I Think I Can, I Think I Can....

I am going to proclaim a minor victory over sleepiness, today! :)  Ok, so I might be stretching just a bit, but I do still think that I won this minor skirmish. One of my boys had a very restless night, getting me out of bed several times through the night. In some ways, I think that that is worse than nighttime feedings when they were tiny, because I could at least count on them to drift back off to sleep for a couple of hours. Last night, I think that he had me up about every 30-45 minutes, though some times he'd start fussing again before I even got my head settled on my pillow.

As you can imagine, the idea of exercising today has been.... eh. However, I made a deal with myself. I would start working through my first mile, and if I just wasn't feeling it, if I really was that exhausted, all I had to do was finish that one mile. Well, I really AM that tired. Still, at least I put my shoes on and got my exercise in, even if it was the minimum, and I feel so wiped out now that I could take a nap this very minute. lol

I've decided that a nap sounds very wonderful, and I'm going for it. I know that I will feel refreshed, and that will help me power through the rest of the day. I am resolved that after Daddy is home from work, instead of popping in another exercise video, I am going to put my shoes on and walk outside. It is a mite windy out there, but it is certainly warm enough to get out in the sunshine. I'm sure that I can walk a mile or more outside without even thinking on it all that much. That will perk up my day, AND I'll have logged more than one mile in, which gets me closer to my goal for this week.

Week #1 Wrap-up

Well, I decided to finish the week strong this morning, by doing 2 miles together. Yay! This means that I met my mini-goal for the week, getting 4 miles in. Since it was a "short" week for me, being that I decided to start this half way through the week, I'll take it.  :)

I figure that since I'll have the rest of today, and over Shabbat for my ankle to rest and heal, I *should* be ready to bump things up just a wee bit next week. So, my mini-goal for week #2 will to to get in 7 miles. If I have to take a day off to run errands or I just don't feel all that well, it will be ok. I know that I can physically tolerate 2 miles in one workout, now. So, I am anticipating that I will likely have two days when I do two miles, though I could spread it out if it works better for me.

My first inclination is to jump right in and go like gangbusters, walking/jogging for 3 miles per day and adding in weights, blah, blah, blah. Have I told you that I have a hard time doing just small things? I have this really competitive spirit when it comes to exercise or sports. That spirit has no common sense. It doesn't care that I am simply not physically able to jump right in like that without hurting myself. That spirit seems to have forgotten what it feels like to be stuck in bed after having hernia repair surgery, from getting too crazy with the exercise. D'oh. So, I am trying very hard to let the rest of my brain tighten the reins on me, for a time. I would rather go super slow and take a year or more to get up to the "heavy" stuff, than to get hurt and spend months licking my wounds and just getting weaker. All forward progress is good.

Some of the reason why I am writing everything down here is so I can see how I am moving along, and to have a better idea of how I feel, when it comes time to start changing up the workouts. As it stands, I want to say that I won't be doing anything more than a couple days of 2-mile workouts in a week, until I feel confident that whatever I've done to my ankle has healed. This is the same naughty ankle that decided to get all squirrely on me when I was just pivoting away from the fridge with the jug of milk for the kidlets' breakfast. It did this whole *pop-burn* thing twice in one day, and now I have to be careful with it. I am noticing that I having some discomfort from lateral movement. The ankle just isn't strong enough to handle it like it should. So, some of my aerobic movements have to be smaller and more controlled. The left ankle is doing just fine though, which is a blessing. Yay.  :)

I ordered some other DVDs from the "Walk Away The Pounds" line, by Leslie Sansone. I had the original workouts with the weights, on VHS. However, I don't have a tape player anymore. I was able to find it on DVD though, which is awesome. I liked those tapes. I also got the "Five Really Big Miles" DVD along with "You Can Do Pilates". Chances are, I can't really do Pilates, but I can at least flub through it to my best ability, and call it exercise. lol  It's just something to help break things up, so I don't feel like I am in a rut, even though I am only physically able to do a limited amount of movements and exercises. Oh, the "joy" of being broken.

Anyway, I'll take the small victory of having completed the task that I set for myself, and I look forward to conquering next week!

What a Difference...

... a day makes.  Seriously!

Over on my Facebook "Timeline", I was grumbling over how nasty I felt yesterday. No joke. All I did was the first mile of Leslie Sansone's "Walk Away the Pounds: Walk at Home 5 mile" DVD. I was huffing and puffing, sweating far too much, and felt like maybe I had strained my right ankle quite a bit. Poor ankle. It's not it's fault that it has to haul around all of .. this. *waves hand over self* Yup. I'm sorry, all of you joints. It just hasn't been fair of me, doing this to you. I'm trying to rectify it though.

Anyway, let me just put away the slightly scary 'talking to myself' thing, and get back to talking to you, somewhere out in the internet. (Ok, probably still talking to myself, but let me pretend....)

I wiped the toddler fingerprints off of my DVD, since a boy figured out how to get into the player. I had thought to do any number of other things that I needed to get done, and then realized that I was doing that thing again. Oh, the "but I've got a million and one things to do" that aren't take care of yourself. Realizing that I was in danger of doing that dreaded thing, I hurriedly popped in that DVD and got to getting my sweat on while there aren't any babies to trip over.

I feel so much better today. It's so goofy. You wouldn't think that one day would make any difference, but I can tell that it has made a difference for me. That's not to say that everything is wonderful and birds are chirping around my head. I still got a big sweaty, and since I was flinging my arms around like a wild thing, I did still huff and puff a little bit. See, on this particular video, there is a section of the 1 mile where you're supposed to jog and kick at the same time. Ever seen an elephant jump? Probably not, eh? Yeah.... it's not happening here, either. I can jog a little bit, carefully. I can't be kicking and jogging at the same time, because I still need to function for the rest of the day. My joints are already tortured, and I'm damaged in ways that losing weight won't fix. (The bones in my legs are crooked, and my knees are totally whack. There is no fixing it, aside from some terribly painful surgeries that might not work anyway. No, thank you.)

Since my ankle hurt so much yesterday, I decided on more exercise, hauling around toddlers and pushing their mega-stroller up and down ramps all over the big mall last night. I probably got more exercise than doing the DVD earlier that morning. lol I dragged all three of the kiddos into the shoe store with me, the one that sells the actual name-brand running shoes, and all of that jazz. I love Payless for general 'putz around the  house' shoes, but I need to have GOOD shoes to exercise in, because of my joint problems. Still, I ended up getting a pair of shoes that were from a brand that I didn't recognize, for the first time in my adult years. We'll see how these Ryka shoes work out. I normally buy Adidas, because they have been kind to me over the years. However, the only Adidas that were anywhere near my budget were.... loud. (I had to explain that concept to my 10 year old daughter. ) Just because I was born in the 80's, it doesn't mean that I want to wear them on my feet. I'm in my early 30's, and I really don't need shoes that basically glow in the dark, or cause me to desire a torn sweatshirt falling off of one shoulder. I don't mind the layered slouch socks, but that is neither here nor there.

The scary thing is that I've found that my feet have gotten huge. I guess it makes sense though. You don't see elephants on little bitty toesies. Nope. They've got big squishy feet to handle all of that body. Well, now I have my big squishy feet too. My first pair of Adidas were a size 9. After years of making babies, and particularly after carrying the twins, I am now solidly in a size 10 in both my boots and athletic shoes.

While I was walking, jogging, and kicking my feet all around, I noticed that my hips feel a little less wobbly. I suspect that it is simply that the muscles have had to wake up, to move all of me. Since they are awake and actually being  used, I can feel a slight difference in the jiggliness of them. That's pretty cool. Oh, it is just the smallest thing, but I'll take it. Also, since I wore my new shoes while exercising, my ankle isn't hurting like it was yesterday. It is still just a touch sore, because I had strained it quite a bit, but it is far better than it was. Yay! :)  Again, a small victory, but a victory none-the-less. I'll take it.

I am trying very hard to slowly build up the wall in my thinking again, the one that has crumbled over the past 3 years. (I can't believe it has been that long!) I went through the stages of : 1. Bed-rest. Don't move, lest the babies fall out   2. Can't move, because my belly is wreaked and my guts might fall out   and 3. Would like to move, but don't know how, because I'm all hurting and ochies. I'm ready to move into the next stage...

I can move, because I need to move. I will move, because every extra bit helps. Exercise = Physical Therapy

That is me. I'm not working on my diet right now, because it isn't nearly as important as learning how to move again. I feel like a person who has lost a leg or two, and is standing at the bars and trying to figure out how to walk on new, borrowed legs. I'm as wobbly as a newborn foal, and I'm more likely to fall down than run. I know that from time to time, I AM going to fall down, and fall "off the wagon". There are going to be days when I make the wrong choice. Still, if I can just make these small bouts of exercise a habit, so that it just because as natural as reaching for my glasses in the morning, all the rest will sort itself out.

So, here we go. It's physical therapy time. I am going to come here frequently and jot down some goals for myself. It's not a pass or fail test, but just a way for me to see if I am making any kind of forward progress, or if I need to find a friend to help and encourage me past my bumps in the road.

Ok, anyway.... for this week, I've gotten two miles of the walk/jog thing in. Here is my goal, to finish out the rest of the week: 

Before sundown on Friday, I would like to log in another two miles. 

That will make four miles for the week, which I think is a good, fine start for a gal with as many aches and pains as I'm working through. I won't be exercising at all from sundown on Friday, until sundown on Saturday. On Sunday, I can come back here and lay out my new goals for the next week, along with what good thing I've decided to do for myself on that day.

Hey, it looks good on wolves...

Gray, that is.

I have been feeling encouraged this morning, by ladies who have decided to not color their hair in an effort to hide their gray.

When it comes down to it, I'm tired of rubbing chemicals into my head, trying to "look my age" while standing next to my husband. :)  He's a cutie, and has taken it upon himself to dig around through his hair to find a gray hair that he could pull out and show me, to make me feel better. Hahaha. Silly guy. He did find ONE. I've been more liberally blessed (?) with this mark of wisdom.

I'm going to go out on a limb and suppose that the physical difficulties that I've gone through, and the emotional stress over the years has had something to do with the color change in my hair. Plus, I'll be honest and say that I'm not as nutritionally sound as I should be. I need to take better care of myself, in just about every fashion. Having babies has been HARD on me, both physically and mentally. There is only so much of it that I could even share with another person, even if I wanted to. I can't even begin to count the times when the Ruach HaKodesh has had to do my speaking for me, because my heart has been so overcome. Right out of the gate, things have been difficult, being pregnant at 19, and then losing our first baby boy shortly after my 20th birthday. It feels like I've spent nearly all of my adult life either pregnant, grieving, worrying, or trying to recover and have all my bits and pieces sewn back together.

I am in a pretty happy place right now, and so much emotional stress has been lifted from me. Now, I just have to deal with the physical stuff. I decided a few weeks ago that as part of nurturing myself, one thing that is going away is the hair dye. I'd been toying with the idea of coloring it any number of wild and crazy colors, just to push away the frustration of feeling that I have to color it in the first place. After all, what gal in her early thirties wants to be looked at like she is "old" or is "giving up" on her upkeep, especially when her husband is still very young at heart, and in body?

After about 5 years of pouting and stressing about the glowing white hairs that are determined to take over my hair, I'm simply done fighting with it. This isn't something to make war about. I'm rather blessed that the color of my hair is any concern, because at least it is all here, still growing out of my head. Not all of the women in my family have been so blessed, and I know how hard it is on them. I'm betting that my years of whining sounds utterly ridiculous to women who would be happy to have more hair at all, regardless of what color it is. I wouldn't say that vanity has been my problem, but more an inappropriate sense of insecurity and a failing to see myself as lovely.

Now is as good a time as any to get down to the heart of the matter, instead of trying to spread a little color on it, rub on a little makeup, or trying to dress it up with different clothes. For the time being, it will have to suffice to say- I know that I'm not a young girl, and it's going to show all over me. That's ok. I may look a little weathered, and have plenty of "battle scars", but I am steady, hard-working, and faithful. I'm pretty sure that those things are more attractive than the amount of pigment I do or do not have in my hair. I should probably put that on a post-it note on my mirror though, for those weak moments when I forget.  :)

BumGenius "Freetime" Diapers

Since I enjoy our BumGenius 4.0 diapers so much, I thought that I would buy a couple of the new "Freetime" diapers in the "Albert" print. I read a lot of reviews first, before making my purchase, because I don't have a whole lot of money. I can only buy a few diapers at a time, and they have to really work for us. But, since I really like BG and most of the reviews were really good, I decided to shell out the money for a couple diapers for my boys to use and abuse. If you haven't seen this new diaper, here is a video that Kim from Dirty Diaper Laundry (*one of my favorite diaper-minded sites*) made, and you can see all of the inside bits.  :)




With only having two of these diapers in my rotation, it took me a little while to see how I was really going to like it. I can imagine that other moms will have different opinions on how it functions, being that I don't have real young babies to use it on. My boys are currently  1- 1/2 years old. I've found that this diaper seems to be a little more generous than the 4.0 diapers. It isn't that they are bulkier, but that they seem to have just a little more rise. Maybe it has more to do with how the insides all lay together? I don't know.

Both of my boys are able to wear this diaper on the medium setting, and are very comfortable. I love not having to stuff the diaper, and when I put it under their bottoms, I just hold the back of the diaper and gently pull the front with my other hand. The two fold-over panels then open up just enough to adjust for the size of my little ones. With the way that the flaps fit in the diaper, it keeps any bulk from sliding up too high inside the diaper, and causing the waist area to become ill-fitting. I've had a little trouble with this, with some other diapers. I would stuff them and try to fold down some of the insert and pull everything a little further down in the diaper, because having the insert right under the snaps was making it difficult to get the leg adjustment where I needed it to be without making the waist too tight. As I said, one of my boys is rather skinny. Because of the absorbent flaps being sewn in the front and back, I don't have to worry about them traveling where I don't want them.

I've read some reviews where folks had trouble with the flaps bunching up, but I haven't had that problem at all. With the middle setting, I don't have to fold the flaps over at all for my boys. This might be where our experience could be totally different from trying to diaper a small infant. I can imagine that with the two flaps, watery baby poo, particularly if the babe is breastfed, it might get pretty messy inside the diaper. To be honest though, having nursed both of my boys, there wasn't a single diaper that was any different. There is going to be crazy, wicked mess. Just so long as it is held in and doesn't leave me changing the baby's clothes every time they have a poo, I'm fine with it. With little baby poo, it isn't all that sticky, so I can't imagine that it is all that hard to wash off. On the other hand, I don't have a diaper sprayer. Some folks get so comfortable with never having to touch anything, they are terribly put-out if they have to swish a diaper or wash it out by hand. I've heard that these diapers are hard to spray, because of the flaps. If you use a sprayer, that might be something to consider. Since my boys have some pretty solid poo, I can usually just dump it over in the toilet, and the Freetime hasn't made this any more difficult.

I like the absorbency in these diapers. I've only used them during the day, and I don't need any extra inserts for them. If I were going to use them at night, I'd probably want to put at least an extra layer of microfleece in the bottom of the diaper. Since I've used the 4.0's pretty regularly overnight, without any leaks, I can't imagine these causing me any trouble. I know that some folks think that by the time you have it all stuffed and ready for bed, the diapers are rather bulky. However, I haven't found a nighttime solution that isn't bulky, aside from a paper diaper. My concern isn't how bulky something is at night, but rather whether it will leak, or whether the waist and leg bindings will be comfortable for that many hours. If I put BG diapers on a little loose, they don't leave any marks, but still don't leak. That works for me. I'll certainly go with that if I don't have my woolies available at night.

Anyway, I thought that all of the folding of the flaps would be annoying, and then found out that I don't need to fold them at all on the medium size. Groovy. We have plenty of room to move up to the Large size as the boys grow. Should they need more absorbency, it is no trouble to drop an insert into the bottom of the diaper and flip the flaps back over it. I love not having to stick my hand inside a diaper, because it's just not an easy task for me. Maybe I have fat hands. lol

Well, there it is. If we need to buy more diapers to fill out our rotation, I would be pretty happy to pick up some more of these. I think that the "Albert" pattern is so stinkin' cute. It would be cool if they had some more patterns like this that were attractive. I'm not into the abstract "artist series" stuff that they have been doing. I like the color choices that they offer in solids though, so it would be no hardship to "settle". :)

TotsBots Easy Fit Diapers

So, I splurged on some new diapers a little while back. I bought some Easy-Fit diapers by TotsBots. They were a few dollars more expensive than the AIO diapers that I had previously bought, but I thought that that might be alright, given that there is a higher stated weight limit for them. With one of my boys being a rather sturdy little guy, it is hard to tell what we'll still be able to fit him into by the time that he is ready to start using the potty.

Appearance
I really like the colors and prints that TotsBots has available. Sure, it doesn't mean a whole lot, especially when the Littles usually have pants on over their diapers. Still, it is kind of nice to have a cool pattern or nice looking color, because they can run around without their pants on during the summer time.

I was surprised by how wide, thick, and sturdy the hook and loop closures are. The strip on the tummy looks a little less sturdy, so I am hoping that it won't fall apart after a year of use. The tabs themselves though, are pretty nice, and they fold over and hold real well on the laundry tab section.

The inside of the diaper has brushed polyester around the outer edges of the diaper, to keep it from wicking moisture out onto the baby's clothes. The inside panel is a very soft rayon, from bamboo. On the other side of the panel is absorbent microfiber. Instead of having a separate insert for this diaper, this diaper has an inside panel that is twice as long, that you tuck into the pocket.

I have to admit, when I first opened these diapers, I checked to make sure that no one was around to tease me, and then I rubbed one on my cheek. These are SO soft. I think that this is one of the things that I like the best about this diaper. They are just so soft. The only part of this diaper that isn't incredibly soft and flexible is the hook and loop. The leg elastic is stretchy enough, that combined with the softness of the fabric, these diapers don't leave any marks on my little boys.

The longer insert is so convenient, being that I can't lose it and don't have to hunt through my laundry basket to find the right inserts. Stuffing the diaper is made easier by the fact that the opening is made to open up wider than the other diapers that I've used. So, I can get my hand in there, with the insert, without having to fuss overly much with it.

Function

I like this diaper, but I can't see buying any more of them than I currently have. I wouldn't mind having a whole stash of them, but they simply cost too much. I understand that they have to be imported from Scotland, and that impacts the price. It would be awesome if they were a few dollars cheaper, because I think that plenty of moms would enjoy this diaper if it would fit in their budget more easily.

I love how trim these diapers can be, for little ones who don't wet a whole lot at one time. If we are around the house and I don't mind changing the boys more frequently, the single attached insert is just fine. The little ones seem to enjoy the freedom of movement that comes with having a smaller diaper. However, if I know that they are drinking a lot of fluids and will be hard to pin down for a diaper change, this diaper just won't cut it on it's own. I have to add a doubler to the pocket, and that makes the diaper just as thick as any of the other pocket diapers that we've used.

So, all in all, I think that these are a real nice diaper. They would be great to put in our diaper bag, since they are so trim. Packing a bag with cloth diapers for twins is... challenging. These TotsBots Easy Fit diapers would fit nicely, and I can just throw them into the diaper pail without pulling out any inserts. Very good. The price, however, is pretty prohibitive. These were a real splurge for me at $23 each. If I had needed to buy separate inserts at approximately $3 each, that makes these diapers pretty spendy.

It looks like the AIO winner is our house is still the BumGenius 4.0 with snaps. We'll see soon how the BumGenius Freetime compares to the functionality of our reigning 'champion'.  :)

Groceries & The Menu Plan

Breakfasts: Crock Pot porridge. I bought two canisters of oats, one "old fashion", and one "quick". If I am running behind and am in a crunch, I can always cook up some quick oats and at least get something in some tummies. If I have my stuff together and haven't completely gone all 'air head', then hopefully I can have the oats cook overnight and be ready in the morning for the kidlets. It cost $4 for all the oats, which should last more than this one week. Using some canned milk from the store, and fruit & honey from home, I think that the kidlets will be plenty happy with their morning meal. I even have some nuts on-hand for Sissy, should she want them... or even a few chocolate chips. As a compliment to the meal, and in our attempt to not be scurvy pirates, we will be enjoying some unsweetened orange juice with breakfast. I'm not sure that the boys will appreciate it, but I'll see if they like a little mixed in with their water. If not, they can have a splash of Daddy's apple cider in their water cups.

Snacks: We have bananas this week, along with a box of graham crackers. I have some ready-made muffin mix in the pantry, and I think that I'll make up some of those too. That should keep the boys from eating each other, I think. A muffin should be sufficient to keep Sissy from wasting away during homework time, before dinner is ready.

Lunches: In an effort to cut down on our expenses, I am going to make a point to pack lunches for DH this week. I got a pound of Roasted Chicken luncheon meat for sandwiches, and we have pretzels and popcorn at home already. So, since he likes to snack, I will probably air-pop some popcorn for my love, to go with his sandwich. Since he has a water bottle already, he'll be all set on that front. The boys and I can eat soups, and I bought a pack of cheese for Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. We also already have the fixin's for scrambled eggs, french toast, or maybe some Spaghetti O's. There is a little bit of everything. Sissy gets a hot lunch at school, since it makes it pretty hard for her to accidentally forget her lunch somewhere and go hungry. hehe.

Dinners: Ok, this is going to be a little trickier. This is what I have in the grocery bag today:
1 whole fryer
Approx. 5 lbs. of onions
Frozen Veggies: Corn, Green Beans, and California Medly
10 lbs. of potatoes

I have some carrots in the fridge, that could be used up before they get slimy. I have some other things in the pantry, that I can pull if I need it.

I am thinking that we'll do something like....

*put a turkey in the fridge to defrost for next week*

Sunday: Leftover Mac and Cheese, steamed broccoli, steamed peas, and buttered bread.
Monday: Roasted chicken breast and legs, baked potatoes, roasted onions, and soup w/ crackers
Tuesday: Chicken corn chowder (whatever meat I can pick from the thighs and back of chicken, corn, potatoes, carrots, misc. scavenged veggies from the freezer, milk) in homemade bread bowls
Wednesday: Pinto bean soup, Corn muffins
Thursday: Eggs , Pancakes (make extra pancakes for Saturday morning)

*Shabbat*: Spaghetti w/ meat sauce, bread w/ garlic butter (plenty of leftovers to eat the next afternoon)






My trip to the store today cost me $45.70. Let's see if we can make it until the beginning of next week before seeing the store again.  :)