. That seemed like a good indicator that it was time to get our sweet little bundles of skeeter-food back into the safety of our abode. :)

Our babies were pretty tuckered out by the time that we came in, so we gave them a little wipe-down and fresh drawers before they had a bit of supper. The boys are growing so big now, they are wanting to have a little more to eat before they go to bed. We are ever obliging. Sissy read her "Good and Evil" comic bible storybook before "lights-out", and DH and I are occupying ourselves with our little quiet activities.

Tomorrow morning and afternoon will be pretty busy, or at least more busy than it normally is. (Every morning is busy with two infants to feed and change.) I need to finish getting the house picked up before the Sabbath, so I can rest happily, without looking at messies. We are also having some company over tomorrow evening. DH's father is coming by to visit. He hasn't been here in a few months, but DH was finally able to reach him by telephone. DH invited him to come by and visit with his grandchildren, so "Pap" is making a point to drop in on us after DH gets home from work. I don't know if he will stay for dinner, but I'll be sure to make extra.

Parting

2011-05-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Genesis 13:8-9

So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”

This struck me today. For the sake of peace, and with no hard feelings, Abram and Lot separated. I've spent a lot of time and energy, trying to keep family close, when maybe that isn't the right way to approach things. I've hoped that we could all be at peace, and being that even a righteous Abram wasn't able to find a way to work out the same thing with his own close family, I shouldn't feel so deeply saddened by my "failure".

I think that it is the matter of bitterness and hurt feelings that causes me trouble in my heart. There is nothing that I can do about it though, and as a friend reminded me, these things need to be given over to the Lord. There is no point in being sick at heart over these things that I have no control over, and cannot change. The condition of a person's heart is between them and God. I will just endeavor to try and be loving enough to fill in the gaps, so that one that I love is not overcome by despair and loneliness. Sure, I cannot give the love and relief that the Lord can. My loved one will need to look to him to fill up all of the broken places. I am happy to extend my love and affection though, and will do my best to obey my Father when he commands: "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." (Exodus 20:12)

I pray that Father grants us all peace, even in separation.

Just One of Those Days....

2011-05-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling kind of dumpy today, and the overcast weather surely isn't helping. It's been raining for the past few days, and the sun has been quite elusive. I'm sad to say that with it being mostly cloudy, it makes me at least partly cloudy.

It appears that my little Bear has gotten my cold. I don't know if it will get as bad as mine has been, but he was quite congested over the night. At about 5:30 am, I was resting with him in the recliner, trying to let him sleep against my chest, so the drainage could move out of his face as he sucked his thumb. He is a tummy-sleeper, and that certainly doesn't help anything when he is congested. Being in a more upright position seemed to make a big difference though, and after a little while, I took him into bed with me.

I find it mildly amusing that a 22 lb. child can nearly chase me out of my own bed. Since LB sleeps so well in his own bed, and I don't allow tummy-sleeping in my bed, he rarely comes to cuddle with me. I kept him on his back though, and then LB proceeded to wiggle all around until he had manage to "push" me half off of the bed. It was good to see him sleeping well though, since he had spent so much time flopping around in bed, trying to find a way to breathe comfortably. Poor thing.

I'm glad that Peanut slept reasonably well last night. He didn't like going to bed, but once he settled down, he slept ok. I think that teething has been much of his problem. His left front tooth has erupted quite far through the gums, and the thing is huge. I feel a little bad that it looks like he might have my big 'ole horsey teeth. It's a little early to tell what it will all look like once his teeth come in, but I can see now why he has been in so much pain. He is getting in a ton of teeth, and they are quite large. I think that I counted 4 teeth that I can see coming in through the top, and two on the bottom. Bear has two erupted teeth on the bottom, and I can see one shining through the gums on the top, nearly ready to make it's appearance.

Like I said, getting the boys into bed last night was a trial. Things are more difficult, now that they can sit up. (Peanut just started pushing himself off of his elbow, sitting all the way up on his own! He did it for the first time on Saturday.) Now, instead of just pouting and playing around with things, they get upset and fall all over themselves. Thankfully, Peanut hasn't been so bad about it, but Bear is pretty awful. He is constantly falling over and bonking himself. Last night, he fell backwards into the corner of his crib, and couldn't find a way to get himself out. So, we had to rescue him. Then, Peanut did the very same thing! I was doing a bit of heavy sighing the next time that Bear started fussing, but when I went into their bedroom- I found him standing!! He had pulled himself up into a standing position for the very first time. Of course, he isn't used to steadying himself like that on a squishy bed, but he couldn't find a way to get back down when he got tired. So, he started crying. DH grabbed the camera and snapped a couple of pictures for the baby book, and then I picked the little guy up and hugged him and told him what a great job he had done.

Peanut isn't quite ready to be standing up on his own yet, but I am so happy with the progress that he has made. It wasn't so long ago that he didn't want to bear any weight on his feet, for some reason. He really had all of us worried, including his doctor. I was thinking that we were in for some physical therapy, if we couldn't get him to bear weight on his feet, and he wasn't inclined to really sit up. However, he watches Bear a lot. He seems to take comfort in seeing what his brother is doing, and knowing that it means it is ok for him to do also. Peanut, though he has a rather loud voice and fierce temper, he is really quite an insecure little guy. Sometimes I think that he really is quite like Piglet. He is so afraid of things like the blender, the vacuum, and even the sound of me coughing or blowing my nose. I feel bad for him! When we went over to his aunt's house, he got a look of her big black dog, and he completely lost it. He screamed for all he was worth, at least until the dog left the room. He is just a frightened little Piglet. In contrast to that though, he also seems to have his father's temper. So, sometimes he is kind of like Rabbit, too. For the most part, Little Bear really is so much like Pooh. He loves his "honey" (aka- FOOD!), and he is the biggest cuddle-bear around. That's not to say that Peanut isn't a loveable squish in his own right. He is just smaller and likes to wiggle into a comfortable spot to snuggle.

If we are playing this little game, I guess that Sissy would be the most like Kanga. She is loving and caring, and always trying to do all of the "motherly" things that she can. When I called for DH to bring the camera last night, it was Sis who was at my side first, though she had gone to bed. She is just as interested an invested in these little boys as we adults are. She just has such a big heart.

Happy Friday :o )

2011-04-29T11:32:00.000-07:00


Not what he had in mind!

For a day with my face stuck in a box of kleenex, it hasn't been too bad so far! *lol* I took some store-brand Sudafed knock-off last night, and it didn't do anything to help all of the leaking in my face. I should have known better. I bought this stuff from the store because the pharmacy had been closed, so you know that it doesn't have the pseudophedrine in it. I probably should have taken the good Mucinex that I have, but those things are HUGE. I choke whenever I try to get one down.

None of that is particularly important, except that when I don't take medicine for all of this junk in my face, I apparently scare the children. Peanut, in particular, has a very negative reaction to my coughing, hacking, and nose-blowing. He pretty much freaks out. It's almost as bad as running the blender or the vacuum. (I have been letting him hold the sealed-up baby blender cup a little bit, and smiling and talking to him as I start the blender. It is *helping*. There is nothing to be done about the vacuum though. Absolute panic. Poor kid.)

Diapers got washed last night, and I broke down and used the machine to wash them while I slept. I know. If I had been more "on the ball", I could have hung them to dry during the afternoon. I'm just not that good right now. As it was, my dear husband came home from work and promptly fell asleep, instead of helping me feed the boys. There isn't anything wrong with that, but being that this virus has taken over my brain, I felt vaguely like throwing a cooked sweetpotato at him. I did curb this terrible urge though, and just gave him a hug when he woke up, instead. I've been redeemed by the Lord, but that doesn't mean that I don't have my own sinful urges from time to time. hehe. :) All of that to say, I didn't feel like washing diapers. Nope.

I am happy to report that after getting his belly full of sweetpotato, Peanut promptly utilized said vegetable to fill his diaper. There was some grunting, a little straining, but no squalls of pain. Thank you, Father. I sometimes feel like the only weird mother around who changes a FULL diaper that is leaking out the leg holes, and trying to climb up the back, with exclamations of, "What a great job you did! That is a wonderful, huge poop!" These are conversations with my rather non-verbal kid that make me stop for a moment to ponder whether I need more adult interaction. *lol* It's a possibility, I'm sure. Still, he did a very good job. I had to tell him so. Messy poo can be cleaned up. It is far easier to deal with than wiping tears (both mine and his), when he is so bound up that he is screaming as he tries to go. It is taking me some time to learn what he can and cannot eat. I've realized that I cannot listen to his doctor's advice on this all that much. Peanut is no longer "allowed" to eat grains, not for the time being. She can act like I am being foolish, but she doesn't live with him and take care of him. Seeing the boy once every couple of months doesn't make her an expert on what affects his digestive health.

This morning, after scaring Peanut with the noises of my nose, I blended up some mango for their breakfast. Since we are all out of sweetpotato, the boys are having mixed vegetables for lunch, along with their milk. I'm going to hold off on the sippie cup practice until dinner time. They are making a lot of progress with the sippies, though neither one of them cares to actually hold the cup themselves. Sometimes I think that they are rather lazy boys, since they don't care to really attempt it. Then again, Peanut doesn't even want to put his own puff snacks into his mouth. He is like a baby bird. He flaps his wings around and makes a great fuss, waiting for me to put them in his mouth. I find it mildly amusing, since he is perfectly capable of feeding himself. In fact, he takes great pleasure in picking the puffs up... and throwing them on the floor. (He loves throwing things, the naughty boy. )

Little Bear, however, is just fine with feeding himself puffs. He had trouble at first, because his hands get damp, and then the puff stick to his fingers and palms. He has examined the problem, and now uses the stickiness to his advantage. Puffs can't run away from you when they are stuck to your hand. These baby puff snacks are rather addictive, I think. The boys go nuts over them. I use that to my advantage. I only give them puffs when I need them to be patient, while I get their "spoon food" together. It's all just practice anyway. Maybe now that they are seeing bits of fluff as food, maybe I can get them to TRY and pick up soft vegetable chunks to snack on. Seeing how LB likes to "drum" on his food, and how Peanut likes to throw it. I might just hold off on that a while longer, for the sake of my own sanity. Have no fear. I promise that they will eat like normal children, even if I don't give them their own flatwear and squishy food right now.

I find all of those articles on raising babies to be rather funny. It is all about teaching children how to do all of these "big people" things, as if they won't figure it out as time goes by. Sure, it is fun to watch them try to feed themselves air with a spoon. Ok, at least until they gag themselves and lose their milk. Still, everyone is in such a rush to "equip" babies with life skills. If my kid hasn't figured out how to get a cereal puff off of the end of his finger, does it make much sense to give him a spoon to scoop it up with? Hahaha. It's just a way to make more dirty dishes, I'm sure. I'm just not in a hurry with any of it. There isn't going to be some big push for potty training, eating with utensils, reading, etc. What do you want to bet that the kids are still going to be able to feed themselves, complete schooling, and not go to college in diapers? :) I'm going to just enjoy laughing as LB tries to find the elusive puff on the back of his hand, and Peanut impersonates a baby bird. It's cute, and it will all be gone so fast. I appreciate the magazines reminding me of what kind of motor-skill milestones we would probably be reaching at this stage, but I'm not going to feel bad or anything if we slow things down and just enjoy babies being babies for a while.

I think that we have finally found a rhythm in the house that works alright for all three of the kiddos. Sissy is getting her homework done in peace. The boys have started spacing out their own meals, and are now eating every 4 hours, instead of three. On our current schedule, my dear husband and I even get a chance to eat our own dinners. So long as no one has an "emergency", like getting a leg stuck through the crib bars or a bad dream, then all of the children go to bed at the same time! For the most part, we are all sleeping well. Things have gotten much better since Peanut's teeth finally erupted. He still gets a tad fussy from time to time, but he also is the kid with a bit of attitude. Sometimes I have to let him just get over whatever is bothering him, by letting him fuss on his own. If anything bad is bothering him, I will do my best to soothe him and make things right. However, sometimes Peanut just wants to yell at me a little bit if I don't do what he wants. Oh... you know... like if I don't get a spoon into his mouth fast enough, or if I dare give his brother a bite. We can't, after all, expect that LB could eat also. Silly boy. He is SO much like his father. I think that just means that Daddy is going to have to spend a lot of time with him as he gets older, teaching him how to calm himself and not get so worked up.

I've talked a lot about Peanut, but LB has been doing a lot of growing and learning this week, too! Can I just say that he is the most darling little stinker-butt? LB is our BIG little boy, that is for sure. I wouldn't say that he is particularly chubby, but he is very solid. He is also adventurous and not content to wait around for good things to find him. This week, LB has been working on standing up. I can't tell you how many times we have hurriedly grabbed the camera, thinking that he was going to pull himself up on his own. He would start on his knees, pull a foot up under him.... and then get distracted by a toy. He's too funny.

Little Bear has been doing a lot of teething, too. He only seems to have two teeth right now, both on the bottom. He is kind of like a little beaver. I took some fleece and wrapped his crib rail, to keep him from getting wood splinters in his mouth. I was going to do both sides, but he seems so distracted by the little knots and tails on the fleece, he would rather play with them than bite the crib. He does still try to teeth on the rails of the play yard, but they are metal. More often than not, he ends up with his forehead smooshed against the rails, just kind of sucking on the metal.... and then smiling at me with that goofy smile.

Oh! I just want to say that our play yard has been a life saver!! I would definitely recommend it to any parent of multiples, or even just parents who want their baby to have more room to move around. Our boys spend a lot of time playing in their yard, because it is the safest place for them. There are no doors in our main living area, and I certainly don't want the boys to sneak off into the kitchen to play, or to be heading down the hallway to splash around in the toilet. So, for the time being, they have their own play area, where everything that they can reach is perfectly fine for them to fiddle with and put in their mouths. I've layered lots of padding in the bottom, and this has been great for the multitude of times that the boys have fallen over and bonked their heads. You know how it is when they learn how to sit up on their own, and it doesn't get much better when they get good at it.... and more ambitious. That's not to mention, the play yard saves my laundry from my Little Bear. He just can't help himself. If he can reach the laundry, he must pile it all on himself, and stuff as much of it into his mouth as possible. Since he has no lint trap, we do our best to keep him out of the laundry. (I do, on occasion, give them a small basket of receiving blankets to play with though.)

Well, it is that time. I've got to go get bottles ready. Then, it is off to hang towels on the line, and actually wash *gasp* some of MY own clothes. lol

Nine Months!

2011-04-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

Hey, my boys are 9 months old today! That is pretty cool, if you ask me. Of course, you didn't.... but I still think it is cool anyway. Ha. :)

The time has just flown by, in that weird way that time has. Oh, you know. It feels like just yesterday that they were born, but at the same time- they have been with us forever. Strange. That is the wonderful thing about having babies, I think. We figured that our family was quite wonderful as it was, and that was a very happy place to be, since we didn't believe that we could have any more children (safely) anyway. Now that we have these two little guys though, it's impossible to wrap our brains around NOT having them here with us. We are so glad and thankful for every day that we are given, because they truly are blessings. We love all of our children so very much.

Even Sissy has gone through some big changes since the boys came home from the hospital. You know, she wasn't able to hold a baby very well at first, even though they were only about 7 lbs. each. Now, however, she is carrying babies around that easily weigh 1/3 of her body weight. She's gone from not knowing how she feels about them, to deeply loving her little brothers. Any time that something is going "wrong" and a baby starts wailing, she is usually the first on scene. If someone bonks their head, or even if Peanut has a reflux moment and starts choking a little bit, she sprints through the house to save the day. Sis really is just the best big sister that these little guys could hope for. I look forward to the time when they are old enough to call her name and give her big baby hugs, and to tell her how much they love her. I can see it in how they react to her, but she might not be as aware of these things as I am. I just know how much it would touch her heart, knowing how special she is to them.

Goodness, how quickly they grow. Sissy has one more year of elementary school, before she moves on to middle school. Even Daddy remarked the other day that she doesn't look like a little girl anymore. We both understand that our time is relatively short now, and that in a few more years, she is going to be trying to forge her own path.

The boys are working on a completely different skill set when it comes to paths. *lol* They are still learning how to pick up one foot at a time, and not fall over. Yeah, they aren't quite up for walking yet. They don't actually care for crawling on their hands and knees either. Both boys enjoy the "army crawl" at the moment, though Little Bear is moving from a crawling position to sitting up, and then trying to get his feet under himself. He might bypass the hands & knees crawling all together, if he can figure out how to walk. I don't know about Peanut. He is still working on how to get off of his elbow, so he can sit all the way up on his own. He is taking a more physical route to sitting up, whereas LB kind of cheated and started using the bars of the play yard and the crib to pull himself up. Peanut doesn't seem interested in pulling on the bars, and instead is trying very hard to just muscle his way upright. It hasn't worked yet. I think that he may be developing a "6 pack", however. Hehehe.

Why the Wool Matters

2011-04-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Peanut, wearing woolie shorts that his mama made for him.

I have "heavy wetters". Seriously, I don't know how they go so much, since I know how much they drink. Still, they are certainly little puddle makers. In an effort to keep Little Bear's skin happy, we've kept the boys in disposable diapers overnight, and have been shelling out the big bucks for the Huggies Overnight diapers. I really like how absorbent they are, and LB's skin doesn't seem to mind them. I'd like to switch the boys over to cloth diapers over the night, but I am still a little nervous about it, seeing how LB's skin has reacted.

Anyway, though the overnight diapers are really good, I've still found that because the boys (LB in particular) are so active... we've still ended up with leaks. Bear is almost always sitting up in bed now, and he flops around and plays, and tries to pull himself up to gnaw on his crib. He is just all over the place. His diaper is having a hard time following where he is going, I think. So, I have started pulling on woolie shorts over all of their diapers, whether cloth of disposable. It has eliminated any problems that I've had, needing to peel off wet clothes from the boys in the morning. Whatever sneaks around the diaper gets absorbed by the wool, and it cuts down a wee bit on my copious amounts of laundry. It may be just a wee bit, but it saves us a lot of tears. The boys are so hungry in the morning, they just sob and sob if I am standing there changing their clothes, instead of stuffing a bottle into their mouth. Woolie shorts are keeping the boys happy, and happy babies make for a happy mama. So, that should explain a little more why I keep talking about woolies, and why my Facebook statuses are inundated with mentions of my crocheting of said woolies. I am frantically trying to amass a large enough "stash" that I can rotate through and keep the boys in fresh woolie bottoms, and much of that means crocheting my little fingers off, since sewn woolie bottoms are more expensive.

I did try finding wool sweaters at my local thrift store, so that I might sew my own woolie bottoms. For some reason, wool sweaters are terribly hard to find there, and they want a lot for them. It is actually more reasonable to pay a couple dollars more and have someone else sew them up for me. Weird.

A Day of Teeth

2011-04-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very rough day. Everything was going pretty good, right up until lunch time. Peanut, yet again, wasn't wanting to drink his milk. He is very, very bad about rejecting his bottle. This causes us a lot of worry, because he is now a skinny little boy. He used to be in the 75% percentile, and we were even fine when he dropped to the 50% percentile for weight. Then, he dropped down to the 30% percentile, and things haven't improved any since then. The child just adores his spoon, but it is so difficult to get enough fluids into him that his solid food doesn't have him horribly constipated.

I've tried playing games with the boy, talking sternly to him, and have even taken to spoon-feeding him his milk. I've done just about everything that I can think of, and still it's a struggle. Doc, in her infinite wisdom {insert a wee bit of eye-rolling here}, said that Peanut just needed a faster flow nipple and to use a sippy cup more. Ha! We use the sippy whenever I can, but I have to basically squirt the liquids into his mouth, because he still doesn't understand how to suck on something that isn't a nipple. Then again, he doesn't want to suck on anything anyway, so.... yup. I am left to just squeeze the cup and squirt it into his mouth. At least he is swallowing most of it. His nipple flow is just fine, though he likes to examine it by slapping me and the bottle until he can grab the full nipple... and squirt milk all over us and the furniture. Good fun.

Teething sucks.

On top of dealing with two teething babies, there was the tooth problems that my dear husband was dealing with. He called around lunch time to tell me that his wisdom tooth gave up, and it broke in half. The soonest that the dental office said that they could get him in was the beginning of June, so he had been trying to just be very careful with that tooth. Obviously, that didn't work all that well. He called the dental office, told them that he had an emergency situation, and they got him in later that same afternoon. Why couldn't they have done something like that for him before his tooth broke in half? DH said that it literally took them 10 minutes in the chair, and then he was walking out the door, so I don't understand why they tried putting him off for months.

Anyway, DH had his mouth packed with gauze when he came home, and he was starting to feel the pain. So, he took some pain meds and went to bed. Usually, I am so very happy to have him at home, because dealing with the boys is SO much easier with an extra set of hands. He wasn't able to help me though, so I was trying to feed a couple of unfeedable boys, while Sissy ate her own dinner.

It didn't work.

I ended up putting the bottle down. I set both boys in the play yard, and I left the room. I just had to. I've come to recognize that there are some times when that is just the best thing that I can do. I was on the verge of tears, and feeling less than kindly towards my little men- who never deserve any angry-grumpies. They, of course, started hollering and carrying on as soon as they realized that I was leaving them behind. I had to just ignore them though. Eventually, they both settled down, and then Peanut and LB started playing with one another in a most adorable way.

After a while, DH was feeling well enough that he got up to have some of the soup that I made for him (which means "us" also). While he had napped, I ran up to the drugstore and picked up his scrip for his pain meds. So, he filled his tummy and killed some pain, and he felt quite fine enough to try wrangling a pesky infant in my stead. It was almost funny, watching him go through the same nonsense that I did. It makes me feel validated in my frustration, that it isn't just me that is somehow broken and unable to do something so simple as feed a kiddo.

Neither boy cared to really eat dinner either, but we did give them some banana in their nibbler teething feeder thingies. Ha! Not hungry, my foot! While they didn't want to bother with their milk, they attacked the banana. I do mean attacked. Peanut sounded like a little Tasmanian Devil. He wouldn't even hold the handle of the contraption. Instead, he grabbed the net bag and kept squeezing it as he stuffed as much into his mouth as he could. He made his crazy devil sounds while squishing out huge, messy globs of banana. Num, num, num. He was such a mess, but a happy one. That is, he was happy until I had to take his nibbler away, and didn't put any more banana into it. Ooooo. I almost expected his head to start spinning around.

While Peanut was carrying on like a possessed thing, Little Bear was happily chewing and sucking his banana down with quiet efficiency. That kiddo is all about getting the food in his tummy. There is no wasting it by squeezing with his hands. Hehe. Nope. I think that he ate half of the banana before Peanut even got started. He did get pretty sad when I took his nibbler away, but I made both of the boys much happier by giving each of them a "cookie" (read: banana flavored rice "biscuit").

It took a long time for us to get enough milk and food into the boys that they would settle down for bed. By 10:30 pm, the boys were sleeping soundly, and I was about ready to pass out myself. Instead, I sat down in my chair, and DH and I read a little and watch a bit of tv. Thankfully, the boys slept quite well through the night. I don't know that this afternoon is going to be much better than yesterday, but at least I am rested and feeling better able to deal with the craziness that is two teething cookie monsters.

Of Butt Covers

2011-04-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was pay-day, and being the second pay of the month, that meant that I had a little money that I could pull aside for my own purposes. After spending some of my insomniac time at the netbook, browsing etsy, I found some fine ladies who were selling wool longies and shorties for reasonable prices. So, I marked the items that looked quite wonderful, and then came back and bought them once I had my pocket money.

I have to say that there are times when the diaper + onesie combination annoys me. I can't be the only mother who has had their child's shirt wiggle into their leg crease, and become wet. It doesn't matter whether you use cloth or disposables, the same thing happens. This is why I adore wool shorties. Sure, it probably looks a little funny, snapping a onesie over shorties. Maybe other people just put their kiddos in t-shirts. My boys are still young enough that they end up with t-shirts over their faces, instead of their tummies. So, I like shirts that stay down. Shorties are great, because there is no way for the onesie to wiggle into the diaper. I can even pull a pair of thin knit pants over the shorties, and the boys don't get too hot. I am sure that this won't be true during the summer, but our situation won't be the same over the summer either. I doubt that the boys will be wearing shirts very often, once it becomes that hot.

I also found a nice neutral pair of wool pants that the boys can wear. They are very soft, and I think that they would be perfect for those chilly evenings that sneak up on us. They are big enough that I will have to cuff them for now, but at least that means that the boys can wear them for longer. I am sure that they will be useful come next fall/winter.

While the boys are playing out in the grass, I am going to just pin on very simple folded diapers. They won't need covers, since I will most likely have to hose them off before I bring them in the house anyway. Hehehe. I will just let them sit in the grass in their cloth, and let everything breathe.

When we are inside, however, I have the fitted diapers that the boys can wear under their woolie shorts. There are the simple flannel diapers that I've sewn, but I also have my absolute favorite diapers- Green Mountain fitted "Workhorse" diapers. These are my absolute favorite diapers. I haven't found any other prefold diapers that I like, other than those by Green Mountain. They are very thick, and I used to use the prefolds for the boys, when they were smaller. I still have a couple dozen of the "small" prefolds that we use as burp cloths. (When you have a child with reflux and projectile vomiting, you use anything super absorbent to catch all of the mess. It's terrible.) I still use some of these to stuff inside my homemade pocket diapers.

The fitted diapers are great for wearing underneath wool shorts or pants. My husband doesn't mind them, because they snap, so he doesn't become injured by my pins. They stay on real well, and they catch all of the mess. I really enjoy that I don't have to turn them inside-out for them to dry, since the sewn-in soaker is free in the front. They really are wonderful diapers, and I've found that I much prefer them to the "All in One" diapers. Sure, you need a cover. However, I find that I need to cover the AIOs with something also, because they wick moisture out of the leg holes, because there aren't any inner gussets like you would find on something like a Thirsties diaper cover. So, I add extra absorbency, and I keep a pair of fleece pants available to pull on over the diapers. If you have to be so careful with the AIOs, and they take so much longer to dry, what is the point?

And Time Marches On

2011-04-18T10:36:00.000-07:00

Our little boys are growing up so fast. It's made even more evident when I look at Sissy, and I think about quickly she has grown into a young lady. When we first bought this house, she was so small that we put an old history textbook on the bathroom floor, so she could stand on it to reach the light switch. She was only 3 years old when we moved in. It's hard to believe that it's been 7 years. Goodness, how many things have happened and gone by in that single-digit span of time.

Trystin would be 11 years old now. His hair was so light at birth, I wonder if it would have looked a little like Little Bear's, the way that his hair glows with the sunshine. I never did get to see the color of his eyes, but I imagine that maybe we did have a little boy or two with Daddy's brown eyes. I think that DH is just slightly disappointed that neither Peanut nor LB have brown eyes, like his.

Ezra would be old enough to go to school now. It's so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that it has been so long. The pain of separation does strange things inside a heart, and it obviously isn't touched by time the same way that my body is. I've got these white hairs growing out of my head, and tiny little creases starting at the corners of my eyes. They are just small hints of what is to come. Time just keeps marching by, whether I am ready for it to pass or not.

My big girl, who at one time couldn't reach the light switch, is now nearly 5' tall. My little boys, whom I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to keep, they are now 38 weeks old. They have now been held in our arms longer than they were cradled inside my body. It is a beautiful thing, and startling in how quickly it has happened. We've moved out of footed sleepers (for the most part), and into the land of socks and shoes. This weekend, DH and I had to go and buy convertible car seats for the boys, because we couldn't squish LB into his infant seat any longer.

There are some perks though, that come along with the boys getting a wee bit older. We were all able to go out for dinner, and we adults could EAT. Ha! It feels wonderful to have us all sitting together at the same table, sharing a meal. The boys ate their cereal first, and then played happily and made smilie-faces at all of the passersby. We learned that Sissy is too "old" to bother with the children's menu any longer. There just isn't enough food to satisfy her. So, we supplemented her meal with bits of food from our adult plates. A small piece of steak from Dad's plate, and some broccoli from mine. Ah, and of course a bit of the appetizer. Yum-O. It amazes me, how much food she is capable of putting away, and yet she just keeps growing UP, and as skinny as a rail.

Shopping for car seats was even rather enjoyable! Some people may take these things for granted, but it isn't easy doing anything outside of the house with multiples. Sissy is such a help though, and now that the boys are able to sit up in the shopping carts and play with the toys attached to their shopping cart covers, Daddy and I had the freedom to fondle each of the car seats in the store. Everyone was happy, and we packed everyone up in the van, and then smiled at one another. We're at the point where we surprise ourselves every once in a while with the, "Hey, we can do this!", smile. I am sure that everything will melt down and turn funky again when the boys are a wee bit older, but for now they are good. We don't have many tantrums at all, and the biggest worries that we have involve bodily fluids. If things stay this good, we might be able to go out once every couple of weeks, to have a dinner away from home. This is about as close as we come to a "date night". It is alright though. We love our kids, and if we went out without them, we would just end up talking about them the whole time. Hehehe.

Invigorating Sunshine

2011-04-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

It feels so good to have the sun pouring through the windows. I had a bout of insomnia last night, and while I didn't get to sleep until after 4 a.m., the sunshine has perked me right up!

Today, I told Sissy that we were going to move our school time toward the late afternoon and evening hours, and use the earlier part of the day for enjoying sunshine and getting much needed housework done. So, instead of heading to the white board for a lesson on algebraic expressions, we wrote down areas of the house that need attention. Funny. To be serious, every part of the house needs attention. Welcome to life with twins. Suffice it to say, it is really something when Sis walks into the living room and says, "Ooo... Clean!"

Yesterday, I found a way to rig up a clothesline outside. It isn't much, and it certainly isn't fancy. I used a length of plastic clothesline, and I tied it up high on the two pillars at the front of our garage. Like I said, it isn't much of anything, but it does work just fine. I was able to hang diapers out to dry. The sun did wonders for the white cotton, bleaching it much whiter than it was. Woohoo. While I am hanging some smaller baby things out there, any heavy-duty clothes drying will wait until my sweetheart puts up a real clothesline for me.

It has been a little too windy to have the boys outside for any decent period of time. I don't want them getting any more sniffles than they already have. It would be nice to have a good 70* day though, so I could put the boys' play yard outside, and they could wrestle around on a blanket while I clean up the flower beds and spread fresh mulch. Since that doesn't look to be happening any time real soon, I might just try and sneak out there between the showers, this weekend. If I ask real nice, maybe DH would pick up a few bags of red mulch for me, at the Home Depot on Friday. He is always in there, for work, anyway.

I have some ugly diapers....

2011-04-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

While I do like the simplicity of diaper flats, I have to admit to being less than stellar at getting my boys into them. Oh, I practice. That can be dangerous to do with little boys, as I'm sure that you can imagine. However, I lay them down and try rolling and folding, and pinning in any number of ways that look like they may work. Sometimes everything is beautiful, but more often than not.... it's all just a mess. That is usually about the time when I grab a BumGenius diaper and a pair of fleece pants. (I like the idea of BG diapers, but they tend to wick way too much moisture out the leg holes.)

Lately, what I am finding the most helpful is the simplest of pocket diapers. I don't even bother with elastic. I've used flannel that I've found around the house, and even an old t-shirt, and I've cut out the basic diaper shape. I take some scraps, and I'll sew a couple layers onto one of my diaper panels, for a wee soaker. Other than that, I just take two diaper cut-outs and stitch them together, leaving the "back end" open. Yup, I make fugly diapers. They aren't particularly pretty, because sewing isn't my strong suit. My stitches are all crooked, and my seam allowances are a little wonky. Still, they work out just fine. With the huge pocket, I fold up my diaper flat and just slide it in, while I'm holding the diaper laundry. It is much easier to fold the contour diaper around a baby, and pinning is SO much easier with flaps.

Out of all of my ugly diapers, my t-shirt diaper is the ugliest. There must be some skill to sewing stretchy fabric, and I don't have it. My edges didn't quite line up right, and I spent a lot of time fussing with it. Still, for as unattractive as it is, it is my favorite. I used one of my most favorite shirts. It was splitting at it's seams, and it had a breast pocket that was tearing off. The material is so soft, and the stretchiness that caused me so much trouble during sewing, it is wonderful when wrapping up a baby. I did try putting elastic in this one, but I didn't get it quite tight enough while I was sewing. D'oh. It all still works though.

More terribly ugly diapers are on the way, now that I am having to get rid of so many of my medium-sized diapers. Peanut can still kind of wear the medium, but Little Bear is way too humungous for them. He is aptly nicknamed. Instead of investing $8 apiece on new fitted prefolds, I just bought some organic flats to get us by. To make my life easier, I also picked up a very large flannel bed sheet at the thrift store, and I am going to make more of my simple pocket diapers. Once the weather is consistently warm enough, we will spend plenty of time outside. I won't even bother with covers for the boys. Who cares if they get a little pee-pee on the grass? I'd let them sit there naked, if they wouldn't get their little butts tickled, or have to worry about pesky ants.

Getting by has become a lot more expensive these days. I am looking forward, seeing that we will be spending way too much money trying to get Sissy to school, come the fall. DH says that I shouldn't be too concerned, and that it will just work out. I think that he forgets that most times, things work out because I am laying in bed with my eyes closed, thinking of new ways to make things work. Everything doesn't magically fall into place, at least not most of the time. I fully believe in leaning on the Lord. I just tend to think that he wants us to be busy, doing what we can, and being good stewards with what he gives us. So, no more expensive diapers for us. The boys will have to be happy with funny looking flannel diapers, made from bed sheets and t-shirts. :)

Warmer Weather

2011-04-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

It has been so nice, this warm front that has come through. It's been pretty warm, around 80* or so, but not too hot. Yesterday, we went for a walk, as a family outing. It's not every day that Daddy comes out with us, just to walk around the neighborhood. So, it felt absolutely wonderful. <3

The last time that it was real warm out, the boys were newly born! They really don't know what it is like to be out in the sunshine. Since they are now able to sit up well enough to take a comfortable ride in the stroller, we settled them in, and then tried to pull the sun covers up over them as much as possible. While we were walking, I was still a little concerned about their feet getting sunburned, but we didn't stay out long enough for that.

All of the fresh air and sun really affected the boys, zapping the energy right out of them. They weren't able to even finish their bottles before they started nodding off. Peanut regrouped and was able to stay awake a little longer, but Little Bear was completely "out".

Sissy was so funny. When she got dressed, she had jeans and a long-sleeved shirt on. I told her that it was going to be too warm for that, and she didn't believe me! She did change her shirt, and I got a laugh out of the fact that she chose a t-shirt with a snowman on it. While we walked with the boys, Sis had fun with her scooter, cruising down the sidewalk in front of us. It would have been nice for her to take her bike, but it needs a little maintenance. Her scooter is still fun though, and she got a little exercise, along with her sunshine.

Another development that came along with nicer weather is Sissy's desire to sow some seeds. Daddy is talking about putting in a box garden for us, and using the wooden sides of the garden beds to help stabilize dirt as he tries to level out the backyard. If we work quickly, I am sure that we can manage that. I don't know how much it will cost to buy all of that fill-dirt though. He needs to gather some numbers for me, along with a short list of buddies who might help him spread the dirt, because my back won't allow me to move that much weight. I guess that we don't have to get the dirt in right away, so long as the garden boxes are build and filled with good soil. The sides of the boxes just need to be higher than the new ground level that we will have.

Sissy and I are going to try and make our own version of a "topsy-turvy" tomato grower, using materials from around the house. I have some empty water jugs and plastic clothesline that we can use to make our planters. I'm not sure how big our plants will grow, or if we can even make it work. Still, it sounds like a fun project. We will even be able to reuse our empty baby formula cans as small planters, where we can start our seeds. The weather is still so volatile, I am concerned that some of our plants would be destroyed if we were to sow all of our seeds directly. So, I am going to reserve a few for starting inside, and we'll directly sow the rest. If our crops are staggered a little, that will be a little more helpful, I think. Sissy wants to grow Zinnias, so I need to find a nice spot in the flower bed for her to put them. For our vegetables, we are going to grow green beans on the fence, and we'll also plant tomatoes, green peppers, banana peppers, and some zucchini. Next year, if money is tighter than it is now, we'll go ahead and expand the garden. This smaller garden will be a good learning experience for Sissy, that is for sure. Next year, we can give the boys little shovels, and they can help us dig in the dirt, and make little holes for our rows of seeds.

Hello Baby Mum-Mum!

2011-04-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

I've been a bit hesitant to give the boys teether cookies, because they didn't have any teeth. After all, teeth are rather important when it comes to eating something crunchy. I had bought a box of teething biscuits some weeks ago, and I tried putting a piece in the food nibbler, but little grainy bits would come through the net. It wasn't getting mushy, like I remembered when Sissy was a baby.

Now that Little Bear has two teeth, and Peanut has one of his own, I thought that we would try Baby Mum-Mum. The box said that these can be eaten by babies who don't have teeth, and that they dissolve immediately. So, I picked up a box and we've been trying them out! We call them the boys' "cookies", and they get so excited when they see them.

For as much as we've been enjoying the "cookies", I have to say that they don't quite melt as easily as the package would lead you to believe. I think that much of that has to do with LB and Peanut's enthusiasm. You wouldn't know that they don't have mouths full of teeth, with how they chomp like little sharks. We have had just a little bit of gagging, but it hasn't been bad. Our boys are just have very sensitive gag reflexes, and they aren't used to moving chunky bits in their mouths. LB is having a pretty easy time of it, which I find surprising. He is rather funny about textures, and when I tried to give him food that wasn't blended into a smooth puree, he would gag badly. He doesn't even miss a beat with his cookie though. Peanut, however, is still trying to figure out how to keep the cookie from sliding too far back in his mouth. I can see him working it in his mouth. Then again, Peanut takes bites that are far too large, but I don't want to accidentally choke him by sticking my fingers in his mouth while he is trying to chew. We have done that though, when the enthusiastic little dude tries stuffing a huge piece of cookie in his mouth.

All in all, Mum-Mums are a big hit in our household. The boys are learning how to control the food in their mouths, which has made it easier to move them into slightly chunky baby food. I can now use my hand-crank baby food mill, if I want. I had put it away, because it didn't grind the food fine enough for the boys. Since starting with the cookies though, I've been able to move the boys up to eating ground meats and slightly chunky vegetables. Woohoo! I think that we are on our way to mushy food cubes. It may take us a few more months, but at least I feel better in knowing that Peanut and LB are getting the hang of this chewing thing.

This is Gross...

2011-04-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

... and yet that isn't enough to keep me from sharing my happiness. {lol} I guess that to some extent, you really just would have had to have been here over the past few months to know what this truly disgusting even means to me. Peanut had a poop. He did it all on his own. He only fussed the tiniest bit, and then was happy as a lark. His diaper was FULL.

Some would say, "What's the big deal? My kid does that all the time, and it's a mess!" Peanut doesn't though. It is the number one reason why I have felt terrible that I didn't keep plugging along with the breast pump, just for his sake. I had no idea that things were going to get bad like this though. He had been drinking moderate amounts of formula since he was born, since I couldn't always get enough milk for both of the boys. I would nurse Little Bear, to try and get my milk production up, and then I would pump as much as I possibly could for Peanut. He didn't understand how to nurse for a long while, and by the time he figured it out, I was having problems keeping up with their needs. So, we were giving the boys formula to try and fill in the gaps, because I couldn't listen to them scream with hunger, and not have something to give them. I know all about supply and demand, but I got to the point with my body where I was so exhausted, and my breasts were so beat up, there was just a point where my girls and I just couldn't handle the pressure.

Somewhere along the line, the boys changed in the way that they processed their food. They started demanding their meals more frequently, and I started having to go kind of heavy on the cereal for Little Bear. If I didn't, he would have the messiest diarrhea. Peanut, however, struggled to handle his solids. He was just as hungry as Little Bear, but everything he ate bound him up. Now, he gets bound up even while just drinking his formula, even though it is the Good Start that is supposedly the most gentle. Nothing was working.

We did talk to the doctor. Can I just say that talking to doctors can be frustrating? She said that it had to be dietary, at his age. I explained to her that he wasn't eating anything anymore, that he was only on formula- but he was still horribly constipated. Of course, she suggested juice and prunes. He could have every fruit that started with a "p", basically. There were no more bananas or apples for him though. She suggested that he still have cereal, though I was very nervous about it, because it seemed to be the rocks in his cement.

I have given that poor kid so much prune juice and "p" fruits that I am surprised that his only little baby tooth didn't come in purple. None of it helped. I stopped giving him cereal, though the doc seemed to think that I was nuts for even suggesting that he was having a hard time with it. I would only let him have "spoon food" after he had drank at least 5-6 oz. of formula, so I would feel confident that he had enough fluids to move through his system. I would give him water to drink as he wished, with his spoon-food. None of it helped.

I called and talked to my Grandma, and she advised me to give him warm water enemas if I had to. So, we started doing that. Otherwise, I was rushing through the house with him everyday, pulling his clothes off as we hurried to the changing table. He needed massage to help pass the poo, or else it would get stuck, and he would just lay there screaming and screaming. It tore up his poor bottom. At least the warm water enemas would soften the poo enough that he could get it out on his own, though he still had to work real hard on it. DH and I have worried over him daily, concerned that he might develop a bowl obstruction, or that the straining might harm him. Doc said that he was too young for any medication though, and she had no other helpful advice for me, other than juice and "p" fruits.

Well, I was doing some reading today, about what we can expect over the next few months, and what things will be changing as the boys approach their 1st birthday. As I was reading about the effects of whole milk on infants, it tickled my brain. Sure, my boys aren't ready to be switched the whole milk yet. They are a little young. Peanut still needs his vitamin-laced formula... but there wouldn't be any harm in giving him just a wee bit of whole milk. If he tummy didn't like it, I would probably just end up wearing it. That wouldn't be anything new. So, I made his bottle up for supper, and added a couple of ounces of regular milk to it.

I am happy to report that I did not get thrown up on. That is a very good thing. The boys ate their suppers just wonderfully. Each had their bottle of baby milk, and Peanut just had a little extra with his. They had garlic chicken with vegetables as their spoon-food, and they were just as happy as clams. The boys played on the floor and investigated everything. At some point, Peanut started doing a little grunting, and he turned a wee bit pink. There wasn't any screaming or crying, just a bit of pushing. Then, he just looked up with a smile and went back to playing. I thought for sure that if he had gotten anything, it would have just been one of his tiny pebbles. We went off to the bedroom to put some new drawers on him, and there was a beautifully healthy poo in there! It was the right consistency, and a lot of it. I know, it seems weird to call any kind of poo beautiful. There it is though. I was seriously on the verge of tears, wanting to cry with happiness that Peanut was actually able to go without pain. It's mighty gross, but such a wonderful thing. :o )

A Day for Planning

2011-04-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

Well, the weather isn't great... again. *lol* Spring in Michigan. Woohoo. Since it is pouring down rain today, I am going to use the time for planning and doing "office" work. I am going to put together my grocery list, hunt down any coupons that I can, and then load my list to my new handy, dandy Kindle. I am enjoying that little machine so much.

I am thinking that I may splurge and buy some can organizers for the pantry. They help you to not only store your cans, but to also rotate your stock. I haven't been working on the pantry as much as I should. I know how handy it is, during tough times. When I was on bedrest with the boys, we ate from the pantry a LOT. DH was just too tired, and was short on time to manage much grocery shopping. Now, with our economy struggling and inflation rising, it would be nice to see a packed pantry, able to see us through any difficult spells that we might have.

At Least It Isn't Raining...

2011-04-07T07:41:00.001-07:00

I am so glad that the rain has stopped, even just for a little while. It would be a real blessing if the sun could break free of the clouds for a bit, but I don't think that that is going to happen today. It is warmer though, so I might just take the children out for a walk, if it warms up enough for the babies.

I've got a little bit of energy today, having gotten enough sleep to get by. Peanut has been sleeping better at night. It's not great yet, but at least it hasn't been as bad as it was. Last night, he was pretty restless at around 1:00 am, but I was able to soothe him and get him to stay calm. He whined a little, probably a half-dozen times, and then laid his head back down and went to sleep. It didn't mess up my sleep at all, because I was having a hard time falling asleep anyway, and had gotten up to work on some lesson plans.

Little Bear was sleeping well, after some initial difficulties. DH thought that something on the tv was very funny, and he laughed too loud, startling LB awake. So, we had to soothe him, because he gets terribly worked up when he is frightened. DH cuddled him and stroked his hair, and then I settled him back into bed and convinced him to go back to sleep. DH hasn't learned the tricks, like how LB has to be put down on his tummy, because it makes it easier for him to suck his thumb while he drifts off. He also wants to cuddle with his favorite blankie and feel it against his cheek.

I have more lesson planning to do today. That is going to take up the bulk of my time today. I'll still be fiddling with the laundry a bit, and picking up around the house as I go about my daily business. I just need to get all of our ducks in a row, and be sure that I have everything organized for the next few months. The Board of Education liason for “School of Choice” called the other day, to let me know that she was putting Sissy's name on the list for applications. I had sent her a letter a few days earlier, making inquiries about whether we would need to send in an application or not. I am still feeling kind of disappointed about the decision, but it is hard to get past the fact that Sissy needs other children who are closer to her age. We still have so much to do, trying to bridge the gap between what is expected in the classroom, and what Sissy can comfortably do. Her evaluation appointment is getting closer by the day, and hopefully we will have some kind of helpful information over the summer, so we can be better advocates for Sis. It will be nice to really know what kind of help she might need, so I can go to bat for her, being armed with better information.

I'd just like to say that I am going to miss her. I have enjoyed it so much, having Sissy with us during the day. It will be hard to have her gone. She is getting so “big” now that we have good conversations, and it makes it more tolerable to be at home all of the time. There is nothing wrong with being at home, mind you. It is just that it gets old after a while, looking at these same walls. DH doesn't want to do anything over the weekends, so there isn't even a break there. I get a short reprieve when I do the grocery shopping, but if I am gone for over an hour, DH calls to make sure that I am coming home soon. It must be by the grace of God that I am not insane by this point.

One good thing to look forward to is that by the time Sis goes back to public school, the boys will be more than a year old. Since they will be on regular milk, and will hopefully be able to start holding their own bottles or sippy cups, maybe we can get out of the house more easily. I hope that we can do things like walk around the park and see the huge Canadian Geese, and maybe take a trip or two to the mall every so often.

Rainy Wednesday

2011-04-06T07:35:00.000-07:00

Good morning, good morning.

It is very gloomy outside today, and it's been raining all morning. At least it is just a light rain though, instead of the whipping winds that have been blowing through lately.

We have a tricky time getting both of the boys comfortable last night, but they seem to have slept pretty well. Peanut still woke up a couple times, but I soothed him and found his binkie for him, and he went back to sleep. Little Bear was sounding a little stuffy as he was sleeping last night, but his sinuses sound pretty good now. I was concerned that he was going to have a bad night, because it seemed that he might have been having a bad dream in the early evening. Thankfully, it didn't last. When LB starts bawling in the night, it scares Peanut, and then we have two babies screaming. I'm glad that Sissy can sleep through it all. I feel more confident that she can be well enough rested to make it through a public school day without being exhausted, since I've seen now that she can sleep through Peanuts caterwauling.

I have a few things to get done today, once I set the boys up with some toys to play with. There are dishes to wash, laundry to fold, and more to wash. It's just the average kind of things that eat up so much energy. If I have some time after all of that, I have some projects that I can work on. First, Peanut needs his "therapy". He isn't sitting all that well, and he still doesn't like to stand up. So, we are working on those things, and hopefully there will be some improvement before the boys' 9 month checkup, later this month. I also have a crochet project to work on, a small lovey for Little Bear. He really likes the blanket that I gave him, and I like that he can easily breathe through the large holes in it. The summer will be so warm that I will have to put up his blanket, so I want to make him a small something to cuddle with, because it helps him relax and go to sleep at night.

Lastly, I have some sewing that I could spend some time on. I have fleece that I am making soaker shorts from. Since we have heavy wetters, they can even be pulled up over disposable diapers, to catch any leaks during a nap time. I am also sewing some flannel diapers for the boys. I found some fabric in one of my craft bags, and it is just great to make some simple pocket diapers from. We have diaper flats, and though they are organic cotton, they still aren't very soft. Just for the sake of comfort and easy pinning, I am making some very simple pocket diapers that I can put the folded-up flats into. This should make it easier for me to just pin on a quick diaper, and then cover their bottoms in something that I don't mind them sitting in the grass in. I have wool, but I don't want to pick all of the grass and bits out of the yarn. If I can find some more fleece on sale, I may just start sewing some soaker pants now, so they will be ready when the fall comes.

Little Lady

2011-04-04T00:23:00.000-07:00

This may sound a mite strange to some people, but I am missing my little girl. I know, I know. She is right here with me, every day. I see her constantly. We feed babies together. We watch the morning news together. She empties the dishwasher, and I work to refill it again. We spend time at the white-board, working through math problems and sentence diagrams. For all of that, I still don't feel like I really know my daughter, and it makes me sad.

I don't know how many children are like this, how many moms can understand how I feel. I have a girl who talks constantly... about nothing. :o ) I kid you not, she chatters from the moment her eyes open, until she falls asleep. Sometimes I have to turn off my ears, because my brain starts to hurt. Now, she has even picked up a horrible habit from her father, that pesky habit of expecting me to agree with everything (anything), because they made an observation.

"I like Spaghetti O's because it only takes a minute to heat them up in the microwave. Right, mom?"

I feel like I'm constantly saying things like, "Sissy, I don't have to agree with you, for you to like it, sweetheart. It's enough to just say that you like something all on your own, and that is just great."

Sometimes, I think that she purposefully picked up this habit from DH, because she just wants to be sure that I am listening. Hahaha!

While Sis will chatter about what the cats in her latest book are doing, or what new dinosaur they introduced on "Dinosaur King", there is never any "I feel..." conversations.

I began to notice it a couple of years ago. Sissy was scared, frustrated, and sometimes embarrassed. At least, these are the assumptions that I've made, based on her behavior. She would never talk with me about how she was doing, or how she felt about her experiences at school. The best that I could hope for was an, "I don't know." She is a very passionate girl, so I know that she is deeply affected by things, but she can't tell me how she feels. If she gets frustrated, she starts hitting herself, either pounding her thighs, or hitting herself in the head. If she is happy, she fairly chirps like a little bird, and starts bouncing all around. If she is embarrassed, she hides her face in her hands and tries to shut down conversation. She can tell me that she IS happy, but can't explain what has made her feel that way. She can tell me that she is frustrated, but she melts down and starts hitting herself, and becomes even more upset when asked to explain why she is so frustrated.

The teacher who was with her for the beginning of 4th grade said that she could tell that there was something there, and she guessed that she had some kind of difficulty with language. So, she would lead conversation with Sissy, basically telling her what she was feeling, and leaving it open for her to agree or disagree. This even bleeds over into her writing, because Sis finds it painful to try and write out sentences. She doesn't understand the concept of a complete thought, no matter how hard I try to explain it. Her sentences are a jumble, and while I would love to proclaim that I am some kind of super-teacher or something, I'll admit that most times I am content if she simply puts words down on paper. I have no idea how to straighten out the thoughts on her paper, because I don't know how to help her straighten out her thoughts in her head. When she tries hard to do it herself, she typically loses focus and then forgets what she was even going to say. She can pass on all sorts of information that someone else has fed her, but she struggles to write a simple letter to her Grandma. It's personal, and she would have to share things that are important to her. It causes a type of paralysis.

It is so hard, seeing Sis struggle. She really is a very smart girl, and her teachers have agreed that she is very bright. I am a little worried, being that her previous teacher, Mrs. S. , said that she didn't think that Sissy *technically* has a learning disability. It is a little scary to see that the staff knows and understands that Sis is a unique and lovely lady, who just happens to need a little help- but they may not give it because she reads wonderfully and can do mathematics. All of this, because no one thus far has been able to figure out just what the "problem" is. Of course, the staff was concerned about how she gets too close to people, and whether or not she could sit still in class. Me, my concerns are a bit different. I want to know what my girl thinks, and how she feels. I want to be able to make life a little easier for her, when I can.... if only she could tell me when something is wrong.

He's Got Me Trained

2011-04-03T23:23:00.000-07:00

It is a quarter after two, and instead of sleeping, I am sitting up. I'm wide awake, and my little Peanut is sound asleep. I hear Little Bear rustling in bed every so often, and then hear the sound of him sucking on his thumb. All is quiet though, now that we've moved Peanut into the living room. He is sleeping in his playpen. Across the room, the tv has been left on, turned down to a very soft chatter. Maybe the sound is what he needs, because I could have been sleeping for a few hours now, just like he has been. Instead, I am so used to being up at this time of night, now I can't sleep.

I certainly don't mean to be burning the candle at both ends, but it's not very comfortable to lay in bed awake either. Unlike previous nights, there will be no washing of dishes during the middle of the night. I do see a basket of clean diapers that I can fold though. :)

Poor Peanut, Poor Mama

2011-04-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

Goodness, I don't know what to do about this little boy. I am so thankful that Little Bear sleeps like his father, and nothing seems to bother him very much. I can't imagine how awful it would be if all of Peanut's nighttime hollering woke LB and made him upset.

Peanut is turning into a night-owl, and I'm afraid that his father and I are to blame. We each have our little things that we do, and neither are really much help for the situation. I know that my problem is that I take Peanut into bed with me, in order to calm him down and get him sleepy again, after he wakes up. His father, he tends to snatch the crying Peanut from his crib, and he will sit up with him and watch tv. Even though they have some good bonding time, Peanut now wants to watch tv all night, and he gets terribly upset when we try to get him back into bed.

Daddy tried putting the little man into his bed at 1:30 am, after he was done watching a movie. Peanut wasn't all that happy with the arrangement, so he started to throw a fit. While my dear husband slept peacefully, I spent the next few hours trying to soothe Peanut and get him to sleep. I feel like I spent half of the night leaning over his crib, rubbing his back and hair. Eventually, he got to the point where he cried long enough to wear himself out. I gave him his binkie for the 100th time of the night (or so it seemed), pulled his blanket over him, and rubbed his back again until he drifted off to sleep. We slept for a whole three hours.

Wounded in the Line of Diapering

2011-04-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

My poor, dear husband. There are times when I really feel for him. I'm pretty sure that when we first got married, he thought that he was safe.... and then I turned into this somewhat "crunchy" gal who makes his life interestingly complicated.

You wouldn't think it, but apparently pinning on a simple cloth diaper is difficult. Taking said pins OUT, that is seemingly dangerous. I went up to the grocery store last night, and when I came home, DH was brandishing an injured finger. He showed me his finger in that accusatory fashion, as though I had stabbed him. He had a hard time getting a boy-child out of his diaper. I didn't know this, but I've now been told that I put pins on upside-down. I didn't have the heart to tell him that if you want the pokey-part facing up towards you, all you have to do is rotate the pin over. I'm pretty sure that he would have thrown something at me.

I "get" that cloth diapering can be a little tricky. I am still working out which diaper covers are most suitable for each varying situation. I've got my little ways of doing things, like grabbing a Ziplock baggie to slide under the bottom of a kiddo who has a pull-on cover over his diaper. After all, who wants to put a wet butt on their PJs? (See, that is what I get for putting a fuzzy cover on the changing pad. The boys love it, but it makes changing them slightly more complicated.)

When it comes to my poor husband, I really do feel for him. I've been more than a little intimidated by this whole diapering thing myself. Still, anyone could understand the desire to wrap a butt in a simple piece of cloth if you looked into our garbage can before we made the switch. With twins, there are so many diapers!! I don't know how any mom who has more than one child in diapers would want to pay for disposable diapers with any regularity. There have been some times when I would put the boys in a paper diaper, and then end up having to change both of them multiple times within the same hour. I could practically hear the "cha-ching" of money being tossed into the garbage can. Yup, it's approximately $0.20 each, more for the name-brand that I just don't buy. The imaginary sound of losing money was enough motivation for me to learn how to do such things as : 1. folding a diaper 2. pinning diaper without wounding neither myself or a helpless baby.

I am very happy to report that while I have gently poked myself a few times, I've never poked one of the kids! I've also never drawn my own blood. I have just poked me just hard enough to realize that I've gone through the layers of cloth, and need to turn my pin. With the flats that I have, the pins go through the fabric much more easily if I start by going straight down through the cloth, and then angle up toward the hip. I must need to give my wonderful husband a lesson on pinning and unpinning diapers though, because he makes the most pitiful faces when he wounds himself.

Oh, that boy....

2011-03-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

I think that Peanut is killing my brain. It feels like a watery mush inside my skull, sloshing around when I move. Certainly, I am in 'zombie' mode.

For the past few days, Peanut has only slept for about 30-45 minutes, after I put him to bed. Then, it seems as though he feels "refreshed", and he wants to get up and play around for the rest of the night. I feel like I have tried everything, and the only reliable way that I have found to convince this boy to go to sleep is to let him sleep snuggled up to me. While it is effective, it isn't safe. Also, while everyone else can sleep well, *I* spend the whole night with one eye open, making sure that the baby is alright.

I have tried very hard to do as Peanut's doctor has suggested, just letting him "work it out himself". However, this kid has more stamina than I do. It bothers me so much to hear him fussing and carrying on, I end up with a pounding headache at 3 o'clock in the morning. I just want the little guy to be happy and sleep well. I wish that I knew why he is such a restless sleeper. He wasn't always like this. He used to sleep very well through the night, and Little Bear was the one to get me up, so he could nurse during the night. Now, LB sleeps great (when his teeth aren't bothering him). Peanut is awake and fussing all the time.

We just have to figure out something. I am starting to feel a little on the nutty side. My head is a big, throbbing mass of ick. DH didn't think that it would work out for us to bring Peanut's crib into our room, butting it up against the bed. I am tempted to just give it a try on my own anyway. It is either that, or I'm going to have to go see my doc about some meds to chill me out. I've done pretty good in battling exhaustion and depression, but there is only so much that I can handle.

I Kill Veggies and Fruits

2011-03-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

Yup. I enjoy it. It has been so nice to no longer be popping open 3 jars of baby food at a meal. Usually, the boys would each have a jar of some vegetable, and then they would share some kind of fruit for dessert. Either that, or I would give them two different veggies to share, and then the fruit.

It has been so nice to have the baby food blender though. I had thought that I would be able to whip up some quick baby food in my ancient blender, but it wouldn't puree the fruits and veggies smoothly. Instead, I was getting little chunks that I couldn't seem to work out. I thought that maybe they were tiny enough that they wouldn't be a problem, but Little Bear has a very sensitive gag reflex. So, I still need a very smooth puree.

I picked up the "Especially for Baby" (Babies R' Us brand) baby food blender the other day, when I went in search of Dr. Brown #3 nipples. I also bought a little food steamer for the microwave, because I really couldn't afford to get both the blender and an electric steamer. I do have a stove-top steamer though, so I can quickly get veggies cooked if I am in a crunch, but I also am prepared to cook larger batches of food when I have the time.

The food blender is very handy, and I really like the "upside down" style, like the Magic Bullet blender. I find that it is much easier for me to clean the blade, and I can cut down on dishes by feeding from the blender cup if I want. The only thing that concerns me is that the directions are very specific about how long you can blend, before you have to worry about overheating the motor. That leads me to think that it is probably far too easy to kill this cute little blender. I am going to just be careful with it though, and hopefully it will last for as long as I will need it. It won't take much time to recoup the cost of the blender, being that we would otherwise be spending approximately $4.50 per day just in baby food in a jar, for our boys. (Then, there is the cost of their formula, which I will be very happy to get rid of, once they can switch to regular whole milk. Some days, our grocery bill makes me seriously consider attempting re-lactation. lol)

Exhaustion and Craziness, brought to you

2011-03-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

.... by Peanut, the cranky, bossy version.

When babies are little, I feel so heartbroken when they cry. They only want what everyone needs- a full tummy, good rest, a clean bottom, and some kisses.

Now, older babies... Hmm. My lovely husband is quite concerned about Peanut, because even as a little mite, he exhibits a rather cranky constitution. I'm intensely amused by DH's insight, because he fears that the little guy is going to be just like him. There is no getting around it- DH has anger issues. He is just one of those people who find themselves easily annoyed, and already half of the way to angry before anything has even really happened. I've had to intervene many times to save the life of our tv remote. Being that he is aware that he becomes angry for no good reason, DH has learned to get a handle on himself ... for the most part. It is obvious that he uses a great deal of control when dealing with the ones that he loves, even when it is just as obvious that steam is rising off of the top of his head. These days, now that he has gotten a little older and a bit more mature, I really only have need to worry about inanimate objects that might be smashed down on the top of the furniture, punishment for not working properly (though it is the cable BOX, and not the remote that is malfunctioning).

Anyway, I am very proud of all of the progress that DH has made. It can be very hard work to overcome something so deeply ingrained in your nature. I pouted a little when DH pulled the "it takes one to know one" with Peanut though. The little stinker-butt really does have a temper. If things aren't going his way, he has taken to yelling at me and trying to flip himself all around. He will pinch and kick his feet, though I'm not thinking that he is *trying* to hurt anyone. He is just upset and doesn't know what to do with it. At least, that is my hypothesis. He pinches when he is happy too, just to test out the way that it feels to squeeze an arm, nose, chin, neck, ear.....

Well, all of this explaining just goes to explain why I am so tired today. Firstly, Little Bear has been teething very badly. We keep giving him all sorts of nubby things to chew on, and the kid is going to town on them so furiously that the whole lower half of his face is chapped from slobber. I've started rubbing him down with olive oil, and that has helped to ease his angry skin. There is only a slightly pink area around his mouth and chin now.

LB has been crying at night, for the past few nights. It's not a lot, just startling. He is such a mild-mannered boy, and he doesn't fuss very much. It makes me so sad that he is hurting.

Then, of course, there is our little Peanut. He is having a hard time with teething too, but in a little different way. Peanut has a hard time falling asleep, when his gums are sore. I've been giving him a little Tylenol at bedtime, and it helps him to have enough relief that he can sleep. He is generally good until DH starts getting ready for work. Maybe he is just a light sleeper, but that is when he starts to fuss a bit. For the sake of allowing everyone else to sleep, I started bringing Peanut into bed with me, when DH leaves for work. He would nap for a couple of hours, and then everyone would get up for breakfast. I'm noticing that he is starting to fuss sooner and sooner though. It used to be that he just wanted his binkie, so I would get up a few times during the night to help him pop it back into his mouth. Well, now he is fussing WITH the binkie, and will only be comforted if I am holding and snuggling him.

I was up at 4 am with Peanut last night. I tried the binkie, and it didn't work. So, I picked him up and rocked him until he fell asleep. As soon as I tried to lay him back down though, he realized that he wasn't snuggled against my chest, and he started wailing again. It really is such a strange thing, because he sleeps just fine by himself during the day. Eventually, I put him in his bed, did everything that I could to make him comfortable, and I went and laid down in my own bed for a few minutes. Oh, he hollered and kicked his feet. I went back in there and rubbed his back and stroked his hair once he calmed down a little. Then I went back to bed... and he started hollering again. I think that we did this about 3 or 4 times before he settled down and all I could hear was the tiny squeak of him sucking on his binkie. Then, all was still.

I hate letting my little boy cry. I think that a part of me feels like I need to treat him more carefully than I do LB. Little Bear really is like a cuddly teddy bear, with the strength and appetite that goes along with the name. He is a hearty kid, and not much bothers him enough to wipe the huge grin off of his face.

Peanut has had a hard time though. With being a reflux baby, we were always up with him so much during the night. There were the many changes of bedding and clothes, trying to keep him dry and comfortable. Aside from the scary bouts of nighttime choking, Peanut tended to sleep more soundly and for longer than LB. Then, it was like a switch was flipped, and then he didn't want to sleep for more than an hour or two. He is just restless. I've stood at the side of his crib at night, just watching him. He wiggles and rolls. He sucks on that binkie, and then pushes himself across the mattress, accidentally trapping the binkie under his tummy. Of course, then he can't find it... so he fusses. Realistically though, there is only so much that I can do for him. He is 35 weeks old now. At approximately 8 calendar months old, he *should* have a better handle on soothing himself at night, when he finds himself a little restless. Instead of getting better though, he is slowly becoming more restless and more needy. I'm just left thinking that in my effort to soothe him, I am making things even harder on him. Now, he doesn't want to sleep without me at night, and that is completely my fault.

Aha! Dry babies....

2011-03-25T07:05:00.001-07:00

It was pretty groovy this morning, picking up the boys and finding that they were both still completely dry. Yay! Our heavy wetters have been giving mama a workout, hauling all of the laundry up and down the stairs.

I did try putting the boys in the diapers that are the next size up, and all that lead to was leaking out of the leg holes. So, I was resorting to folding down the extra, and then putting vinyl pants on the boys, so any leaks would have a chance to be absorbed by the diaper, instead of the boys' jammies. It worked pretty well, but I really prefer to keep the boys as lightly covered in their diaper areas as I can. So, I tried something that I had seen mentioned on the internet. I took a simple, cheap maxi pad and cut it in half. I put one part in each of the boys' diapers, right over their heavy wetting zone. When I changed them this morning, there were no leaks, and the boys' skin looked nice and clear. Little Bear has such sensitive skin, it isn't usual to change his bottom and find that he is irritated. Since starting solid foods, I think that his urine is just more irritating to his skin. That is why I've put them in disposable diapers at night, because he doesn't have the ammonia of his urine laying heavily against his skin for so many hours.

Now that I have a better idea of what is irritating Little Bear's skin, I've been able to get both boys back into cloth diapers during the day. I had bought some BumGenius diapers, but found that the microfiber inner was very irritating to LB. They are fine for Peanut, so I am keeping the size 'large' diapers that I have. I am selling the 'medium' diapers though, which will cover the cost of the organic cotton diaper flats that I bought to take their place. I think that with what I have, I should be able to keep the boys in diapers until they are ready for potty training. I may sell some more of my diapers so I can get a couple more dozen diaper flats. I have fitted prefolds that I know won't fit the boys for that much longer. They are really great diapers, and the elastic is still in great shape. These boys are just growing like weeds though! Now that I am more comfortable with cloth diapering, I'm finding it easier to just keep it simple. Plus, I can wash flats and put them outside on a line and have them dry in a very short time. I'm not saving myself any work by having very thick prefolds or fitted diapers, because LB needs to have his bottom changed very frequently to avoid skin irritation.

The Nothing Post

2011-03-20T14:11:00.000-07:00

I keep writing things down here. I keep saying things and thinking through things. Then, I just leave, and never post anything.

I think that I just have a lot going on in my head, and in my heart. I'm not sure what to do with it, and to an extent, it helps to just type out all of the words. I don't know that I feel able to share it though. That probably sounds strange, coming from me. I can post Facebook statuses about all sorts of stupid things, none of which ultimately mean anything. That is probably why I feel free to chatter on about such mundane things, like what I ate for breakfast.

There is a familiarity that I share with a lot of people, but not so much for the intimacy that would come from really knowing what I think about in the quiet of night. I find that as I am getting older, I am becoming more and more... private. I think that my lack of a good conversational partner is what shuts me down. God is faithful though, and I find that when I am feeling twisted up and flustered, He makes the way clear for me to find answers and clarity. I'm finding that it can be a rather slow and ofttimes painful process though, similar to a long labor.

Check-up With Dr. P. (33 Weeks Old)

2011-03-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

The boys had their check-ups today. So, now we have some new stats for our little men.

Peanut
Weight: 17 lbs. 7 oz. (30th percentile)
Height: 28.5 inches (90th percentile)

Little Bear
Weight: 18 lbs. 12 oz. (50th percentile)
Height: 29" (95th percentile)

I was a little sad for Peanut, being that he was the firstborn. His "little" brother is now heavier and taller than he is. I suspect that it might have something to do with Peanut's eating issues. I asked the doc about what we could do, because he ofttimes rejects his bottle. He just decides that he has had enough, and he pushes the bottle away and won't drink any more. Because he has problems with constipation, I can't increase his solid foods very much to compensate, if he isn't drinking his milk. Doc said to give him the fastest flow nipple, because he may be losing patience. We have the fast flow nipples though, and he doesn't do any better with them. Now that we are doing a better job of managing his constipation though, I am hoping that Peanut starts putting on some more weight. I don't want his growth to be stunted at all, just because his mama doesn't know how to "fix" whatever it is that is bothering him.

Doc asked about the boys' gross motor skills, and we told her that Peanut doesn't want to bear weight on his feet. He's only decided to "stand up" (with help) a few times. So, she examined his hips and checked to make sure that both of his legs were growing at the same rate. She said that he looked good, so it might just be that he doesn't want to stand yet. Dr. P. wants us to continue working with him, and she will examine him again in 6 weeks.

Now, Little Bear is just a big, sturdy guy. Doc says that his gross motor skills are great, and that he is a very strong boy. We asked about his breathing, because he really does sound like a pug. She examined him, even gagging him just a little with a tongue depresser, trying to make him cough. Doc says that his congestion is all in his head, and she suspects that he might have some allergies. He is too young to do anything for it though. He's just going to continue to sound like a little pug puppy.

The boys had tetanus and Prevnar shots today, and they were strong little troopers. Peanut fussed just a little bit, and LB didn't even make a peep until after the nurse was done. Though they handled the needles alright, neither one of them seems to be feeling particularly well. LB is having a real rough afternoon. At lunch, both boys would only take 3 oz. of milk. Poor Little Bear is also doing a lot of crying. He'll be playing and then all of a sudden, he just cries for a couple of minutes. I gave them both a dose of Tylenol, so hopefully they will start to feel better soon.

Oh yeah, it's Monday.

2011-03-14T13:32:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I managed it, but I somehow forgot that it was Monday. I'm pretty sure that that means my brain has turned to mush, at least partially.

If it weren't so brisk outside, I would bundle up the boys and take them for a walk around the neighborhood. Peanut, in particular, seems fascinated with "outside". He stares out the storm door with such wide eyes. It feels like they have been with us always, and also like they were born just yesterday. Such a strange thing. Anyway, I forget sometimes that they were so small when the weather turned nasty, and they can't see very much through all of their bunting, when we do go out. We try so hard to keep the bitter winter wind out of their faces, so they don't have much opportunity to see very much. I'm sure that that goes a long way in explaining why they are suddenly staying WIDE awake when we are driving around. It is fun to watch them as they stare out the windows, like they are seeing the most fantastic things. Oh, love.

I should have been picking up around the house a little more, but it has been fun to watch the boys playing on a blanket, on the floor. I gave them a cup and a bowl to play with, and they got a real kick out of that. Those things tend to roll away though, which had Little Bear practicing his crawling. Sure, he didn't get anywhere that way, but it was cute watching him on his hands and knees, rocking back and forth. Peanut still isn't really trying to crawl all that much yet. He seems content to just roll for right now. He gets up on his hands, and sometimes his knees. He hasn't decided to put those two actions together, at least not more than a time or two. This is probably the only thing that saves LB though. I have to pull the boys apart so much as it is, because Peanut likes to pull LB's hair, and pinch him. He isn't trying to hurt him, but he is rather rough with everyone, his brother included. I decided that it was nap time this afternoon, after I had to pull them apart, because LB was getting kicked in the cheek. Poor guy. Though he is much bigger than his "big" brother, Little Bear is such a gentle guy. That makes it all the worse, seeing him get pummeled.

While the house isn't sparkling, I have still been doing a bit of picking up. I even managed to get some chicken into the crockpot, so it will be nice and tender for dinner. I'm going to put the chicken and gravy over some stuffing, and add some green beans and mashed potatoes to dinner. Yum.

We're going to have dinner kind of late tonight, since DH is late. We ran over a bolt yesterday, so he is taking the tire up to the shop to see if they could patch it. We need to have everything all fixed up, because we need the van for the boys' appointment with their favorite doctor. Our boys love the ladies, so they get a kick out of Dr. P. ! They think that she is niiiiiiice. Then, of course, the nurse comes in and pokes them. That isn't so much fun.

This evening, I'm going to try and tackle some laundry. I've been struggling to do basic tasks, because I've injured my hand and wrist somehow, with all of the picking up of the boys and their car seats. I can manage small movements, like typing. Unscrewing the collars of the baby bottles is excruciating, and I can't put any pressure against my palm. So, everything that I do has to be done slowly and carefully. This pain is a lingering one though, and the more that it hurts, the farther it spreads. By the end of the night, my hand is useless, and I hurt all the way up to my elbow. It's such a bummer. I can't be going for any MRIs or anything though, and I can't chance dropping one of the babies by doing things one-handed. So, I feel like I am in a pickle. I am doing my best to get by though.

Anyway, I am looking forward to an evening with my sweet husband. Hopefully, Nanner will have all of her homework done soon, so we can put on a movie or something. I think that I will have to go downstairs and get the popcorn popper! Oooo....

Sunday

2011-03-13T13:26:00.000-07:00

Today, I've been thinking on Paul's letter to Philemon. It isn't something long, but I keep chewing on it, working it in my teeth. There is something there for me, that I haven't quite reached yet. It's a rather odd feeling.

We had a rough night, since Peanut had a rough night. It wasn't *too* bad, but he was restless. I hope that he eventually outgrows this. In the meantime, we just take the rest where we can get it, because it isn't usually through the night. DH took his nap this afternoon, and I think that maybe I will lay down and read for while in the early evening.

It has been nice to enjoy a slow afternoon. We were able to open the front door, to let in the light and a gentle breeze through the storm door. It won't be too long before every day will be one for opening the doors and windows, letting the outside inside. It won't be too long before I can spread out a blanket in the grass, and the boys can learn what it feels like to touch grass and be tickled by dandelions.

Soggy Wednesday

2011-03-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

What a sleepy, soggy day. So far, it has worked to my advantage that it's been raining, because the boys are soothed by the sound of the falling rain. It helps them sleep better. Though Peanut was terribly cranky last night, and had a hard time falling asleep, he slept pretty well after I got him snuggled into his crib. With the falling rain, I was able to have a little breakfast myself, before the boys were ready to be up and have their milk.

I was very happy when I picked each of the boys up that they were nice and dry. We've put the boys in disposable diapers at night since they first came home. Now that they are such big super-wetters though, they have been wet every morning for the past few days. So, last night I really wrapped them up! Little Bear is still having irritation to his skin, because a soaked disposable diaper isn't any easier on the skin than a wet cloth diaper. So, even if it irritates his diaper area, at least that is the only skin being irritated, instead of him sleeping in a puddle. I grabbed a large BumGenius diaper for each boy, put a doubler in the pocket, and then folded another doubler in half and put it inside the diaper, right over their little fire hoses. For the first time in days, I was able to pick up each baby and snuggle them right away, because their clothes and bedding were nice and dry. Yay! So, now I know what I've got to do. Little Bear had some redness to his skin, but I washed and dried him very well, so it should clear up quickly.

Nanner and I snuggled some babies and gave them their milk, and then we put the boys in their walkers to play for a few minutes while we poked around in the kitchen, setting our bean soup to cook. We had a nice conversation about prayers and fasting, and why it is good to have traditional days set aside from remembering what the Lord has done for us.

The rain is making me a mite sleep also, but I think that I might be able to get things done if I turn on all of the lights in the rooms that I am in. There is some laundry to be done, and a kitchen to clean. Of course, I can say that every day, and still I'd be telling the truth. lol While I am fussing with laundry, I need to look through my large plastic bins and see if I can find some sleepers for the boys. They are running very low on PJs, now that I've had to take all of their 9 month sleepers out of their drawer.

We have church tonight, so I need to modify the boys' nap schedule just slightly. There is a taco dinner at church, along with the standard "Chat with Pastor" that we do on Wednesdays. I got a giggle out of the tacos. Since DH grew up in a Catholic household, he still does not like to eat meat on Ash Wednesday or Fridays during Lent. Of course, we know that we are not in bondage to the tradition, but it is just a nice thing that we've continued on with the family that we have made together. Our church family really enjoys embracing Lent, and for some reason their enthusiasm... and tacos... it just amuses me.

Happy Friday to You :D

2011-03-04T06:35:00.001-08:00

We are deviating from our scheduled programming today, to just enjoy some relaxation together. This morning, before any of the rest of us were out of bed, Nanner was awake and busy with her pencil and crayons. She has made some little invitations for her birthday party, and she'd like to pass them out to a few of her friends at the elementary school. I told her that I will drive her up there, so she can go and visit after class is over.

For as cute as her invitation is, she drew it on lined paper. She wanted me to use the printer to make copies of it, but I told her that her writing in pencil on the lines was going to be tricky. So, we are going to re-do the invites on some white computer paper instead.

Now, we don't usually do a whole lot for birthdays, but DH and I figured that every few years we would have a big party for each of the kids. It makes special memories. Nanner is no longer going to be a "single digit" gal, and that is a big deal to us. She is growing up, and her next decent-sized party isn't going to be until she turns 13. I would like to do something really special for her then.

This year, we didn't do a whole lot with gifts, and that is something that Nanner understands. Paying for everyone at the bowling center is going to be rather expensive. We did still get her presents, but nothing particularly eye-catching. I bought my girl her first real bible, to replace her bible story books that are geared toward smaller children. I was going to buy her a cover for it, but then thought that it would be even nicer to just make her one by hand. That is going to be my project for after she goes to bed. I can start on it this afternoon, since I want to embroider her name on the fabric that will become the cover. She won't be able to anticipate what it will become, just by seeing me stitching on a rough piece of fabric. Other than that, I got her a Club Penguin game for the Wii, and a little puffle keychain toy. I've already shown Nanner the new clothes that I bought her, because I needed to make sure that they would fit, so I could return some if they didn't. She has some really nice new clothes to wear now, and everything actually fits. There are no more PJs that look like 3/4 shirts and capri pants, just because they are a couple years old. hehe.

Nanner's great-uncle (who is really just a few years older than us) is gifting her with a bowling ball for her birthday. It is Whinnie the Pooh, and has been drilled specifically for her little hand. Nanner has always enjoyed bowling, for as much as she has actually been able to bowl. I've wanted to take her bowling so many times, but it is very difficult for me, with my messed up back. DH has to be incredibly careful when hugging me, not to accidentally lean on me at all. It is that bad. There is really no way that I can bowl, at least not right now. Nan's cousin is going to be joining a youth bowling league though, and we were all thinking that it would be great for Nanner to join also. The kids get along so well, and it would be a great activity for them to share, together, and with other children.

Well, I am off. I need to do a little work on the computer ... that doesn't involve blogging. hehe. :)

And so, my little Peanut gets his spoon back...

2011-03-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

Our visit with the doctor went well this morning. They took Peanut's weight and temperature, and the Doc looked him over and did a lot of pushing on his belly. She did an exam of his little bottom, and then she handed out the advice.

My happy little Peanut will get his spoon back, which I am sure that he will love. He has missed his spoon. He has to have a bottle of prune juice every day, and he is no longer allowed to eat any foods that contain apples, bananas, or carrots. We still aren't sure if he is going to be able to eat cereals again, so we will slowly add them back in, and see how it goes. We need to feed him fruit puree like pears, peaches, and prunes. Our green veggies are still ok.

I am still confused about what is going on with my little guy, because he is still constipated, even with only drinking his milk. This is a rather recent development, and seems kind of strange. The whole point to putting him back on only milk was to flush his sytem, so we could very carefully add back only foods that he seemed able to handle without getting bound up. He never got straightened out though! I guess that is what all of the fruit juice and prunes is supposed to be for. Doc says that he is too young for any medicine, so we just have to find things that will keep everything moving along before it can dry out and become hard.

Her last bit of advice was to violate the poor boy with a q-tip and a little Vaseline. lol His little bottom is so torn up that he needs something to keep the skin soft, and to soothe his discomfort when trying to 'go'. The q-tip is to help ease the way. You know- greasing his cake pan. *wink* She had mentioned glycerine suppositories, but I'm not a fan of them. When Nanner was a little one, she always said that they would make her bottom burn. (Being a preemie, she had digestive issues as a baby/young child.)

I guess that now is just the time pray, and do all of these little things that Doc says will help. It is so hard to listen to my sweet Peanut screaming in pain. I just want him to feel better.

Love & Law

2011-03-02T11:28:00.000-08:00

I was reading through all of the "do" and "don't" laws in the Old Testament, and some things just struck me. It sounded very much like this...

Love me, like I love you.
Tell me that you love me.
Take these days to relax and think about our relationship, how wonderful it is, and how it can be even better.
Use these traditions to bring yourself and family a sense of familiarity and intimacy with me, and to keep our relationship close.
Here are some ways that you can ensure that others don't lure you away from me, and don't forget the reminders of how you can also protect your heart from being seduced away by others.
Let's grow our family. I love you, you love me. Tell others how much I love them, and then treat them just as good as I do.

Hey, I could go on and on, but THAT is what I read when going through the hundreds of little things that we're told are good (or bad) for us. I can completely see how it all could feel very oppressive if a person were thinking to "save themselves" by being "good enough". However, since I know that God has been merciful to me and paid the price for my sinfulness via Jesus, all of the "do this, don't do that" sounds very different. I imagine that this would be how a good and loving father would talk to his children, guiding them to things that would enhance their relationship and keep them healthy in every aspect.

Going In to See Doc

2011-03-01T07:21:00.001-08:00

I guess that it is a good thing that the boys are due for their check-up and inoculations now. My poor little Peanut is still having a terrible time with constipation. Over the past few weeks, we've begun to worry a bit about him. There is no overlooking the fact that his little brother is much bigger than he is now, though he was slightly bigger than Little Bear when they were born. At first, it was the reflux. How is a kid supposed to keep putting on weight when he throws up every time that he eats? Now that he is keeping his food down, we are having problems finding the right kinds of food to put in him!

Doc had said that she wanted the boys to be eating three good solid-food meals per day, in addition to their milk. Well, that is just fine for Little Bear. He eats up everything in sight, and then wants more! Lots of folks jokingly call him "Porkchop", because if you are comparing the two boys to one another, Little Bear feels like he weighs a ton. Really though, it is just because our Peanut is so light. LB is really just average in weight.

While LB eats really well, Peanut is having a hard time with his food. Oh, he loves his spoon! He misses his spoon! You should see the way that he looks longingly at us whenever he sees us adults eating. We had to take him off of all solids though, because of the horrific constipation. I thought that that would clear it all up, but I switched him back to the "gentle" formula also, just in case. Well, this morning, he was screaming again as he went poo. Poor, poor baby. It was hard, and his poor little bottom was torn up again. I am going to see if the doctor can see him tomorrow or the day after. If they can't make room for us, I am going to switch doctors. The last time that I needed to bring the boys in, they set our appointment for a month out! That put us off of our vaccine schedule and got our visits all out of whack. (It's kind of important to stay on schedule, since we already have the boys on a slower vaccine schedule.) For as much as I like their doctor, I don't really like some of the "quirks" of how the office is run. I do like their doctor though.

Until the doctor's office calls me back (because that is how they set their appointments), I am going to just try giving Peanut some juice. I've tried it before, and he just threw it all back up. Now that he is older though, maybe it will stay down and actually help him.

My 1000 Gifts

2011-01-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

1. Crooked little smiles from my beautiful daughter.
2. Thankful that we currently have two vehicles, so DH was able to get to work when the car broke down again.
3. Thankful for those quiet times at night when the only ones who are awake are me and God, so we can talk for a little while.
4. A hot cup of coffee after a long, restless night with the babies.
5. A good, quality nose-sucker.
6. Thankful that my daughter has a good friend.
7. Thankful that pain and suffering is but a short thing (though it feels long), and that God's healing last for all eternity.

8. Those times of improvement and lucid moments, when Papa opens his eyes and it is evident that he knows that he is not alone.
9. A playpen that I could pull up to the bed, so my little Wolverine and I could *try* and get some rest during the night.
10. The blessing that is my sleeping Snuggle Bug, so I only am up and trying to placate one crying baby during the night.
11. Being able to spend time with our church family after being away for too long.
12. Chicken noodle soup on a cold day.
13. A neighbor who thinks of me often, and is gracious and merciful.
14. Baby boys, holding hands.

15. Hot coffee after a rough night.
16. The satin-soft baby cheek that I have the blessing of being able to stroke.
17. One-on-one lessons with my big girl.
18. DH making it to his work building before the transmission completely gave out.
19. Sunshine in the morning.
20. The nudge from Father, reminding me what "forgive" really means.
21. Meeting up again with old friends.

22. The sunshine across the grass.
23. Robins and blackbirds poking in the yard.
24. Hugs from my little girl, who is now so much a big girl
25. When he rubs his newly shaven cheek against mine. <3

What I See

2011-01-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

When I look into the faces of my children, I see so much. Of course, there are the obvious things. I see my daughter's beautiful eyes that are the most beautiful and peculiarly colored eyes I think that I've ever seen. There is Robert's huge smile that lights up his entire face, like he is just bursting with so much joy that it needs someone to shine out, lest he pop. Oh, sweet William. He has such a mischievous little smile, but just squeals with laughter that is enough to crack up even the biggest grouch.

Then, there are the quiet little things that I see. I see the tears and hugs of my family and friends, as they mourned with Michael and I. When I look at all of the cute little sayings written across their wee outfits, I think about the words from friends that I've been gifted with over the years. I feel everyone's hugs when my little guys wrap their arms around me, to hold me so incredibly tight that they even bury a hands in the hair at my nape. In the middle of the night, I soothe and rock little ones, feeling the love of God in the quiet stillness of night, while everyone else is sleeping. I have been so blessed, and not only by the gifts that are my children. I've been blessed to be surrounded by those who love me enough to mourn and cry with me, hope with me, laugh with me, celebrate with me, love with me, and praise God with me. Some people are close to me, and some very far away. I've hugged some and shared meals with them, and others I have yet to ever lay eyes on. So, in the near and far, I've been so very deeply loved.

It makes my heart feel full to bursting. Thank you. xo

The Little Drummer Boy in My Brain

2010-12-19T18:49:00.000-08:00

Goodness. Today was just one of those days. We had been planning on going to church this morning, but I noticed that we were most certainly late when I opened my eyes this morning. I got up and shuffled into the living room, to find my love on the sofa, in obvious distress. The night before, Michael had eaten a dish with many more vegetables than he usually does. It tasted really good going down, but apparently it started fighting with him shortly thereafter. By the early morning, he was in a great deal of pain. Thanks to some liquid Tylenol, we were at least able to get some kind of pain medication into him while he rested. I wish that I had been able to get more water into his system, but Michael spent most of the day sleeping. By dinner time though, he was finally starting to feel a little bit better.

It would be nice if I could say that I handled the day gracefully, and all was well. Ha. *head palm* The boys were particularly cranky, and spent a lot of the day taking turns at fussing at me. If I held Will, then Robert would cry. If I held Robert, William would cry. Anyone who knows how a baby accidentally inflicts damage with their head and fingernails can understand why I don't hold them both at the same time. We would all three be bleeding and sore, I'm sure.

I was short on patience with Nanner, which is never a good thing. We started off on the wrong foot, when I realized that she was playing with her father's rings that he had left on the bathroom sink. I asked her about it, and as is her habit these days, she lied to me. I don't know what her deal is, but I can't trust a single word that comes out of her mouth, no matter how innocuous. It is just a constant thing. Ugh. Yup, I feel like a real great mom, let me tell ya.

Wanting to try and show Nanner how to hang clothes on the line that I strung up in the basement, I asked her to take down some of her clothes and put them in to wash. Well, when I got down there to hang up clothes, there was this awful smell. Even though I had told her NOT to use fabric softener ever again, she decided to pour some in with her clothes. She didn't even use the cap/cup to measure. She just poured from the jug, right into the washer. Ugh. I'm glad that she didn't try to wash the baby clothes. It might have taken me days of washing to get them washed well enough that the boys wouldn't get rashes and stink of flowers.

At least the house is quiet now, and the boys are abed. No one is upset, nor getting into anything that they shouldn't. Maybe I can rest now. :)